


At The Edge of Hope

by bookwormally



Series: Fortune Favors the Brave [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim, Characters Added As They Appear - Freeform, M/M, No Character Death, its my version of PacRim and I do what I want, its the akusai divorce and reunion but with big monsters and mechs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:35:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24895525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwormally/pseuds/bookwormally
Summary: "How long has it been since you’ve seen his heart?"In 2013, an inter-dimensional rift opened at the bottom of the ocean. Monsters crawled out and humanity discovered the best way to stop them was to make monsters of their own. Jaeger versus Kaiju, it was a time for heroes.Axel wanted to be a hero, but war has never been the same as the stories. After an incident left him unwilling to be a pilot, he left the program behind. But the war has not ended and Axel is drawn back, back to the war and back to Isa.
Relationships: Axel/Saïx (Kingdom Hearts), Isa/Lea (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Fortune Favors the Brave [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2066316
Comments: 209
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pacific Rim is my favorite movie of all time. This was inevitable.
> 
> As the tags say, no character death in this story! Feel free to enjoy without waiting for an ax to fall on anyone's head every time they go out to fight. Canon typical violence will apply and that's Pacific Rim violence so blood and injuries will be mentioned when they happen. Nothing graphic, I promise, as I am a weenie.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for checking out my fic and I hope you enjoy!

When the war started, it almost felt like a story. Monsters, heroes, the call to action… What kid tossed aside and never good enough wouldn’t want to be a hero? Square meals, good clothes, polished suits and waves to the crews as they climb into a machine built just for them. It’s a dream, a fantasy made reality.

War, it turns out, is not heroic. It’s not a story even if the only enemy is an army of monsters, clawing their way up from the bottom of the ocean. Good soldiers follow orders. Good soldiers bear the burden of war on their shoulders. Good soldiers stand beside one another, holding each other up.

Good soldiers don’t desert.

A good man doesn’t leave the weight of the world on his partner’s shoulders.

He knew he wasn’t a good person when he left, a set of eyes burning holes into his back.

* * *

It’s a rare day where the sunshine actually feels as bright as it looks. No clouds, heavy with rain or rolling with dust, are moving in. It’s actually warm, the sun doing its best to show them that something like summer could still be real. It certainly has an effect on the kids.

Snagging the potato from one of them, Axel holds it up, well above their heads and grabbing arms. “What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“Aw, come on,” the thief whines. “We were going to play hot potato!”

“This is a raw potato.” Axel gives it a wiggle, lifting it higher as one of them jumps at him. “It’ll be hot once I’ve cooked it.”

“Dinner’s not for hours,” another says, lip popping out into a pout. “I want to play instead of wait for it!”

The whole group choruses agreement and Axel sighs. “Well you’re not playing with the food. We need all of it or someone doesn’t get potatoes tonight.” He tosses it to his other hand and pulls something from his pocket. He shows the group an actual tennis ball and arches an eyebrow. “No taking the food for games.”

“No taking the food for games,” they repeat back, all eight of them. One of the taller ones sticks their tongue out and Axel snorts. He tosses the original thief the ball. With a cheer all of them take off for a more open bit of ground.

“Remember, come find me once the line-up starts if anyone gets pushy!” Axel calls after them. He gets two waves back from the oldest, good enough. Tossing the potato up and down with one hand, he turns and heads back to the large tent they have set up.

Like most of the inland refugee centers, this one is doing the best with what little it has. Axel’s been to about a dozen in the last couple years and they’re all the same. The rich don’t want anyone near their lands, safe and cozy in the middle of the continent, but they refuse to do more than give an occasional gift to look like they care about everyone who’s been displaced. Disgust for the rich assholes content to abandon the rest of the planet is not new for Axel, but his recent days have certainly solidified it into something harder than granite. 

The box of potatoes is still sitting beside the entrance and he hefts it up into his arms. He ducks as he passes through the entrance; the flaps have been sagging thanks to the most recent storm and no one’s tied them back up. He should probably do that as the tallest who works here, but Axel’s got a million other things on his plate first.

The tent is bustling, everyone working to get all sorts of food prepared before dinner hits. Axel dodges around them until he gets back to his corner and the big pot that he was peeling potatoes into. He drops the box beside the pot and then settles onto the folding chair there. The peeler is waiting where he left it, but he stretches out his hand a bit.

“Everything alright?”

Axel looks left with a grin. “Yeah, just tired of peeling. I should have had the kids come help instead of giving them the ball to run around with.”

Elizabeth chuckles, her hands working deftly as she peels carrots with a practiced hand. “Then someone would lose a finger or worse, they’d try to sword fight with the peelers.”

“Think I’d be more scared watching that than watching a Kaiju come charging down the street,” Axel says dryly. 

“Oh certainly.” Elizabeth tosses another carrot into the pan beside her, almost full and ready to be chopped up. “Especially when you know they’d have someone here to deal with any Kaiju in short order. With the kids, you’d have to do the disarming yourself.”

Axel hums in reply, watching the potato peel curl off in one long string. He can feel her gaze and looks at her again. “It’s been a while since the last attack.”

“You must have missed the news somehow. There was another last night off the eastern coast of Russia.” Elizabeth shakes her head. “They were lucky.  _ Ethereal _ was up there for something or other and saved them.”

His fingers tighten on the peeler. “Everyone okay?”

“They didn’t lose the Jaeger somehow. It seems like one goes down every other attack now.” Elizabeth sighs and then forces a smile on for him. “But everybody knows the  _ Ethereal _ is the second best team out there.”

Axel rolls his eyes. “Don’t start with the weird praise. I can’t believe you recognized me.”

“Hon, you’re a tall redhead and the kids always used to talk about their favorites at the shop. It’s not rocket science.” Elizabeth makes to pinch his cheek and Axel ducks away, sticking his tongue out at her. “You’re lucky the kids here don’t know you if you’re trying to be someone else.”

“Everybody’s a hero when you’re a kid,” Axel retorts. “It’s different when you’re an adult. You’re too kind.”

“Tell that to the carrots.” Elizabeth pops the top off of one with the peeler. Axel snorts and shakes his head. It’s not worth arguing about. Elizabeth hasn’t gone around telling everyone about him; he’s been left alone to do what he’s here to do: cook, fix things, and keep the kids entertained. It’s better this way.

The thrum of a helicopter passes overhead and they can hear the kids outside yelling and no doubt waving. They always get excited about any change, any possible visitor. It could be good news, they could all be going home. Axel sighs at the noise. More likely than that, it’s probably someone here to meet with the people in charge or some rich asshole here for publicity points as they check-in on the displaced peoples they’re only barely helping.

Axel looks at Elizabeth again. “Are we doing anymore for this batch or is this it for today?”

“This should be it.” Elizabeth looks toward the tent entrance with a frown. “No one at the office mentioned visitors today… I wonder who that is.”

“Who knows, who cares. Unless they’re here to help for real, they can do their little visit and get out.” Axel stretches his legs out around the pot. He pulls them back a moment later, not looking to trip anyone trying to get by him. The one thing he misses is having room to lounge. Here, there’s never quite enough room to let his legs stretch out, and there’s never the support he’s expecting when he drops his head.

_ ‘Romantic.’ _

“I’ll just have to hope that whoever it is, they don’t bother the kids.” Elizabeth slowly arches an eyebrow at him. “Considering that they have been gifted a new, very bouncy projectile.”

Axel just grins back at her. “Ducking is a valuable skill to have in all walks of life. As is learning not to piss off kids.”

Elizabeth laughs, one of those that brighten the air. It pulls the sunshine into the tent, makes it feel like a home.

Of course, he’s never had one of those that’s lasted.

Axel’s almost done with the potatoes when the shadow falls over him. Normally, he wouldn’t care. Normally, the shadow isn’t so broad. Dread settles in his stomach and he thinks about pretending that he’s completely involved in what he’s doing until they actually say something or move away.

“Excuse me,” a low voice says and Axel squeezes his eyes shut.  _ Goddammit. _

He looks up, schooling his expression to bland politeness. “How can I help you, Marshal?”

Aeleus O’Donahue, Marshal of the Pan Pacific Defense Corps, is not a man who fits well inside a tent like this. It’s also not a place that he belongs, not unless he’s here for someone. Aeleus, however, is also not a man who stands on posturing. He takes a seat on Elizabeth’s vacated chair with a sigh. “If you had anything cooked, I might ask for a taste.”

“Food’s for those who live here. There’s not enough to spare for you.” Axel taps the potato he has in hand with the peeler. “If you helped, maybe then you could have that taste.”

Aeleus arches an eyebrow at him and then holds a hand out. “I would be glad to.”

Axel arches an eyebrow right back and hands it over. His hands could use the break. He rubs his knuckles as he watches Aeleus set the peeler to what’s left on the potato. With an obviously practiced hand, Aeleus peels the potato in one long strip. He tosses the peel into Axel’s pile and the potato into the pot. He grabs one of the few left in the box and looks at Axel as he starts peeling the next one. “I used to have more time to cook.”

“Lucky you.” Axel leans back in the chair. “So, what is it that you want? If you wanted to come help, you wouldn’t have done it in uniform.”

“True. It’s a bit much for cooking in.” Aeleus meets his gaze straightforwardly. “I’m here for you.”

“Nope,” Axel replies immediately. “I left and I’m not going back. If that’s what you want, peel that and get out.”

Aeleus chuckles. “Is this your space? It wouldn’t surprise me.”

Axel frowns at him. “No, but it’s not yours either. Don’t you have coastlines to be protecting while they desperately try to pretend they have a long-term solution?”

“I do. That’s why I’m here.” Aeleus holds up a finger. “Not for a pilot. I’m here for something else.”

“If it’s my cooking skills, I’m not leaving here to go cook for military assholes. They have plenty already.” Axel folds his arms across his chest.

“Not for your cooking skills, though, even you couldn’t work a miracle on our supplies.” Aeleus’s smile is self-deprecating. “I’m here to ask you to be one of our trainers.”

_ What. _

“What?” Axel asks out loud. “Me, a trainer?”

Aeleus nods, tossing another peeled potato into the pot. “We have several new, younger pilots. A handful of them could be great, but they’re struggling to really find the true sync with each other. I thought you could assist.”

“I left,” Axel says, flatly. “What could I teach them?”

“Whatever you learned while running up some of the best synchronization numbers we ever saw.” Aeleus leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You understood it and we need that now more than ever.” His gaze slides back to Axel. “You have been missed.”

_ Bastard. _ Aeleus has always been a kind person, but it doesn’t stop him from being crafty. He didn’t earn Marshal from being  _ nice. _ Axel tightens the cross of his arms. “I doubt that. I keep up with the news.”

A new partner, a new Jaeger - Isa’s been doing just fine. The weight of the world on his shoulders and still he stands there, holding the line against the end. He’s never stopped looking handsome as all hell while doing it either. Yes, Axel’s kept up with the news. 

“Old partners aside,” Aeleus says, lips not even twitching into a smirk, “you brought something to the business. Many have missed you.” He finishes that potato and offers the peeler back. “You were one of the best. No matter what happened in the past, you could help more people be what we need to keep us all alive.”

_ To keep the people here alive. _ The truth is there, tucked under the words that Aeleus isn’t quite hard enough to say. Axel takes the peeler back and glares down at the potatoes. They’re neatly done, ready to be chopped up. Where they go next depends entirely on the choice of the cook.

“You won’t try to force me back into piloting?” The question comes almost too easily. The hooks in him he couldn’t remove, the ones he left because he knew all he could do was stretch the lines to their breaking point, tug at his skin.

“No. Training position only. I’m afraid we don’t have the Jaegers to even try to convince you to resume your former position.” Aeleus sits up straight again, the chair creaking under him. “You don’t have to decide now.”

Every time they fight, every time they get to see it on the news, Axel clenches his hands together until his fingers are a bloodless white. Every time he sees that damn silver Jaeger stand over another Kaiju corpse, he can breathe again. Isa has done just fine. He’s still alive when so many other Jaeger teams have fallen. He’s fought on, found something new. Isa is fine.

And Axel has wanted to see him again since he turned his back on Isa and walked away. Isa hates him, he’s sure, but to see him in person, to check for the little signs that he’s truly alright… It’s a siren song.

Axel sighs, shoving a hand through his hair. “No, no, I’ll do it. I can’t have more ‘what if’s’ following me around. I’ll train your damn newbies.”

Aeleus offers him a hand and after a long beat, Axel takes it. Both of them are slightly sticky from the potatoes, but it feels like a more equal deal for it. Aeleus shakes his hand firmly. “Whatever you need to get in order, do so. I have to leave at dawn and it’ll be easier if you come with me.”

It’s more time than he expected. “Yeah, yeah.” Axel waves a hand carelessly when Aeleus releases it. “I’ll be at the pad bright and goddamn early.”

“Good.” Aeleus stands. “I would stay and help more, but unfortunately, I have a few other things to check on while I’m here. I will see you at dawn, Ranger.” He walks away, nodding to the everyone he passes.

Axel almost spits on the floor.  _ Ranger. _ No damn way he’s taking the rank again either. He stands, lifting the pot up and heading for the stove. Thank god he has work to do. He’ll already be spending the entire night imagining everything stupid about this decision. 

Elizabeth is waiting for him, a hand on her hip. “Well, what was that all about?”

“He wanted to help with the potatoes, didn’t you see?” Axel sets the pot onto the stove and doesn’t meet her eyes. “Busy man though, or I’d make him help finish the rest.”

“Axel,” Elizabeth says firmly. “Are you going back?”

It has such weight the way that she asks. Axel turns on the stove, lighter clicking until the gas catches. It doesn’t give him real time to avoid the answer, but the flash of fire makes him spit the words out. “Yeah, to train them.”  _ To see him. _

She rests a hand on his arm, calloused and warm. “When?”

“Tomorrow at dawn. Told you he’s a busy man.” He looks at her with a smile, one he knows doesn’t reach his eyes.

Elizabeth meets his gaze, her own sympathetic. “We’ll miss you, but they couldn’t be in better hands.” She leans up to kiss his cheek. “Give those monsters hell for us.”

Axel forces the smile a bit wider. “I’ll teach ‘em everything I’ve got left.”

“Good.” She pats his cheek. “You know, the  _ Eclipse _ always was my favorite.”

He sighs as they both get back to work. “Flattery like that won’t make me talk. You just want old stories.”

“Yes,” she says with a smirk. “And I’ll want more when you come back.”

“Yeah, yeah, just like a nosy mom.” Axel’s smile eases into something softer, more natural. Maybe, when he gets back, he’ll actually be able to talk about it, about him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's July! Month 7, Isa month!
> 
> And I wanted to update today anyway, so yay for good reasons!

Somehow, despite keeping up with the news, Axel missed the information about all Jaeger teams operating out of one Shatterdome now. Wasn’t _Ethereal_ just up north? When he and Aeleus transfer from a helicopter to a plane, Axel knows he’s in for a much longer trip than he expected. Aeleus is kind enough to explain without making Axel ask embarrassing questions.

“The Shatterdome in Hong Kong is an ideal place to operate from with our now...limited numbers. It’s the closest to the Breach and one of the largest that was built. All attacks must come from the Breach and if we’re close and near one of the largest, most populated cities on the coast, they’re likely to turn their attention our way.”

“It’s not ideal. There’s no reason we’ve determined as to which way they seem to go once they leave the Breach, but it gives us a better chance. As good as one can be afforded considering other decisions that have been made.” Aeleus’s stiff expression says it all as far as Axel’s concerned. He doesn’t talk politics much, but everyone who’s not a rich bastard knows that the wall and other stupid projects were never going to be as effective. 

The one nice thing about it means that he won’t be walking through old memories as he moves around this Shatterdome. They were never deployed to Hong Kong - small blessing. He spends the rest of the plane ride trying and mostly failing to get any damn sleep. There’s too much waiting ahead of him and he spends more time watching his knee bounce up and down than keeping his eyes closed.

When they land, they immediately transfer to another helicopter. If they spend much longer in travel, if Axel has to sit and wonder much more about the inevitable sight of Isa after this long, he’s going to start smacking his head into the wall. Thankfully, the ride from the airstrip to the Shatterdome is on the shorter end.

Still, if he never has to fly again Axel will be eternally goddamn grateful. Leg room is actually the rarest and most valuable resource in the world. Unfolding from the cabin, he stays ducked until he’s out of the range of the rotating blades. Then, finally free, he stretches his arms over his head. “God, I’m getting old.”

“A backache doesn’t make you old,” Aeleus says with a smile. “It makes you too tall for this short world.”

“You’re tall. Make your world bigger,” Axel retorts. He shades his eyes as he looks up at the Shatterdome. He’s never been to this one before and it’s much more massive than he was expecting. Probably for the best with how many teams Aeleus has operating out of it. Just storing five Jaegers would take a ton of room. He looks across the deck, at all the people moving back and forth. A number of large black cases are being unloaded from a truck, overseen by a man in a white coat. “Parts?” Axel asks, looking at Aeleus.

Aeleus shades his eyes and then nods. “We have a scientist on staff who specializes in studying Kaiju remains.”

“Gross,” Axel says brightly and starts walking toward the door. “Count me out.”

“Trainers don’t normally spend time in Doctor Iskald’s lab. You’ll be fine.” Aeleus catches up quickly, nodding to anyone who looks their way. “I’d like to show you around and get you settled, but knowing how things go while I’m out for a day, I’m sure I’ll be drug off to other business. First thing I’d like to do is find someone I trust to show you around.”

Axel hasn’t entirely forgotten how a Shatterdome is usually laid out, but this one is fucking huge and they’re usually kind of maze-like. “Appreciate it. When do I get an official schedule?”

“You’ll be shown to the training center and meet our head trainer. He’ll give you a schedule. You should have most of today to settle in.” Aeleus is checking his already beeping phone. He frowns at the screen. “Things move quickly around here, but you know that. Let someone know if you’re in need of more time for adjustment.”

“Sure.” Adjustment, ha, okay, He’s here to train their pilots on being teammates or whatever. He doesn’t need to _adjust_ to that. It’s the same as teaching the kids how to have fewer fights, just with a more technical mind-melding angle. Axel shrugs his bag into a better spot on his shoulders. “Who are we looking for then?”

They’re passing through the gate now, into the metal paneled halls that he remembers. The lights burn a slightly orange-yellow and something in Axel’s chest untwists just a bit. It’s still the same sort of place, even if he’s no longer the same person. He can figure out some way to fit while they need him.

Aeleus sighs at his phone and pockets it. “Who’s around?” He stares up the hall at an obvious intersection and then smiles. “Ah, perfect.” Aeleus lifts a hand, grabbing the attention of half the hall. “Ranger Lunara, if you could!”

 _Shit, fuck, and dammit._ Axel tightens his grip on one strap of his bag until his knuckles are white. He glares at the back of Aeleus’s head because the man could not have planned a better nightmare if he tried. Axel wanted to see Isa. He didn’t particularly want Isa to see _him._ Aeleus glances at him and his smile is kind, even if his eyes are harder. Axel considers flipping him off, but curls his hand into a tight fist instead.

Playing deaf would be easy, faux surprise as he looks anywhere else until he has to. Too bad his eyes are already looking past Aeleus, to the bright head of hair moving their way. Isa’s eyes are fixed on Aeleus at first, so Axel gets to see the moment they slide to him. Isa jerks to a stop for a moment, his face an open expression of raw shock. Then, with a grimace, Isa moves, his eyes fixed pointedly on his Marshal again.

Axel exhales. It doesn’t help the squeeze around his ribs. It’s been four years and Isa is just the same as he remembers. His hair is neatly braided down his back to look more official, except for the two pieces he always lets swing on either side of his face. The planes of his face look sharper, the edges of his scar drawing the eye to the line of his jaw. Isa has always been beautiful, even when he’s screaming in fury. Axel might prefer that to the cold he can see setting in on Isa’s face.

The weird thing is, why wouldn’t Aeleus ask _Isa_ about bringing him back? Surely, that’s how he’d even hear about what he was like as a pilot. It’s not like numbers on their own tell you anything important.

“Marshal,” Isa says shortly. “Welcome back.” He gives a little salute which Aeleus waves off. “How can I help you?”

“I’ve got a million and one things to handle, including making sure the lab is still in one piece.” Aeleus pauses with a certain strained look.

Isa grimaces again. “They didn’t set each other on fire, but I was told that there was some concern about poison and Junior’s food.”

“Fantastic,” Aeleus sighs. “I’ll deal with that. Show Axel to an open room in the pilot’s wing and then to the training room. Dilan will take charge of him from there. Thank you, Ranger. Axel, we’re glad to have you. I will see you both later.” Aeleus nods to them and then walks off, lifting his phone to his ear.

The hallway is not empty, but Axel feels the immediate silence between them pound at his ears. What the hell is he supposed to say here? Nothing? Nothing feels like the best idea. Anything else, about Isa, about life in general, is liable to be all the opening Isa needs to rip him apart.

“This way,” Isa says flatly, turning on his heel and walking quickly away.

Axel follows without a squeak, his gait still long enough to catch up before Isa disappears in the crowd of people. Isa takes the left hall when they reach the intersection, but doesn’t say a word. The further they walk, the more Axel dares to look at him. The hallway empties out away from the main gate and the rush of things moving in and out. There’s only Isa to notice as he looks at the harsh edges he’s seen on the news. 

Unfriendly, ruthless, but reliable, that’s what they say about the _Ethereal_ pilots. Right now, Axel can only see the image from the news in Isa’s face. It’s not reassuring, but it’s also probably at least fifty percent his fault. Still, he kind of thought that in private Isa would be less...cold. He’s got to have something with his new partner, right? He never liked the news cameras, always frowning at them, but in private...

“Why are you here?” The question is as sudden as Isa’s stop. Axel steps quickly to the side before he runs right into him. Isa turns, arms crossing over his chest, and pins him in place with a glare that practically cracks with ice.

“Ah, training. Marshal wanted me to help train the new pilots.” Axel holds his hands up. “I won’t be in your business at all.”

Isa’s eyes narrow, but he turns and starts walking again. Axel honestly expected an argument with how quickly he stopped and spit the question out, but apparently not. He rubs at his arm and follows Isa again. Another turn, this time to the right, and doors appear. Isa strides to one. “This one is empty.”

“Any idea why he’d put me over here instead of where the trainers are?” Axel puts a hand on the door and pushes it open. Yep, tiny, just like he expected. But hey, maybe the bed is long enough for him! Wouldn’t that be nice. Axel shrugs his bag off.

“I assume because one of the trainers lives with his husband and the other is already here.” Isa points at the door to the right of Axel’s. 

Shoving his bag out of the way of the door, Axel steps back out. He doesn’t have that much of value so isn’t bothered by the lack of a noticeable lock. He’ll figure it out if or when he feels like he needs to. “Right. Thanks.” The squeeze on his ribs tightens. It’s like there’s hardly any air here at all.

Isa looks him up and down, sniffs, and then turns away again. “This way.”

“Come on, the jacket’s not that bad,” Axel mutters, mostly out of habit. He bites his lip, but Isa has already stopped moving again. _Fuck._

Isa is glaring when he turns back around. Axel has seen Kaiju eyes that are friendlier than the look he’s pinned with again. “Do you think this is a joke?” Isa asks, so coldly that Axel can feel the air temperature drop five degrees.

“Hell. No, of course not.” Axel frowns at him. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m not trying to pretend like we’re still...you know.” Friends, partners, _everything_.

“No, we’re not _anything_ anymore.” Isa takes a step towards him again. “You decided that. You’re the one who _left._ ” The last word is spat at him.

Isa’s fury has always been a thing to behold. Ever since they were kids when it was directed at adults that wouldn’t give them more than a sneer. Axel always thought he was one of the bravest people in the world, that he’d look any problem in the eye and find a way through if not a way out. To have Isa’s anger directed at him, well, it burns against his skin. Not that he doesn’t deserve it. Isa isn’t _lying._

Axel swallows. “I know. Like I said, I’ll be out of your business here. I’m only here because Aeleus asked. Made a good point about protecting the people I was looking after.”

Isa presses his lips so flat that they’re pale at the edges. “The people you were looking after,” he says slowly, furiously. “How _kind_ of you to decide now that they’re worth it. How good of you to finally come back for _other people!_ ” Isa shouts the last two words and they echo down the hall. He steps closer to Axel, jabs a finger into his sternum. “You abandoned everyone when you left. Don’t act like you’re such a saint now.”

“I know!” Axel wants to grab the hand, wants to push Isa back away from him. It feels like if he does, he’ll shatter what little there still is between them. “I know, Isa. I’m not-. I only came back because I knew it meant I wouldn’t be piloting. I’m not good enough for that, not after I left.”

“You weren’t good enough before,” Isa spits. “And now he wants you to train them? Then they’ll break under the pressure just like you.”

Isa is a hard person, one that has endured more than most, but that is a smack in the face. Axel puts a hand to Isa’s shoulder and presses him back a step. “Just because I fucked up, doesn’t mean you can talk about-!”

“Excuse me.”

Both of their heads snap around. Axel is startled out of most of his anger by the rather short, young person standing there. Bright blue eyes look between him and Isa and they arch a dark brow. “Ranger Lunara, is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine, Xion.” Isa yanks himself from Axel’s grip and takes two steps back. He tugs his uniform jacket straight and his expression is already more professional coolness than anger simmering just below the surface. “Do you need something?”

“Captain sent me to find the new guy. The Marshal sent him a message that they were here.” Xion looks at Axel. “Is that you?”

“That’s me,” Axel says tiredly. He looks at Isa, feeling the weight of the argument cut short. “Isa-.”

“Xion, you can escort him to the training center. I have other things to do.” Isa is already turning on his heel and marching away. His braid swings back and forth with the force of his movements.

Axel sighs and messes up his hair with a hand. _Great. That went absolutely great._

Xion clears their throat. “I would recommend not making him angry. He’s basically the top ranked pilot here, even if we’re all rangers.”

“Trust me,” Axel says, “I know.” He rubs his neck and then offers a hand. “Axel. Don’t worry about any rank with me.”

“Ranger Mochizuki Xion. Nice to meet you.” They smile and give him a very firm handshake. “How long have you been here?”

Axel honestly has to think about it. “Maybe twenty minutes?”

Xion snorts. “And Dilan was acting like he couldn’t wait any longer. Come on, better to head off his annoyance too.” They turn and head further down the hall, opposite the direction Isa went. Axel looks that way, because he can’t help himself, because he didn’t look back last time he left. Isa’s already gone and that’s for the best.

With another sigh, he follows Xion further into the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last names, last names everywhere.  
> For those who aren't familiar with PacRim, if anything in the setting/terms confuse you, let me know! I'm more than happy to explain PacRim stuff


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter begins the wonder of "Watch bookwormally inflate her cast list to bursting because she doesn't know how to not write basically everyone." Aka, let's meet a few of our current rangers!

There’s something to be said for simplicity and efficiency. Axel’s not opposed to nice things, to tools and clothes that are new. Hell, he used to have a lot of affection for gold earrings until he needed money to eat. It was nice to live for a bit without having to constantly worry about that, to get to indulge in putting gold in his ears and feeling secure. 

But he’d be a liar if he said that that was what he was used to and found the most comfort in. Simple furniture, well-worn over excess, this is what he’s known more than anything. Stepping into this Shatterdome’s training room is like stepping into a place he’s lived in for years. How many hours did he spend in a room just like this one?

Looking around at the exercise machines, the weights, the wide space layered with mats for partnered exercises, Axel shakes off the worst of the twisting in his gut from his confrontation with Isa. He knows places like this, knows how he can be useful. Even the familiar shape of the drift simulator in the corner can’t tug the smile from his face. 

By the time he thinks to look down, Xion’s disappeared and there are several other faces staring at him. One is over by the weights, a sizable dumbbell in one hand. Two of them are seated on the floor, clearly in the middle of stretching together. Redheaded and with a ton of freckles, at first, Axel thinks he’s looking at a sibling of his that he was unaware of. She arches an eyebrow at him, but it’s the other one that speaks first. 

“You’re the new trainer?” Wide, dark brown eyes make him look incredibly innocent. If Axel thought Xion looked young, the eyes and spiky hair floating around his head make this one look like an actual kid.

“What? Am I that surprising?” Axel arches an eyebrow at him. 

“I thought you’d be as old as Dilan, maybe some wrinkles.” He shakes his head, making his hair bounce, and then grins at him. “I’m Sora Halili!”

The redhead leans back, tugging Sora forward and further into the stretch. He huffs a breath out, but she doesn’t pull so far that it looks ready to injure him. “Sorry, he hasn’t yet learned that he can’t say everything that’s popped into his head.” She smiles up at him. “I’m Kairi Vidales.”

Axel smirks at her. “If that’s the worst I hear, it’s hardly a bad day.” He heard _much_ worse before they walked in. Though, if the kid keeps up about wrinkles, Axel will list out his skincare routine in depth until he appreciates how _great_ Axel’s skin is. “Nice to meet you, Kairi. Are you the polite one?”

Her grin grows just a bit. “I’m making a good first impression.”

“Before you learn that she’s the one who’s pulling pranks on you, because Ranger Umoya threatened her with sanitation duty for a month if she kept targeting him.” The tall, silver-haired one who Axel saw over near the weight rack bows to him slightly. “Ranger Matsumura Riku. I pilot _Destiny_ with those two.” He points a thumb at Kairi and Sora much less politely. 

It makes Axel snort. “I don’t trust any of you, actually. I was a ranger - I know how this goes.” 

“You were a ranger?” Sora leans back, tugging Kairi forward. She exhales as she stretches, going closer to her ankles than Sora did. “Which Jaeger?”

Axel waves a hand back and forth in the air. “An old one, don’t worry about it.” It’s probably so much junk now, used as parts for other things. He sweeps the room again and spots another way too young kid warming up with one of the bo staffs. The blond doesn’t turn, focused on moving slowly through the motions of basic staff moves. He’s got good form, so at least none of them are _beginners._ He cannot be responsible for teaching these kids to survive. He looks back at the three who have introduced themselves. “Is this it?”

They shake their heads. Riku settles beside Kairi on the floor and starts stretching his legs out. He’s clearly flexible as he bends almost completely against his leg and grabs his foot. Sora, rapidly emerging as the friendliest, lets Kairi go and then starts stretching his arms out as he answers. “Aqua and Terra do their own training sessions with Vanitas and Ventus. They’re more senior than us. Isa and Xemnas almost never train, but Isa’s always running around the base doing important work. Xemnas is just smug.” 

“You’re so informal, Sora.” Xion has reappeared, arms folded across their chest. “You should at least call him Ranger Lunara.”

Sora sticks his tongue out. “But Xemnas is fine?”

“Xemnas can fuck off,” the blond shouts over. 

Never mind, these kids are his new favorites. Axel grins and tries to not let it be too obvious that it’s because they’re talking shit about Xemnas. He hasn’t even met the guy, but his attitude on camera...smug is right. “Good to know.”

“Geez,” Xion says, rolling their eyes. “That’s Roxas, my Jaeger partner and wannabe rebel. I’m sure he hasn’t introduced himself because he has no manners.”

“Wannabe?” Axel asks, still grinning.

Xion smiles up at him. “If you’re cis, you’re not a true rebel.”

Axel immediately holds a hand up. “Hell yeah.” It feels like a real victory when Xion laughs and high-fives him.

“Alright, that’s enough messing around. You all know the schedule!” It’s a commander’s bark and Axel straightens automatically. The black man walking toward them is as tall as Axel is with all of his hair twisted in locs that have been tied back into a ponytail. It only takes Axel a moment to remember him. He gives a sheepish smile as Dilan Umoya comes up to him and stops, shooting him a look. Dilan rolls his eyes and then looks at his rangers. “Alright, enough gossip. All of you get to it. I’ll be around in a minute to see how you’re doing.”

“Yes, sir,” they all reply with various levels of enthusiasm and formality.

Dilan waits for them all to move and then turns to Axel again. “Didn’t think I’d ever see you again, Avery.”

Axel shrugs. “I wasn’t planning on coming back. Marshal O’Donahue made a compelling argument that I just couldn’t refuse. I hope you can tolerate me.”

“They’re a handful, so I wish you luck with it,” Dilan says with a snort. “You’ll be working with these five the most. The others have a decent rhythm going. I might put you with them to shake things up a bit, but only once we’re confident these teams have their foundation set.”

“Still not sure how I’m the guy to ask about drift compatibility.” Axel scratches the back of his head. “Were the scores that good?”

Dilan studies him and then turns back to watching his students. Axel glances down at Dilan’s leg. The loose pants he has on don’t show anything, but there’s no denying the cane in the man’s hand. No pilot gets to Dilan’s age without some kind of incident. Dilan’s lucky to be alive, but Axel would throw himself at a Kaiju naked before daring to say so to the man’s face. “Don’t ask me. I was only ever good with one man, “ Dilan grumbles.

 _So was I. And he’s got someone better now, right?_ Axel sighs. “Guess I’ll figure something out. Marshal said you’d have a schedule for me?”

“Right.” Dilan shrugs. “Tomorrow you can start working with them. We figured you’d want the day to settle in. Report here in the morning and make sure you have breakfast before you get here. Really, hit the mess now and get something to eat before I send them that direction. They’ll eat whatever’s left, especially Halili.”

Axel gives him a little salute. “Sir, yes, sir,” he drawls. Dilan swings the cane at his shin and Axel dances a step back to avoid him. “Which way to the mess?”

* * *

The weird sort of familiarity and comfort continues through the Shatterdome. The mess is the same as any other: a long bar to get food from and as many tables and chairs crammed into the space as will fit. The only thing that’s different is the actual food. “Or maybe,” Axel mutters, staring down at the tray, “I just forgot that it was always this unappetizing to look at.”

It better be _filling_ if it’s going to look like this. He’s hungry, so he’s got to eat, but if it’s bad, he’s sneaking in at two am and making himself real food. With a shake of his head, Axel sets a bowl of what’s probably potatoes on his tray and moves down the bar. The mess isn’t empty and he quickly reaches two more people filling their own trays. He pauses, eyeing vegetables that look fresh. They better not be boiled; Axel scowls at them.

“-eed to stop calling him an idiot to his face!”

“Then he should stop being an idiot in front of me.”

“Junior! He’s going to snap one day and your blood will not be easy to clean off my clothes.”

 _What._ Axel looks at the two people beside him. A short, blonde young woman is pointing a pair of tongs at the dark-skinned, silver haired young man across the bar from her. They’re both wearing cleaner clothes than most anyone else who works here and Axel can’t help but arch an eyebrow. Neither of them notice him.

The man shrugs, putting a bowl of pudding on his tray. “If he gets in one good stab, maybe he’ll calm down. He knows the Marshal needs my information.”

“It’s cute that you think he thinks rationally while you’re antagonizing him.” She sighs and grabs a roll with her tongs. “I should have chosen a different department. I bet the sanitation guys have less murder threats on the regular.”

Axel coughs, but can’t quite cover his laugh. They both look at him and the girl goes red. “Well, they probably don’t,” she mutters.

“Any department without Even is a much more tolerable place. Where do you work?” The man points at Axel. “You’re new - I’d remember hair like that.”

He grins and flicks his head in the way he knows sends a ruffle through his hair. “It’s great hair, I know. I’m Axel.”

The man’s eyes light with recognition, but he just hums. “I’m Junior.”

“So I heard.” Axel looks at the young woman. “Which department should I be avoiding to keep a knife from my guts?”

She sighs and offers him a roll. “The science department, or what counts as one here.” She shoots Junior a look. “Really, you would be safe. _Someone_ regularly riles up Dr. Iskald. I’m Naminé. It’s nice to meet you, Axel.”

“Nice to meet you too. Dr. Iskald wouldn’t happen to be the expert on Kaiju guts, would he?” Axel lets her set the roll on his tray. “I heard about that from the Marshal. Sounds disgusting.”

Naminé cracks a smile. “It’s fine really, and he makes it interesting instead of gross. The things he’s learned from simple samples.” She shakes her head. “The problem is-.”

“That I’m smarter than him and he can’t stand it.” Junior smirks and picks his tray up. “It’s not my fault that I have to remind him that I’m why we can predict attacks and not him with his organs.”

“Junior,” Naminé says with a glare that is unsettlingly familiar to Axel, “I hate you.”

Junior shrugs and steps away. “I’ve lived my whole life being hated, I can handle it.”

“Drama queen,” Naminé mutters. She grabs pudding and then picks up her tray as well. “Would you like to eat with us?”

A quiet meal would have been nice, but sitting alone means anyone could come bother him. These two are at least involved in something interesting, information he should know now that he’s back on active duty of a sort. Axel nods. “Sure. You can tell me all about what you guys do. It’s been a while since I’ve been near any Kaiju bits, so I’d love to know more.”

Naminé smiles brightly at him. “Did you know we have a very reliable cure for the toxin now? It’s done wonders for those areas that keep getting targeted.” She continues talking as she leads him to the table Junior has taken a seat at. Naminé sits across from him despite her ‘hate’ and Axel debates before taking a spot beside her. 

Axel digs a spoon into the potatoes first, judging their consistency. Naminé starts eating, unconcerned or used to it, but Axel looks up to see Junior's bright silver eyes on him. “So, you can predict Kaiju attacks?” he asks before Junior can say anything.

“It’s math,” Junior says with a smug little smile. “With enough data, and we’ve got years of attacks now to use, you can calculate anything.”

There’s something familiar about that look… Axel’s eyes narrow. _He looks like Xemnas._ “Oh, yeah? When are you expecting the next one?”

Junior frowns. “A few days,” is his rather vague answer. “They use real potatoes for those, so they won’t dissolve your tongue or anything.”

 _That’s a dodge. But why?_ Axel looks back down at the potatoes. “Good to know that much. How much seasoning goes into them?” He takes a bite and, well, it’s not the _worst._ He manages not to make a face as he swallows. “Not much, great.”

“Do you cook, Axel?” Naminé is eating her pudding first like a smart person who knows that’s nearly impossible to fuck up.

“Yeah, all the time. I helped cook at several refugee centers before I got called back here.” Axel stirs the potatoes and looks down the table for salt and pepper. “Swear the food used to be better.”

Junior snorts. “It’s always been like this as long as I’ve been here.”

“You should simply be happy that your food isn’t poisoned,” Naminé says with a look. “Who knows what specimen Dr. Iskald is willing to slip you.”

Unconcerned about being poisoned with Kaiju parts apparently, Junior takes a big bite of his pasta. Axel snorts and grabs the salt shaker from a couple seats away. Nobody said that the people building giant robots to fight monsters were sane. “Anything else I need to know?”

* * *

The bed creaks when Axel sits, but is free of lumps when he flops down on his back. He folds his arms behind his head and sighs. There’s just enough room for him to stretch his legs out. Between that and some of the food being palatable, he can almost relax.

“What a fucking day,” he sighs.

It half feels like a dream. Is he really back in a Shatterdome? Is he really back among rangers and engineers and scientists, all of them trying desperately to stop monsters that crawl out of the depths of the sea without end? It feels different, younger faces in the training room, all of them crammed together here instead of spread across the coasts. They used to be a network, all of them working together across the world to try and stop this. Now, it’s just here, but it feels almost as dreamlike as it did the first time.

Axel lets his eyes drop closed. _Maybe I should have stayed. Would that have made a difference? Would there still be adults as pilots instead of these...kids? It should be us in their places. We should have figured this out five years ago._

If he could take their place now…

_The metal of their arm screeches as the beast’s teeth grind against it. A minute more of this level of pressure and it’ll be able to tear it right off. It’s now or never. If they don’t stop the damn thing, it’ll destroy the whole city, a force constantly moving as it wrecks everything in front of it. But right here, right now-._

_“We have to,” Isa says and presses the button._

It still leaves his chest tight. Axel tugs at his hair, pulling until it sends a dart of pain through his head. He rolls onto his side and stares at the mostly empty, metal-paneled wall. It’s better than the things his mind conjures when he closes his eyes.

No, he can’t take their place. He’s not enough, not anymore. _‘You weren’t good enough before.’_

Axel drags a hand down his face, then lets his arms dangle over the side of the bed. Exhaustion, physical or mental, drags at him. He’ll sleep tonight, but it won’t be restful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if you're here and unfamiliar with Pacific Rim, feel free to ask me any questions! Hell, ask me questions about anything. Including why the hell I decided to do an AU where I have to give everyone last names. That's taken more of my time than writing, I swear


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is Wednesday, my dudes. aaaaaAAAHHH-
> 
> I'm going to need to put a cast list with everybody's full names and roles somewhere eventually.

“This is slop.”

There’s no other word for the grey oatmeal he’s been given for breakfast this morning. Even his preferred type of toast and very good looking jam cannot save this sad presentation set before him. Axel sticks his spoon into the oatmeal, stirs it, and then lifts the spoon. The oatmeal slides off in a runny mess that makes him question the validity of all food ever.

Axel shoves the bowl as far across his tray as he can and tries not to think about cooking up a ton of actually _ good _ oatmeal for the camp. Elizabeth had a way with dry fruit and oats that made everything taste better than it should have been. Maybe he could fix the next batch so it’s edible… He stares toward the kitchen for a long moment. Pro: food that’s actually good. Con: there are likely people in there with knives who might take offence to his hostile takeover. Hm, he does prefer being the one with the knife. He picks up the sad little knife they gave him for the jam. Not enough, he’ll have to settle for what he’s got. “You are an insult,” he mutters at the slop bowl as he spreads jam on his toast.

“That’s hardly encouraging if we’re trying to keep you on,” someone says with a chuckle. Axel looks up and Aeleus smiles at him. Despite everything he probably dealt with upon getting back yesterday, he looks reasonably happy to be awake. His own tray is notably lacking oatmeal.

“I’m trying not to hold it against you. Your kitchen staff however…” Axel shoots the kitchen doors a look. 

Aeleus chuckles again. “They do what they can. I don’t think oatmeal is anyone’s forte.”

Axel sighs. “I would have preferred dumplings or pineapple bread, or did your white people complain?”

Aeleus, a very white Irish man, snorts. “We work with the supplies we’ve got and try not to take too much from the local populace. Oats keep.”

“Maybe I’ll take a second job in your kitchens to help out then. I can make something out of near-about nothing.” Axel takes a bite of toast and is glad that it tastes damn good. 

“Let’s focus on your first job for the time being. Report to the training room by nine-thirty. Dilan will be there and you can get started.” Aeleus easily transitions from fellow eater-of-food to Marshal and Axel’s spine straightens automatically. 

“Sir, yes, sir,” he says, managing to keep the slight sarcastic drawl mostly out of his voice. 

From Aeleus’s expression, he notices anyway. “Good day,  _ Ranger Avery _ .” It’s not bad for a return shot for his sass. Axel makes a face at his back anyway. He is  _ not _ a ranger, not a pilot, never again.

He takes another bite of his toast, watching Aeleus cross to another table. Dilan is already sitting there and looks up at him, saying something with a frown. Aeleus shakes his head and then sits, looking across the table. Another man is there, one with long blond hair and a severe face. He’s wearing a goddamn lab coat, so that has to be the infamous Dr. Iskald. Junior’s right, he does look kind of fun to wind up. Beside Dr. Iskald is a younger man, silver hair hanging over half his face that does nothing to hide the zombie expression he’s wearing. The cup in his hands is probably full of coffee and the only reason he’s sitting upright.

Shaking his head, Axel turns back to his tray. Well, he knew Dilan and Aeleus were practically married years ago. Good to know they’re still in this together, and have other people around on top of that.

* * *

Work suitable clothes were waiting outside his room this morning, so Axel backtracks to get changed before he heads for the training room. He’s still a good ten minutes early when he gets there, making it all the more surprising when he hears the unmistakable clack of wood hitting wood.

Two people are already in the room. They’re facing each other in the space made for partner sparring, a bo staff in each of their hands. They’re entirely focused, circling each other slowly. The man has a wider stance, one meant to keep him in place even as he blocks a hit or two. It would take a strong blow to force him back a step. His brown eyes are as steady as his stance, staring at his partner with a small smile on his face.

His partner, a woman that can’t be much younger than Axel and with bright blue hair, is almost the man’s opposite. All of her weight is on the balls of her feet and she’s all grace as she lunges forward and back. Their staves clack together again, her blow swinging in at his side in a blur. He blocks it perfectly, sliding his staff around to come at her with a blow from above. She twists to the side, her staff tapping his away.

It’s a dance. There’s no other way to describe it. They move differently, but they move together, responding to one another in a way that shows pure trust and understanding in one’s partner.

Axel leans against the doorway and bites back a sigh. It used to be like that for him.

_ Isa’s clear teal gaze is fixed on him, his staff resting at his side. Axel twirls his around his hands, teasing him. When will the blow come? Where will it come from? He spins the staff around his back, just because he can, and because he knows what comes next. _

_ The staff is just swapping between his hands when Isa lunges forward. Axel twists and Isa’s staff goes past his cheek. His own swings low and then up. Isa is already responding, his staff dropping past Axel’s shoulder to catch the wood coming for his side. _

_ The clack of wood is loud, the blows hard, and they grin at each other as their staves disconnect. Disconnect, reconnect, over and over in a way that feels like so much more than a simple spar. They know each other, know their breaths, know their movements, and this is why they can do what others cannot. _

_ Isa flips his grip on his staff and they both swing again. _

It used to be so damn easy. Being together, that was easy, that was where he belonged. It was the war that ruined things - the war and his own weakness. Axel closes his eyes, but the clack of wood echoes in his mind.  _ If he could go back to those days-. _

“God, Aqua, do you have to top him in public? We all know already!”

Axel’s eyes snap open at the surprisingly harsh voice. Someone else is in the training room, a boy with spiky black hair, pale skin, and a smirk on his face. He’s leaning against the rails meant for flexibility training, not far from the sparring area.

The woman, Aqua apparently, pivots on the ball of her foot. The bo staff shifts in her hand and she throws it like a javelin, right at the boy. Axel has a moment to think _ ‘Why does the day start with murder?’ _ and then the boy catches the staff from the air. He spins it around his hand and then tosses it back to her. Aqua does not look impressed, even as she grabs it. “Do you need something, Vanitas?”

He opens his mouth, but someone talks over him. “I think he needs to go run a mile or two.” Dilan walks over to him, squinting. “Since you have the breath to make comments, Ranger Jourdain, get to it. Your partner will join you when he gets here.”

Vanitas rolls his eyes, but goes. The whirr of the treadmill turning on chases the last echo of wood clacking from Axel’s mind and he steps into the room. He walks over to Dilan, nodding to him. “Is that a regular occurrence?”

“They don’t get along,” Dilan says with an eye roll. “Jourdain winds her up and he’s the only one she really loses her temper to. They haven’t actually killed each other yet, but you won’t see the two of them sparring unless I’m trying to get enough blood on something that it has to be replaced.”

“Your first mistake is thinking that Vanitas bleeds like a normal person,” someone says from behind them. Axel turns and blinks at someone who looks just like Roxas except with a scar that splits his eyebrow and runs into his hairline. He offers a hand. “Hi, I’m Ranger Ventus Verville, but you can call me Ven!”

Axel takes the hand with a grin. “Axel Avery. Nice to meet you, Ven. Roxas’s older brother?”

“Yep. Welcome back, Ranger.” Ven’s grin is cheeky and Axel’s expression twitches before he keeps the smile on. “Not that we were fully realized pilots when you retired, but-.”

“This is training time, Verville, not history time.” Dilan points at the treadmills. “Go warm-up.”

Ven shakes his head. “I was introducing myself, sir. And explaining that while Vanitas may appear human, he’s actually a creature most foul from the depths below. You’ll never see him bleed.” He shoves his hands behind his head. “Also, Aqua could totally kick his ass.”

“ _ Go _ , Verville, before I make you and your partner do everything with your hands tied together again.” Dilan taps his cane against Ven’s legs, urging him to move.

“Yes, sir.” Ven snaps a salute and moves, waving to Axel. “Good luck with Roxas, see you later!”

Axel waits for him to reach the treadmills, turning on the one beside Vanitas. Ven hops on, making some comment at Vanitas with a smirk. Vanitas flips him off and Ven sticks his tongue out at him. Somehow he doesn’t bite himself as he starts running. 

“So, they’re that kind of partners.”

Dilan mutters something under his breath and then says, “Yes, the pain in the ass kind. No idea why they drift so well when they’re constantly arguing with each other about everything under the goddamn sun.” He leans on his cane and motions toward the sparring area. “Ignore them for now. I was wondering if you’d be up for a spar with one of them. I’d like to know what kind of shape you’re in after fucking off for years.”

He should have expected this. Axel glances at the two who were sparring. They’re both looking at him now and he waves. The man steps forward and offers him a hand. Axel takes it. “I didn’t want to interrupt you two. I’m Axel, the new trainer for the kids.”

“I’m Terra Bose and this is Lai Aqua, my partner.” Terra smiles at him and his grip is firm. Aqua takes his hand next and her grip is almost harder. Her smile isn’t quite as warm, but it’s friendly enough. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Axel,” she says. “I apologize for Vanitas. He has no manners at all.”

Axel laughs. “It’s fine. I’ve heard worse from kids younger than him. It sucks that he interrupted you two. You had a good thing going - I could tell you were partners right away”

They both smile at him and then at each other. Aqua brushes her bangs from her face. “Thank you.”

Dilan clears his throat. “Well?”

“If Aqua’s up for it, I’d be glad for a spar with her. I promise I didn’t forget  _ everything _ while I was gone.” Axel grins at him and Dilan shakes his head. “Give me a minute to stretch.”

“Of course.” Aqua nods and moves toward one of the benches against the wall. She sits, sipping from a water bottle, but Axel can see her glance over at him - sizing him up probably. That’s fine, he already did it to both of them. It’s why he knew to pick her in the first place.

Axel finds a clear bit of floor and starts stretching his arms and legs out. It’s been a while since he’s done any sort of sparring. Staying in shape is one thing, fighting someone, even as a practice bout, is another. He does  _ not _ want to pull a muscle or worse because he’s not as used to the motions anymore. He doesn’t even really want to do this, but Dilan has a point. How can the man trust him to train his rangers if he doesn’t know that Axel’s in any kind of good shape? Aeleus might trust him, but Dilan has every right to test him and make sure. These are  _ his _ rangers - he trains them to go out there and fight monsters. If they don’t come back…

He’s not thinking about that right now. If,  _ when _ he has to face the prospect of lost Jaegers, of lost pilots, he’ll face it. But until then, denial is a fun fucking place to stay.

He’s feeling more limber when he rolls himself back up onto his feet and shakes his arms out. A number of staves are in a stand near the wall and Axel picks up a couple before he finds one that feels about right in his hands. Balance and weight are important things for a comfortable bout and he gives it a couple spins over his hands and a few strikes in the air before he decides to stick with it.

Aqua’s waiting in the sparring area, her staff back in her hands. Terra has moved to Dilan’s side, the best vantage point for a bout. It looks like the other two are still running, so this is it as far as an audience goes. Axel takes the spot across from Aqua and they both bow to each other. When they straighten, Aqua settles into a ready pose, her staff at her side and her balance back on the balls of her feet. The friendliness of her face is gone, replaced by the stern face of a seasoned Jaeger pilot.

There’s a reason he asked her instead of Terra: Aqua’s movements are nothing like Isa’s. There won’t be any flashes of memory to be had as they spar. It’s a completely new challenge and if he has to do it, Axel would rather it be something almost untainted by the past.

He spins his staff and then settles it over his shoulder. They eye each other, both waiting to see who moves first. Axel is content to wait, to see how it feels to fight someone that moves in a way more similar to him. After a moment, Aqua decides to take the initiative. She moves to the side first, then lunges in, her staff extended and aiming for his side. She’s being fair, giving him time to react and get a feel for her blows.

Axel turns, dancing back a step and away from her strike. He taps her staff as he goes - not a real block, but acknowledgement of her attack. Aqua smiles slightly and quickly closes the gap, coming at him again. She keeps her staff at her side, his turn to make a move. Axel does, bringing his staff down from his shoulder in a low arc that he then twists up. He aims for her front, a blow that would smack her in the stomach if it landed.

It doesn’t, of course. Aqua crosses her body with her staff, meeting his blow, and then swings the staff forward. He swings his up, blocking her from hitting his head, and then takes several steps backward. She doesn’t follow, both of them catching their breath and eyeing each other. She’s faster than he thought, faster than him probably, so he’s going to have to work for any kind of advantage.

_ Not a bad challenge. _ Axel smiles at her and then takes several quick steps forward, eyes on her staff and her core. Her muscles tense, but she doesn’t back away. Axel swings his staff toward her legs, working on the assumption that she’ll expect a blow to her side.

Her staff blocks his with a clack, and then the other end taps him in the sternum. Aqua smiles at him and then twists away to open space. Axel doesn’t give her the time she probably expects - he follows and manages a quick tap to one of her shoulder blades before she manages to face him again.

“Oh, I see,” she mutters. Axel can’t help a wide grin.

The next couple exchanges are quick, the two of them matching strikes and blocks with fluid motions. Axel tries to throw her off-rhythm several times with feints, but Aqua always sees his real hits just before he might land them. She’s got a few tricks up her sleeves as well - she goddamn flips away from one of his strikes and manages to get him in the back with her own. He shouldn’t be bothered by it - she’s been training actively while he’s been elsewhere. But it stings his pride.

They’ve done more than enough to show that they’re both in shape, but now Axel’s blood is up. Dilan will call the bout soon, but dammit, he wants one more strike in. Aqua is waiting across the square from him, both of them breathing hard. Axel leans forward slightly, exaggerating how spent he feels. Aqua arches an eyebrow and straightens, her staff relaxed at her side. 

_Go._ Axel lunges forward. Aqua huffs out her next breath and goes to step aside from his charge, but his staff is already placed. She trips over his staff, landing on her hands and knees. _Got you!_ _Blue hair waves softly in the air and if he gets the win, then he gets the kiss that comes with it._ Axel brings his staff down on her shoulder, but the smack is much louder than he expected and Aqua hisses in pain.

“Shit, sorry!” Axel drops the staff to the side and bends down to offer her a hand. “I should have let it go. Sorry about that.”

Aqua eyes him, rubbing at her shoulder, but does take his hand. He helps her up and then they bow to each other. Aqua straightens and moves away immediately, but he can hardly blame her. For a practice bout, he smacked the shit out of her. Her skin only looks red, but if it turns into a nasty bruise... Axel pushes his hair back from his face. Yeah, he owes her something as an apology.  _ Guess I am sneaking into the kitchen today. _

“Nice work, Avery.” Dilan’s voice breaks into his reverie. It’s hard to say if he’s being at all sarcastic. “Cool down while we get her an ice pack for that hit.” It almost looks like Dilan’s smiling a bit, but he turns away before Axel can see for certain. He bows again anyway and then moves out of the square.

He didn’t notice anyone else arrive, but the kids from yesterday are all here. Under Dilan’s eye they move away from where they’ve been watching, but it’s clear that he and Aqua were the center of attention. With a sigh, Axel drops onto an empty bench.  _ Great impression to make. _ If he hadn’t gotten so stuck on the idea of  _ winning _ like it was the old days…

A water bottle drops into his view and Axel almost smacks it away before he processes the hand offering it. He takes it and arches an eyebrow at the man standing there and grinning at him. As he takes a drink, the man actually claps a couple times. “You certainly don’t look like you left years ago.”

“I’ve always had a talent for keeping people from knocking my head off my shoulders,” Axel replies. “Who’re you?”

The man swings an arm in front of his chest and then bows like he’s a ringmaster beginning a show. He straightens back up, still with that grin, and offers Axel his hand. “Ansem Conli, fellow trainer of rangers and most attractive man alive.”

“They still hold a vote for that?” Axel shakes his hand. “Axel Avery, if Dilan didn’t tell you already.”

“Oh, I’ve heard all about you.” Ansem leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. Dressed only in a black tank top, the motion does very well at showing off his arm muscles. Axel eyes them and when he looks at Ansem’s face, he’s clearly noticed. He flexes slightly and winks. Axel rolls his eyes, but it doesn’t stop him from smiling. He takes another drink, because clearly he’s more than a bit thirsty.

Ansem smirks as he continues, “I’ve heard about you for years though - Xemnas is my brother.”

_ How many of them are there? _ “Junior’s too, right?”

“Ah, you met him? Yeah, we’re all brothers, but I’m Xemnas’s older twin.” Ansem clearly thinks this is important, but Axel almost rolls his eyes. “The better looking one part is obvious.”

“Oh, of course,” Axel says flatly. “I’m surprised he didn’t partner with you then. Brothers are supposed to be a pretty steady thing.” Then again, Ven and Roxas aren’t partners either. Hm. “You not interested in being a pilot?”

Ansem shakes his head. “I gave it a shot, especially when Xemnas was a strong candidate, but that shit just wasn’t for me.” He taps his temple. “You’d think we’d be used to it, being twins and growing up together, but...it was different from anything you can expect.”

Axel leans forward, resting his elbows on his legs. “Yeah, there’s nothing that prepares you for that. Even the sims aren’t the same as the full thing.”

“It felt like I was losing myself. I gave it three tries, but I couldn’t do it.” Ansem shrugs. “No harm done. Xemnas found a partner and I’m more helpful here.” He shoots Axel a look from the corner of his eyes. “Lucky timing that Lunara needed somebody just when Xemnas was ready to pilot.”

“Yep,” Axel says, “lucky. I’m glad they work well together.” He  _ is _ , he is glad. Isa needed somebody who could support him, could be there when Axel crumbled. 

“Not that they hit the same consistent shit you pulled with him, but they’re up there.” Ansem flicks something off his arm and then leans down, closer to Axel. “You and I could give it a go. See how... _ compatible _ we are.” His voice curls around the word.

It’s easier to think about than when he and Isa were at the top of the world. Axel arches an eyebrow and then stands. “I think we’re both good without that sort of thing. I like testing the waters with dinner or something first.”

Ansem noticeably looks him over and then winks at him again. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Since we’re both here to train a bunch of teenagers, I’m not saying anything else.” Axel taps the water bottle against his shoulder and then nods to Ansem. “I better go see what the job part of things is about.”

“That’s all Dilan. I don’t train a trainer.” Ansem flicks his fingers Dilan’s direction and pushes off the wall. “See you around, Axel.” He saunters off, probably trying to get Axel to look at him as he does it.

Axel rolls his eyes, but it puts him in a better mood. Not everything has to be about the past and not everything has to be serious. It’s been a while since he simply appreciated a man putting himself on display. “No time for that,” he mutters to himself. “Do the work and get back to where you belong.”

He walks toward Dilan, pushing everything but work from his mind.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's tour time, baby!
> 
> If you're unfamiliar with Pacific Rim as a movie, I highly recommend [this clip here](https://youtu.be/csJ-jfhR_qs?t=59) to get a sense of the scale of a Jaeger hanger and the launch bays!

It turns out that Dilan’s regular training schedule is mostly made up of a morning of workouts and drift sims. The veteran pilots focus on working out, so Axel mostly hangs by the simulator to see results and watch the kids. He should probably stop calling them kids, but _hell_ , they’re so young. While cooling down from a workout and waiting for a sim run, Sora tells him all about himself and the other new pilots.

Sora, Kairi, and Riku all joined together after an attack hit the city they were living in. They were sixteen at the time, joined the training program at seventeen, and they all officially graduated to pilots at eighteen. “We wouldn’t have gotten the rank so early, except we’re pretty good at working together.”

Axel is ten goddamn years older than them, but they’ve seen almost as much of the war as he has. Axel tries not to think about it as he asks Sora about how it works as a three-man team. Sora starts to explain, but it quickly becomes clear that neither of them are technical experts. Sora seems to process the drift almost entirely as feelings and emotions - Axel’s got no idea if that’s helping him or harming him. Maybe he needs to track down one of the engineers that manages _Destiny_ and get it explained in a way he can understand.

Comparing sim scores, it’s clear that however it works, Sora and his partners have something they’re close to solidifying. Roxas and Xion, however, seem to be having an issue. Squinting at the numbers, Axel follows the line of their sync, dipping in strange spots. Something is causing them to de-sync and with this much of an issue, it’s not safe for them to engage in combat. 

“You can watch their simulations if you want. Recordings are on the computer in there.” Dilan gestures to the small office set to the side of the training room. He’s leaning more heavily on his cane than Axel’s seen so far. Probably because he stepped in to bring Ventus and Vanitas back together during a spar where they both got...excited.

“Thanks.” Axel scratches the back of his neck. “It seems like there’s a specific cause. I hope it’s one I can sort out.”

Dilan shrugs. “If you can’t find it on your own, let me look. Might be something you haven’t seen in a few years.”

The ‘ _since you’ve been gone_ ’ isn’t well hidden. Axel presses his lips together and then grins. “Sure. Anything else I should know before I get to it?”

“Yes,” Dilan says shortly. He puts a hand to Axel’s shoulder and pushes him away from the office. “Go get lunch. You can review it once you’ve eaten. Hell, take a rest hour after you eat. They’ll all be in the hanger, going over their Jaegers with one eye on the clock.”

Right, Junior’s vague ‘ _couple days’_ away attack. Axel nods and offers Dilan the papers. “I’ll be back in a bit then. I don’t want to look like a complete idiot when you hand them over to me and expect me to fix any issues.”

Dilan snorts. “You can’t help yourself sometimes, Avery.”

Axel grins at him. “I said _complete_. I know my faults.”

“Go, boy, before they’re out of anything edible.” Dilan shoos him off with the papers and turns toward the office. Hopefully, he rests his leg for a few minutes. Axel thinks that might be less likely than food he actually wants to eat being served.

Messing up the back of his hair with a hand, Axel leaves with too many thoughts spinning in his mind.

* * *

Surprisingly, lunch is actually quite good. Axel has almost no complaints - his only mistake was believing Sora when he said the sauce on the table was ‘mild.’ Kid must drink lava on the regular, because Axel’s mouth is still smarting. 

He didn’t see Dilan, Aeleus, or Isa in the dining hall and he’s counting his lucky stars. Considering the last time he saw Isa, having food around would make it much more tempting to throw something at him when his comments crossed a line. Sad to say that he’d still like to see Isa without speaking to him.

“Maybe I should take Ansem to dinner if I’m that pathetic,” Axel mutters. He looks both directions down the hall and debates. Dilan said to take a break and he could go nap, or he could walk around the Shatterdome and get more of his bearings. It’d be nice to be able to wander without getting himself so lost that he dies in an abandoned corridor.

And if he gets himself lost today, well people will look for him to help him get unlost. Incredible plan really. Axel shoves his hands into his pockets, turns away from the direction he knows and starts ambling. The halls don’t provide a lot to look at: metal panels, lights buzzing overhead with emergency lights a dull orange glow under that. Still, it feels good to move.

Axel takes a right turn at the first intersection he reaches - people are this direction so it’s less likely to be abandoned. He steps closer to the wall as someone pushes a large cart loaded with machine parts past him. Hm, he could check the hanger...but maybe not. He hasn’t seen a Jaeger up close in years and he’s not sure it’s a good idea to try now. _You won't get to avoid them for much longer._ Maybe he should just bite the bullet and go.

“Oh, Axel, hello!” Naminé appears from around a blind corner, waving to him. Beside her is the exhausted, silver-haired young man that was at the Marshal’s table at breakfast. He looks much more awake now, looking up at Axel.

Axel lifts a hand so she knows he sees her and stays against the wall as they come closer. He puts his hands in his pockets and smiles. “Hey, what’s up?” 

“Are you on break?” Naminé pushes a few pieces of her hair that have escaped her low ponytail out of her face. “We were just heading to the hanger. Have you been yet?”

“No, I haven’t, but I don’t want to get under foot.” Maybe Naminé is actually a mind reader and could feel him debating it.

“Actually,” the young man says, “as a trainer, you could give us valuable information.” He offers Axel a hand. “I’m Ienzo. I work in the science department with Naminé, but I often work with our engineers to improve the Jaeger specs for the pilots.”

Axel takes his hand, eyebrows up. “That’s impressive. You geniuses make me feel twice as old.”

Ienzo rolls his visible eye. “Please. Not all of us like to brag about our abilities like Junior.”

“Or Dr. Iskald,” Naminé says quietly. Ienzo looks at her and she smiles ever so politely. “But he’s right, Axel. You could assist us. You spent the morning with the rangers, right?”

“Uh, yeah. I can’t say I can offer much yet. I have some things to review actually…” Axel points the direction he was walking away from.

Ienzo waves a hand through the air. “Well then, we can offer _you_ good information. While you’re working on training them for the drift, it’d be helpful to know what they’re working with. You can hardly teach them about that when you don’t even know what their Jaegers look like.”

_Pretty sure I can._ Axel bites the snarky remark back. Ienzo might be a bit snide, but there is some truth to what he’s saying. Axel sighs. “Guess it’s better to go with an escort than wander in on my own.”

“You can’t get more official than Ienzo,” Naminé promises. “Some of them are truly beautiful too.”

Ienzo smiles. “Who doesn’t want to see the giant robots we send out to fight monsters? You haven’t seen any of the models since you were a pilot anyway. There have been a number of improvements.” He turns and starts to lead the way. 

Axel sighs again, but he can’t deny the tug at his chest. The sight of a Jaeger always was incredible. Tons of machinery looming large over everything and knowing that they’d be inside, that they’d be driving it… He follows after Ienzo, Naminé at his side.

Another turn and they’re in a much wider hallway. They stick to the wall, out of the way of any of the vehicles hauling supplies in and out of the hanger. The doors loom large ahead of them, open for the river of people constantly moving in and out. Beyond, Axel gets the impression of a lot of lights and noise. Before they step through, he takes a deep breath and holds it.

Ienzo looks over his shoulder at him with a smile. “Welcome to the launch bay.”

Axel exhales as he looks up. Already he can see the towering forms of two of the Jaegers. Crews move around them, on the ground and on the scaffolding. Sparks flash from welding torches and voices shout all around. It’s overwhelming in its intensity, but all of Axel’s focus is on the massive machines.

The closest is a bright blue, the color of a summer sky. All smooth plates and with three arms hanging loose at its sides, it has to be one of the newest builds. If he had to guess… Axel looks at the two waiting for him to say something. “Alright, show me everything. That’s _Destiny_ , isn’t it?”

Naminé nods. “Yes! She’s only been in full combat once, but isn’t she beautiful?”

“Naminé may have assisted with the flourishes in the paint job,” Ienzo says with good humor. He moves toward the Jaeger, waving them after him. “ _Destiny’s Guard_ was finished about eight months ago. She features our updated three-way neural handshake system where primary guidance can be shifted between any pilot. If one of her Rangers is knocked out, she can continue to function under the power of two as with any standard drift set-up.”

Ienzo continues to talk about how they built _Destiny_ from the ground up with three pilots in mind. Axel is listening, but most of the technical specs always went over his head. He didn’t need to know all the nitty-gritty to make sure the thing moved. He crosses his arms and looks up at her. _Destiny_ is built along very smooth lines, her parts made to slide over and under each other fluidly. There’s a level of flexibility to the design that is honestly quite impressive. It looks like a Jaeger that could _dance._ This close, he can see that a line of bright yellow stars has been added over a left chest panel.

Axel looks at Naminé. “Are those your work?”

She flushes. “They are. I’m not very familiar with the spray guns, but they wanted the paopus on there, so I worked at it until I got them perfect.”

“They look nice.” He has no idea what a paopu is. They’re right over _Destiny’s_ heart - he can understand that without knowing the specifics. “Did you do any of the others?”

“Well, Roxas and Xion want something to christen theirs but they haven’t decided yet.” Naminé points at the Jaeger in the next bay. “ _End of Oblivion_ is theirs.”

Axel looks that direction and then whistles, impressed. Almost in direct contrast to _Destiny’s_ smooth lines and bright cheerful blue, _Oblivion_ is mostly jet black and built like a tank. Very hard shapes make up her body - she’s a Jaeger that could hold a Kaiju in one arm and slam it with the other. Gold and red accents give the whole thing the feeling of a legendary warrior rising from the night, the rising sun gilding the edges of their armor.

They stop in front of _Oblivion_ and Axel can admit that if his old Jaeger got junked to build this beauty, there’s not much to complain about. “Why do they get the tank?”

Ienzo has pulled a tablet from the stack of things under his arm and flicks through blueprints and diagrams. “ _Oblivion_ was originally designed for an older pair of Rangers, but they retired. Roxas and Xion’s original assessments showed that they should be able to manage despite their smaller stature. When we tweaked the simulations to match this style of Jaeger, they adjusted quickly to the movement and fighting style. We’re very interested to see it in full combat.” He shoots Axel a look.

Axel shrugs. “I told you, I’m working on it. Give a guy a break on his first day.”

Naminé laughs and Ienzo breaks into a begrudging smile. “I suppose you’re right. I would like to see the fruits of every team’s labor as soon as possible, but responsibility and caution are the best thing in this situation. Any questions about _Oblivion_? I can have her schematics and specs sent to you for review.”

“Yeah, I’d like an overview. I’m mostly working on their drift compatibility, but it helps to know how to center them.”

“Indeed.” Ienzo taps something into the tablet. “Who’s next?”

Naminé points across the hanger to another bay. “Our older Jaegers. Have you seen any of them, Axel? One of them is from your days.”

Axel arches an eyebrow. He shouldn’t be surprised that she’s found out he used to be an active Ranger. “Really? Which one?”

“ _Wayward Soul_ is a Mark-1 that we redid several systems of. It has an updated weapons system and uses our more modern drivesuits, but much of it remains the same from when it’s built.” Ienzo taps a finger against his cheek as they move toward it. “We thought about entirely redoing the drift systems to update them, but Ven and Vanitas maintain a high enough sync that we only need be concerned about their well-being if they are in combat for more than a few hours.”

They put two of the younger pilots in a fucking Mark-1? He didn’t think things were that bad. “Didn’t they struggle going from the sims to that?”

Naminé shakes her head. “It was surprising. They actually seemed to have an easier time drifting in the Jaeger than in the sims. Though maybe that’s because they can’t punch each other while up there.”

Ienzo snorts and tries to hide it with a cough. Axel grins. From what he’s seen, Naminé’s definitely not wrong.

_Wayward Soul_ doesn’t look like one of the old Mark-1’s, hastily thrown together in a desperate bid to have something, anything to stop the monsters. It’s smaller than both _Oblivion_ and _Destiny_ , clearly built for speed more than anything. Hopefully, it can still hit pretty hard. Axel squints up at it. “Are those fresh welds?” Several bright silver lines are marked into the green and gold panels, a sure sign of recent work.

Both of his companions sigh, but it’s Naminé that answers. “Ven and Vanitas are _not_ defensive while fighting the Kaiju. They almost always need repairs in the body plates after a fight.”

“ _Wayward_ is built for speed, but they both run more than a bit reckless while piloting,” Ienzo says, rubbing one of his temples. “That’s one system we’ve updated extensively - she has several engines in her limbs to provide quick boosts of motion. I think it’s the only Jaeger I’ve ever seen jump.”

Literal tons of metal is not meant to jump. Axel shakes his head slowly. “Holy shit.”

“Yes,” Ienzo says, “basically.” He moves further into the hanger and to the next Jaeger launch bay. “ _Glorious Tsunami_ is a more traditional Jaeger. All the joints have more than 270 degrees of motion available, but you won’t see it leaping into the air on the regular. We based much of _Destiny’s_ flexible structure on _Tsunami’s_ original design.”

“Yeah, I see that.”

A very sturdy, solid set of legs supports a much more streamlined upper body on _Tsunami_ . The circular joints are incredibly polished - probably the first thing that gets serviced and the last thing to be approved before the Jaeger goes out. Her purple color and the dual horns on either side of the head give her a royal look. _Tsunami_ is a queen drawn from her castle to do battle with those that dare challenge her throne.

_Look who’s turned into a poet._ Axel scratches his head, messes up his hair, and then smiles at Naminé and Ienzo. “They’re all pretty gorgeous. I’m impressed.”

Naminé glances at Ienzo, a strange expression on her face, but Ienzo is grinning at Axel. “You haven’t seen _Ethereal_ yet.”

“Like she’s not on the news every other week,” Axel says, forcing some humor into his voice. He doesn’t need to see _Ethereal_ . He will have nothing to do with her rangers and as much as he’s happy Isa has a real partner now, he doesn’t need to have his nose rubbed in just how _good_ things are now without him.

“ _Ethereal Superior_ is our primary Jaeger. She might be a Mark-4, but she’s constantly being improved. Mostly thanks to Xemnas constantly sticking his nose into the engineering department…” Ienzo trails off and then shakes his head. “Fine, fine, if you don’t want to see her, we’ll have to show you something else.” He meets Naminé’s gaze and now she grins.

She turns to Axel and grabs one of his hands with both of hers. “Come on. This will be a treat!”

“Shit, you guys scraping together another Mark-5 secretly? Can’t believe I get to see it.” Axel lets her tug him along for a few steps and then gently pulls his hand away. Naminé doesn’t seem bothered - she continues walking, a bounce in her step. Ienzo follows behind the two of them.

Naminé leads him around _Tsunami’s_ launch bay, back toward one the solid walls of the Shatterdome. Scaffolding and piles of supplies rise above their heads. Axel counts himself lucky that he’s never been claustrophobic. They have to duck slightly to pass through a damn tunnel under several large heavy metal beams, but then Naminé pivots on the ball of her foot and holds a hand up above her head. 

“Tada,” she says softly, watching his face.

Axel looks up slowly and sucks in a breath hard. It makes his chest ache, or maybe it’s the simple sight of _Eclipse_ standing mostly whole against the wall. No power is running through her, no lights brighten her conn-pod and there is no hiss of steam escaping as her limbs shift. She’s lifeless, slumped forward slightly against the frame built around her.

Somehow, despite the years, despite _everything_ , his Jaeger is still in one piece. If he spoke the words, she could be awoken. Someone found her more valuable as she is, instead of for her parts.

“ _Heliacal Eclipse_ , the star hidden by the sun,” Ienzo says softly. Axel is unable to tear his eyes away, to look at anything but her. “A Mark-3, nuclear powered and configured for quick, brutal exchanges with the Kaiju. She used to be one of the quickest there was, her arms double-plated for protection and combat, but with-.”

“With a series of sharp blades hidden between the plates. Sharp enough to cut through meters of flesh in seconds,” Axel finishes. “Yeah. What is she doing here?” His footsteps are too loud in this quiet corner, but he’s drawn forward. Maybe if he touches her, she’ll vanish like a ghost in his dreams.

He brushes his fingers over the cold metal of one of her feet, watching the dust float in the air. Is it like this inside? Would everything still be the same as that last run? Would he find ghosts inside her - a last haunting of the man he tried so desperately to be?

“It’s always good to have a backup,” Ienzo says, not unkindly. “After you departed, _Eclipse_ could still be used. Once a replacement ranger was found…”

He doesn’t remember the news from that first year. Did Xemnas climb into his old place? Maybe he swept aside any image of Axel and showed Isa what a real partner could be. Then, when they had something better, he pulled Isa out of the past. “It’s what he deserves,” Axel murmurs. “It still hurts to be left behind, doesn’t it? Even when you know they have something better than you.”

_Eclipse_ doesn’t understand, she’s a dead machine. It was the two of them that gave her life, that gave her purpose, and they both moved on without her.

Axel closes his eyes. “I thought with _Ethereal_ , she’d have been taken apart for parts.”

“Only irreparably damaged Jaegers are scrapped. We need them too much to do it to one that still functions.” Ienzo’s voice is professional, stoic almost.

_Is that what I am? Someone that still functions, even if my original purpose is lost?_ Now he’s being too dramatic even for him. Axel shakes his head and carefully pulls his hand from her. “Guess so,” he says quietly. He stares up at her, a giant slumbering, and his eyes trace the familiar shapes.

All Jaegers are massive, but this close she towers. The familiar dark blue paint is faded and broken in some spots, the bright white accents even more scuffed. The doubled plates on her arms and her legs are still a solid black, but he can’t see the slits that hid the blades from this angle, so he can only wonder if the flames he had them paint are still there.

Axel takes a breath, then another. His chest aches and he takes a step back, turning away again. “It’s...good to know that she’s still here.”

They’re looking at him, he knows they are, but he doesn’t have words for these strangers who only know the stories. Axel doesn’t meet their eyes. “Think I need a break. I’ll get back to you later, Ienzo, if I think of anything that could help them in _Oblivion_.”

“Of course. Enjoy your break, Axel.”

Axel nods and walks away, knowing that his break will be nothing but another walk through the past.

_"What will we call her?”_

_“Our Jaeger?”_

_“No, our firstborn. Yes, Axel, our Jaeger. I was trying to think of a good name.”_

_“Hmm, I don’t know. It has to sound badass. Like...oh hey, do you remember the day we decided to sign up for the program?”_

_“It’s rather hard to forget the day that led us here.”_

_“Yeah, yeah, smartass. You remember, right?”_

_“Of course. It’s hard to forget the day of a solar eclipse.”_

_“Maybe we should do that! What’s more badass than an eclipse?”_

_“An eclipse...I like it.”_

_And Isa’s smile had shined brighter than the sun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, we've met the teams and almost all of the Jaegers now so have a list!
> 
> _Destiny’s Guard_ \- Sora Halili, Riku Matsumura, Kairi Vidales  
>  _End of Oblivion_ \- Roxas Verville, Xion Mochizuki  
>  _Wayward Soul_ \- Ventus Verville, Vanitas Jourdain  
>  _Glorious Tsunami_ \- Aqua Lai, Terra Bose  
>  _Ethereal Superior_ \- Xemnas Conli, Isa Lunara  
>  _Heliacal Eclipse_ \- Isa Lunara, Axel Avery


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for continuing to read this fic! I love working on it and it feels really really good to have gotten 6 chapters out on a weekly basis! Camp NaNo really got me buckling down for once lol
> 
> But, of course, Camp NaNo is not forever and we're finally basically caught up to what I've managed to get written out so far. Updates will continue but not on a weekly basis unless I get quite ahead again.
> 
> Again, thanks for reading and BIG THANKS to everyone who leaves kudos and comments <3

Axel is staring toward the kitchen again. This is the second time in as many days that Isa has seen him doing it and he knows almost precisely what Axel is thinking. He had better not try it - Isa is trying to eat and does not have the minutes to spare to drag Axel out of the kitchen and teach him how to act like an adult. He narrows his eyes as Axel continues to look that way, fingers unconsciously clenching around his fork. Then, with a sigh, Axel looks back down at his food.

Good. Isa swirls what’s left of his pasta together and takes several quick bites. He’s not particularly hungry, but the schedule today is a busy one and he needs to have the energy to keep going until late. Axel being here...well, that’s caused him more than enough distraction. He has work to focus on, all kinds of work, and Axel and his _issues_ can do just as he said and stay out of it.

 _Other people. He came back for other people. Not you, you were never worth staying for. _ His fingers go white as he squeezes the fork. He drops it, grabs his tray, and stands up. That’s enough then. He has a meeting to get to and it’s much more important than Axel Avery being around again for _other people_.

Isa clears his tray into the bins and then adds it to the stack of dirty ones. He reaches up, tightens his ponytail, and then leaves. He doesn’t look back to see if Axel notices. There’s no reason to think the man cares what Isa is doing, that he would even want to continue their last conversation. Not that it was much of one; Axel just wanted to deflect every one of Isa’s feelings on the matter.

 _Focus._ Isa pauses in the hall and presses his fingers to his temples. Anything not to be focused on right now needs to be pushed back. _Compartmentalize, just like you do for the handshake. You have too much to do to linger on this._ He inhales slowly, counting, and then exhales to the same count. Three times over and he feels more centered. He resumes his walk, his boot heels clicking over the cement floor.

A quick check of his watch tells him he’s right on time as he turns down the hall that leads to the K-Science lab. It doesn’t stop him from walking that distance just a bit faster. He pushes the door open, already preparing to apologize for holding anyone up, but is spared as he takes in the faces already present.

Even is busy washing his hands at the corner sink, speaking quietly to Naminé. She’s dutifully labeling jarred specimens, no doubt freshly dissected ones. Isa makes a face and moves to take a seat in one of the folding chairs set out by Junior’s workstation. Junior himself is tapping things into his computer with a frown. Isa clears his throat and gets a quick flick of Junior’s eyes to him before they return to his display. “What.”

“Good afternoon to you too.” Isa rolls his eyes and crosses his legs. “I would have thought you’d be done with work, since you’re practically in charge of this meeting.”

Junior ignores him for several more keystrokes and then twists his chair to face Isa. “You’d think my brother would be here since he’s your partner, but shit’s surprising, isn’t it?” His tone is, as always, incredibly rude.

Isa looks at him flatly. “Xemnas has his work, I have mine. It’s not as if he won’t be informed of what goes on here.”

“Right. You just get to sit in because you’re so old.”

“Senior Ranger,” Isa corrects. “But fine, I apologize for speaking to you.” He leans further back in his chair, stretching his legs out. Junior gives him a thumb’s up and then swivels back to his computer. Brat. Isa knows he's a goddamn genius, but he definitely agrees with Even that he's a pain in the ass.

The door opens again, held aside for Dilan to walk in. He’s scowling, but he’s usually scowling so Isa pays it no mind. Aeleus follows him into the lab, letting the door swing shut. “Are we all here?”

“Yes, yes, I believe so. Take a break, Naminé. We’ll be busy for an hour.” Even is drying his hands off with a towel as he walks over to their chairs. Naminé smiles at them, sets the sample down, and then leaves the lab. Even watches her go and then switches his gaze to Aeleus. “Ienzo is also out for a bit, so we’ll have privacy.”

Junior doesn’t look up from his computer as he says, “It’s not like you need to be here either.”

“ _Boy_ , I wi-.”

“Even,” Aeleus says tiredly, “please sit down.” He fixes a look on the scientist until he huffs and takes a seat beside Dilan. Dilan is smirking at him and Even smacks his arm. Aeleus sighs at them and then takes the last seat. “Thank you for coming all of you. You all know the threats we’re facing and how little time we have to prepare. Junior came to me with...troubling news after his most recent calculations.” He looks at Junior, clearly directing their attention.

Isa turns to Junior who’s sitting up now and looking at their small group. “You all know that the Kaiju attacks are on a schedule. I’ve been studying the numbers for years, the timing of each attack, the areas targeted, the sizes of the beasts… Everything and anything could help us and I’ve been tracking it all. It’s why we have that giant clock constantly ticking up. It confirms my estimations.” His mouth twists a bit. “So far, I haven’t been wrong.”

“A good thing,” Isa says slowly, not quite certain of the point he's driving at. “As we know when to be braced for another assault.”

“Maybe so, but it also confirms a horrifying truth.” Junior taps a few keys and the projector by his computer clicks on. A calendar of the last year pops up, red x’s on certain days. “Every Kaiju attack has come with near machine-like precision.” He points at one attack, then the one following. “At first they were precisely twenty four weeks apart. Then they dropped to twelve weeks, and then six weeks.”

“This year they switched to every two weeks and the latest was only a week.” Junior sweeps his gaze over them. “The gap is shrinking exponentially. It could be a matter of only weeks before they’re coming through spaced apart only by _hours_.”

It’s chilling. Isa has done this long enough to notice that they were coming through faster, more frequently. Combined with their ever-increasing size and strength…

Junior completes his thought, “We’re fucked, basically. Unless we figure something out, they’ll overrun us through sheer numbers.”

“Which is why we’re here,” Dilan says, arms folded over his chest. “We have to get that damn Breach shut.”

“Indeed.” Aeleus nods, his hands resting on his legs. “What else can you tell us?”

A couple key clicks and a shift in the display answer him. Junior projects the image of the Breach onto the screen. “We know it’s a dimensional rip in space. There’s an exit on our side and an entrance in their dimension. Dr. Iskald calls it the throat.” 

Even inclines his head in agreement.

Junior continues, “The math would tell us that when more than one Kaiju starts crawling through it, it would need to be wider. They can’t all squeeze out at the same damn time.”

“So it’s not going to be a choke point,” Dilan grumbles. 

The scientists shake their heads. Junior drums his fingers beside his keyboard. “Unfortunately, no dimensional science study has gone far enough to tell us what to goddamn use this opportunity for. We don’t know _how_ it works.”

“We need more information. We don’t know enough other than the grim prediction of Junior’s calculations.” Even sniffs. Isa can’t tell if he’s ignoring sound math out of spite for Junior or just disgusted with the lack of information.

“We could always take your hunk of Kaiju brain and drift with it. Maybe it knows something,” Junior suggests dryly.

Even shoots him a glare that borders on acidic. “We _know_ what the Kaiju know: they’re here to destroy us and that is it.”

“There’s nothing else to them?” Aeleus looks at Even with a frown.

Even shakes his head. “They all have the exact same DNA - they’re clones of one another.” His fingers tap against his arm. “Clones do not tend to form naturally. We can guess that something creates them, sends them here. The Kaiju hold no knowledge, only instinct and _that_ is why they attack and destroy. Establishing a neural bridge with even a brain sample would be pointless _and_ incredibly dangerous.”

Junior rolls his eyes. “I was kidding.”

“A terrible joke to make.”

Aeleus clears his throat before an argument starts. “We have assets and we need to make use of them. We have good rangers, seniors like Isa and Xemnas and our new recruits that are already proving themselves to be flexible and strong. We simply need a way to make use of what we have. If we need knowledge...how do we get more?”

Junior can only shake his head. “We don’t know. The Breach opening could be _random_ for all we know. Maybe whatever caused it to open, whatever instinct sends the Kaiju here, is just a big middle finger from the universe.”

"Wouldn't surprise me," Dilan mutters, ever the optimist. 

It’s a lot of information, things that Isa doesn’t consider on the regular. He lets his thoughts swirl, the pieces pressing together and tugging apart when they don’t fit in any good way. The lab is quiet, all of them thinking through their impossible situation. Isa closes his eyes and tries to bring the pieces together into a plan - just like he does in combat.

 _The Kaiju are like animals, instinctively coming here and attacking. They are all clones of each other. If something is making them, is sending them here...then that something opened the Breach._ Isa takes a breath and looks up. “If they’re being sent here, the opening has a reason. If we could find out why or how it was opened in the first place...we could figure out how to close it again.”

Dilan arches one of his perfectly manicured eyebrows. “How would we even do that? Send some poor bastard through the fucking Breach?”

Isa presses his lips together and then nods. “If it meant finding out the information we need, if there was a way to get through...I would immediately go myself.”

He looks around their small group and can see each of them considering what it would mean to do this, to find out the truth of the Breach. Aeleus looks troubled, Dilan bemused. Even nods. “If we could but map the Breach, we would have a much better idea of what it is. From there, we could begin to understand how to destabilize it and close it.”

“I don’t like the idea of sending someone through it, but…” Aeleus runs a hand through his hair. “We do need the information. First, we should see what we can glean with a scan of it from the outside. We’ve never sent down more than a basic probe. A Jaeger equipped with better technology could tell us a lot more.”

Isa nods. “With no major projects right now, engineering would have a full staff to turn to adding any devices to one of our Jaegers.” He can imagine the look on Xemnas’s face as he’s given just such a project. The way his eyes can flicker with ideas and passion, it’s when Isa found him most attractive.

“Even, Junior, I want to know what type of scans to prioritize. Send me a list with reasons for each and then we’ll see what we can get done.” Aeleus trades a look with Dilan. “The new work should be put on _Ethereal_. I want our most senior team on this.” Isa nods. “We also need to carefully time it. Could we have things fit by the next attack?”

Junior’s lips flatten. “That’s three days.”

Dilan leans back in his chair. “It’s our best bet. If we send the scan team down directly after the most recent attack, they’ll have the most time to get a read on it and give you as much time as fucking possible to sort the info out. But it takes _Ethereal_ out of our primary line-up.” He doesn’t look pleased about it.

“ _Ethereal_ , _Tsunami_ , and _Destiny_ ,” Aeleus amends. “We don’t want to send _Ethereal_ down alone. _Destiny_ is better built for depths like that. I fear _Oblivion_ would be slowed to a crawl.”

“What about _Wayward_?” Isa asks. “They’re a more senior pair than _Destiny’s_ team.”

“I don’t want to leave our two newest teams to face down an attack on their own.” Aeleus crosses his arms over his chest. “One more experienced pair with one new is a better balance, for guarding _Ethereal_ and for facing down the next attack. _Tsunami’s_ visuals will be better in the depths as well.”

He has clearly already run through the pros and cons in his head and Isa nods in agreement. He hadn’t thought about the bigger picture, but the Marshal has to. “Understood, sir.”

“Good. That’s enough for now. Junior, Even, I want those lists as soon as possible. Dilan, you and the others make sure _Oblivion_ and _Wayward’s_ rangers are ready. It’s a good thing we got Axel in when we did. We need those kids in shape and now.” The words surprise and sting, and Isa looks away before anyone can see him grimace.

Aeleus stands. “As always, we have much to be done in little time. Isa, report to my office with Xemnas for a briefing in an hour. I want his blueprints for _Ethereal_ , including all updates made to her, brought with him.”

Isa stands and salutes. “Yes, sir.”

“Thank you.” Aeleus sweeps his gaze over them, the few of them that remain in command of an entire war. “We have three days. Make them count.”

They all nod and Aeleus and Dilan immediately walk back through the doors. Even moves to Junior’s computer, already scribbling things down. Junior rolls his eyes, but his fingers are just as quick to tap at his keys. Information flies between the two of them.

Isa takes a step back, his shoulders tight. It used to be so much simpler than this. He didn’t have to try and think of a plan to stop an entire war. They didn’t have to struggle under the knowledge that they were nearly out of time. It was easy: drift, fight, and win. That’s all they had to do.

But Axel couldn’t even handle that much. And he left the weight of the entire war on Isa. He squeezes his hands into fists, feeling his nails press against his skin. _No. Focus. Go find Xemnas. Things can still be taken a step at a time._

He breathes in, then out to the count, and then leaves the lab. If his shoulders still feel tight, held stiff to keep him from slumping from exhaustion, there’s no one around to notice anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cast list!  
> Marshal (commander) - Aeleus O’Donahue  
> Scientists - Even Iskald, Junior (Xehanort Eraqus Conli Jr), Ienzo Iskald, Naminé  
> Trainers - Dilan Umoya, Ansem Conli, Axel Avery
> 
> Yes, Junior is Young Master Xehanort if he was like an actual non-time travel person. I love him


	7. Chapter 7

Axel knows he’s in for it this morning when Dilan greets him with, “I need you to get these damn kids to stop fucking each other over.”

“I’m sorry,” Axel says with a decent amount of offense. “You want me to  _ what? _ ”

Dilan rubs his face, clearly exhausted. The cup in his other hand is full of steaming coffee. “You’re going to work with Roxas and Xion today. The kids are good, but they keep tripping over themselves and breaking the whole neural handshake down. I need you to sort them out.”

“Right, okay.” Axel spent most of last night going over the information he got from the drift simulator and Ienzo’s Jaeger specs, so he at least has  _ some _ idea of what Dilan’s talking about. “Any suggestions?”

“If I had them, I would have already sorted them out. Whatever’s fucking them up is yours to find. And find it fast - they need to be in active combat as soon as possible.” Dilan takes a long sip of coffee and then limps away, leaning on his cane. Axel frowns at his back. An exhausted, cranky Dilan does not bode well for the day, or maybe the whole week. He can ask later - they’re going to have a trainers meeting once the rangers are dismissed for lunch.

Axel turns to see if Roxas and Xion have arrived yet. For a moment, he thinks not, then he spots the two of them doing stretches with Vanitas. Much like Riku was days ago, Vanitas has himself bent almost completely in half as he leans forward and grabs his feet. He’s even talking as he does it, saying something that makes Roxas wince and Xion grin. Welp, no time like the present.

He makes himself walk over, lifting a hand as the three of them look up. Vanitas arches an eyebrow, but doesn’t snark at him. Xion gives him a little salute while Roxas frowns. “You two are with me,” Axel tells them. “Umoya wants me to see if I can sort out what’s disrupting your drift.”

Now they’re both frowning at him. Vanitas snorts and sits upright. With a nimble little push, he’s on his feet. “Good luck,” he says simply, with a look directed at Axel.  _ Oh boy. _ Axel looks back at Roxas and Xion. After a second’s thought, he sits on the ground.

“I’ve only heard from Umoya and the drift sim scores just tell me when you’re losing hold in the sim fight. You guys tell me about the drift.” It’s not going to sort them out, just talking doesn’t fix everything, so Axel begins stretching too. He’s just...one of the guys, sure.  _ Approachable Avery, that’s me. _

Roxas bites his lip and he and Xion trade a look. After a moment of worrying his lip that Axel is waiting to break skin, Roxas takes a breath. “It’s...intense, but it’s also the best thing I’ve ever felt. We’re so much more powerful together. Every time we go out to test the mechanics of  _ Oblivion _ I get really excited. We get to do this, to be the rangers of that Jaeger.”

“We’ll get to save people,” Xion adds. “And I feel more powerful too, like nothing can stop us.”

“But,” Axel says arching an eyebrow. “What’s the snag? Memories, fears, one of you really likes pickles and the other person hates them?”

They both burst into nervous laughter. “That doesn’t happen, does it?” Roxas asks.

Axel nods. “Oh yeah, I mean, one time we were both just really fucking tired, but my partner was thinking about how much he wanted like hot pepper chocolate to wake himself up. I couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth and we couldn’t get a solid hang on things for like  _ ten minutes _ .”

“Oh my god,” Roxas mutters, but his smile is more genuine. “That’s so stupid.”

“Ours is kinda dumb too,” Xion says, scratching the back of their head. “It’s...well, I think it’s the worst when things get...dicey?”

Roxas hums and crosses his arms over his chest. “The sim gets mean and doesn’t play fair.”

That’s not helpful, but before Axel can say so, Xion pokes Roxas’s arm. He sighs and starts stretching his legs out and Xion looks at Axel. “One time I really remember where it just fell apart was a sim run where we were fighting a Kaiju in the ocean. The footing was bad and we slipped. The Kaiju came right at Roxas’s side and I tried to cover him with the wrong arm. The handshake just fell right to pieces after that.”

“Ah, yeah, that can happen.” Axel rolls his neck, trying to ease the tension knot that’s started to make its home there. “You try to cover one side because you’re thinking about being two people again and things get confusing very quickly.”

“But we are two people. You’re not actually supposed to be one person,” Xion points out. “That was an initial concern with the program: how far the drift would go into overlaying consciousnesses.”

Axel arches an eyebrow, impressed. Someone’s done the extra reading. “Right, but in the Jaeger, you’ve got one body. Inside the conn-pod, there are two of you, but when it comes to the Jaeger, there’s one body to move. You, in the conn-pod, can’t cover the other pilot. You have to think about it in some contradictory ways.”

Ruffling up his hair, Roxas is frowning harder than ever. “I don’t entirely understand. I can cover Xion with the Jaeger’s arm and she could do the same for me.”

“But I bet that’s not what you’re doing. You’re thinking, shit  _ I _ need to cover  _ them _ .” Axel points to Roxas and then to Xion. “And the Jaeger can’t think like that, because it’s all one thing.”

“Jaegers can’t think,” Roxas says, clearly to be a pain in the ass. But Xion is scratching their neck with an equally frustrated expression. They’re not getting it and he’s not sure of the words to explain it right.

Axel hums and then stands up again. “You’re right, but you’re thinking too much. Here, let’s try to simulate something similar.” He crosses over to the rack of bo staves and grabs the ones marked as Xion and Roxas’s. He tosses them to the kids and then grabs one for himself. 

Dilan’s got the  _ Destiny _ crew doing something that involves the three of them doing handstands against the wall, Terra and Aqua are on the treadmills, and Ven and Vanitas are lifting weights. Which leaves the sparring ring open and things decently quiet in the room as a whole. Perfect. Axel leads Xion and Roxas to the sparring area, stopping right in the middle. “Alright, so we’re going to do an exercise.”

They both grin at him. “Is it a fight exercise?” Xion asks, twirling the staff between their hands.

Axel catches the end of their staff, halting its motion. “In a way. We’re going to spar, the two of you against me. You’re going to cover each other and see if you can disarm me.”

Roxas and Xion trade a look and he can  _ see _ the plan fly between them in that simple glance. They know each other, they know each other very well, and it makes him nostalgic. But it’s not going to be as easy as they think. Axel takes two steps back and shakes his arms out. One of them is going to rush him and his money is on it being Roxas. So far, Xion seems to take a more observational stance and then move in for an attack.

“Alright,” he tells them, letting the staff rest over his shoulder. “Come and get me.”

They both take a moment to size him up, waiting to see if he’ll put up an active guard. Axel doesn’t and begins to smirk. “Nothing? I’m gonna get bored waiting.”

Xion shrugs and swings their staff down - that’s when Roxas moves. Not a bad play really, Axel was looking at Xion’s staff and not him. Roxas charges right at him, staff swinging for his shoulder, but doesn’t notice Axel’s feet. He trips Roxas and catches him at the waist with his staff. With a twist, Roxas hits the ground on his back. Most of the breath is knocked from his lungs and Roxas hisses.

Axel straightens and Xion is pressing toward him. They swing at his side, getting close enough that he has to block. But instead of pressing their advantage, they back up, putting themself between Axel and Roxas.  _ Priorities. _

They won’t learn anything like that. Now, Axel moves in, moving around like he’s going to come at Roxas from the other side. Xion tracks him, swinging at his center when he gets close enough. But they keep their stance in front of Roxas, despite that he’s kneeling and about to stand again. Axel shakes his head and lunges. He feints at Roxas and as Xion’s staff comes around to cover his head, Axel catches it with his other hand. He gives it a yank and Xion yelps as they’re pulled off-balance. He’s not mean enough to dump them on top of Roxas and catches Xion before they’re in a pile.

Setting them back on their feet, he arches an eyebrow. “You’re being too defensive. The point is to disarm me, not defend your partner.”

“You said to cover each other,” Xion argues. They take their staff back, frowning. “Once he was back up, I could have gone for you.”

“You could have come at me while he got his feet under him.” Axel points between them. “You knew he was going to get back up, so why keep defending him?”

Xion’s cheeks fill with color. “You were targeting him!”

“Only to try and make a point.” Axel swings his staff up, tapping it against his shoulder. “Xion, Roxas, I’m not going to smack you while you’re on the  _ ground _ .”

Roxas folds his arms over his chest. “If this is supposed to be teaching us something, you’re doing a shit job.”

Axel sighs. “The point is that you’re too busy thinking about protecting each other. If we did this again and I went after Xion, Roxas, you’d be covering them. That’s what the simulations show.”

“What? We’re not fighting someone attacking us both in the sims!” Roxas glares at him, clearly pushed to boiling frustration by a lack of understanding. “This is  _ bullshit _ .”

“You are literally fighting something attacking both of you in the sims.” Axel keeps his voice even. “You’re fighting it in one body, with two minds, and when you start thinking about protecting the other body, you’re breaking things up too much.” He holds his hand up before Roxas starts shouting at him. “You have to trust, without a doubt, that your partner has everything under control. That no matter what happens, they’ll still be standing with you, that they’ll still be ready for the next move.”

Axel meets Roxas’s eyes and then Xion’s. “No matter what, your partner will be there. If you don’t believe that, you’ll never be able to drift together and engage a real Kaiju.” They stare at him, both of them so defiant to inevitable fate.  _ But rangers need that. How else could we go out and fight monsters. _

“You will get hurt, things will get damaged in  _ Oblivion _ , but you will always be together in a fight. Trust is what you must have above everything else.”

Roxas nods, sharp and quick. “I do trust Xion. I know they’ll always have my back.” His lips quirk for just a second. “They’re better in a fight than me.”

It breaks the worst of the tension and Xion smiles at him. “Of course I am, but you’re second-best in the base.”

“Thanks,” Roxas says dryly. “We already trust each other, so what are we supposed to do?”

Axel taps his staff against his shoulder again. “You have to retrain your own reactions. It’s hard, but you two can do it. We can start right now.”

“I’m still not certain I like this,” Xion says. “It sounds like I should just ignore Roxas when he’s in trouble.”

“You’re not ignoring it. You just have to think logically over letting yourself always react.” Axel steps closer and twirls a finger at them. “Here, we’ll do a simple thing. Stand back to back.” With another glance at each other, Roxas and Xion obey. Axel walks a circle around them, keeping an equal distance the whole way around. “There, so you can’t see behind you, but your partner is there. I’m going to walk around you guys and do simple strikes.”

Roxas immediately frowns. “And?”

“So impatient,” Axel chides him and taps him in the ankle with his staff. “You two are to stay just like that. The only thing you can move is your arms.  _ No _ , I will not be swinging at your legs, I promise. I’m not doing this to be a dick. The point is to focus on what’s in front of you. Not your partner, not what might be happening that you can’t control, just what’s in front of you.”

Xion is frowning at nothing, staring straight forward. “I don’t see how this will help.”

“It’ll change up your reactions, make you think about just this, instead of trying to deal with fighting me, protecting Roxas, and whatever else goes on in your big ol’ brain.” Axel walks around to their side and grins. “What do they teach ranger pilots first about the drift?”

Their bright eyes flick to meet his and Xion smirks at him. “Don’t think about being naked.” It makes Roxas choke, but Axel just rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sure  _ Dilan Umoya _ brought that up first. No, come on.”

“Focus on the handshake and don’t chase errant thoughts,” Xion recites.

“Exactly. Protecting each other isn’t precisely an errant thought, but it’s something you need to learn to immediately compartmentalize instead of letting it take focus.” Axel takes a step back. “So, face forward, and wait for me to swing at you.”

Roxas and Xion straighten up, both of their gazes turned out. Their staves rest across their bodies, gripped in both hands. Unsurprisingly, Dilan had them master staff forms during their training. They’re ready for whatever direction he’ll come from. With a nod, Axel starts walking around them, his staff tapping against his shoulder.

He can see Roxas’s gaze flick to him once he comes around, holding on him the entire time Axel’s in view. Axel grins at him and twists his staff in his fingers. Roxas’s eyes narrow, but his hands stay still.  _ Good, wait for the approach. _ Axel continues to circle around and when he’s right in front of Xion, he pivots on the ball of his foot and swings his staff down. It’s not fast, not hard, and is clearly aimed for their head.

Xion’s arms come up, their staff held firmly between their hands, and the staves meet with a clack. Roxas’s head twists around and Axel reaches over and taps the crown of his head with his staff. “What did I say?”

“Don’t look,” Roxas grumbles and looks forward again. “Excuse me for being wary.”

“I’m not going to hit you like that,” Axel says again. “I promise, I’m not. No dirty tricks, no surprise blows to your knees. The point is to get you to focus, not make you hate me.”

Xion lowers their staff back to a rest position, their eyes still fixed on him as he moves away. Axel goes back to the circle, this time not looking at Roxas, until he’s at his side. He swings and Roxas moves his staff to the side to stop the blow. Xion twitches, their staff moving out, and then back.

“Good,” Axel says. “That’s what you have to do. Understand where the hit is coming from and prepare to handle it. And when it’s your partner…”

“Trust they’ve got it,” Roxas answers. “Are we going to do this until we get it?”

“We can try different things. Making your body and your emotions work with your head despite everything else is tough to teach.” Axel hums. “I say we put in a bit more work, then you’ll go run a simulation to see if you feel a difference.”

Xion smacks the end of their staff against the floor as if striking a gavel. “Let’s do it. Another attack is coming soon and I want to be cleared for combat.” Roxas nods quickly.

Axel smiles at them. It must be maddening to be so close to being able to help, but still stuck until they finally master something they don’t entirely grasp. He nods back to them. “Alright, positions. Try and imagine being in  _ Oblivion _ and you’re waiting for the Kaiju to attack first.”

They press their backs together and breathe in. Already they settle into a matched pattern, partners in every sense they can be. Axel begins to circle them again, his own determination to get them ready, to be as devoted to this as they are, solidifying in his chest. If these kids can give so much to this, he owes it to them to show them the best way forward.

When he swings his staff, Xion meets it with a clack. Their eyes burn with a light Axel used to feel. He smiles at them and then slides past, twisting into a blow that Roxas blocks just as cleanly. Xion faces resolutely the opposite direction. 

They give it their everything and after fifteen minutes of honest effort, Axel can tell that they’re already working more smoothly. He has them switch back to sparring straight with him - and even without his reminders to trust each other, Xion and Roxas are closer to moving in a way he expects. When he moves toward Xion, they block and Roxas is shifting to come at him. When he blocks Roxas, Xion’s staff comes for him. 

Axel is forced back a step to avoid the blow and can’t help but laugh. “There you go! Working together, attack and defense. Do you feel it?”

Xion nods and Roxas grins widely. “It’s easier in the Jaeger, you know.”

“You gonna preach that to me, rookie?” Axel musses Roxas’s hair. “Then go prove it. Take a break and then do a sim run.”

Roxas lifts a hand and Xion high-fives him. “We’ve got it in the bag,” Xion says. They grab Roxas’s hand and drag him toward one of the benches.

Normally, they’d have weeks to practice, to get a feel for things. They’d solidify this, truly reach an understanding of the drift and what it feels like to work entirely in sync with one another. With things as they are today, they don’t have that kind of time. Axel sighs and rubs at his forehead. “It’ll have to be enough,” he mutters to himself. “You have to get them ready  _ now _ .”

Hopefully, he’s good enough. He has to believe that he is, even if he can still hear Isa hissing the words at him -  _ ‘You were never good enough.’ _ The only other end is more blood on his hands.

With a shake of his head, Axel moves away from the sparring ring as if he can leave the worry behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super super excited to post this one and I really hope you enjoy it! If you do it, it'd mean the world to me if you left a comment!

Dilan leans against his desk, easing the weight off his leg. He sighs, looking first at Ansem and then at Axel. “We’re running out of time. We’re going to be pushing every ranger to their limits and here’s why - we’re going to be moving to actually close the Breach.” He lets it hang in the air for a moment and then continues. “We’re starting with a scanning mission. If everything is ready in time,  _ Oblivion _ and  _ Wayward _ will field the next attack. Once that’s handled, the rest of our teams are going down to scan the Breach.”

Axel slumps back in his chair. “That’s why you’re pushing Roxas and Xion to active duty.”

“We need them working, Avery. They’re here to pilot Jaegers and that’s what they’re going to do.” Dilan fixes him with the look of a man who’s faced down more of the war than any of them. “The Kaiju come faster every damn month and we need a permanent solution. They need to be in combat, that’s it. We need every ranger, every damn Jaeger working if we’re going to actually end this war.”

“So you’ve got the new one to get the kids working as best they can, you’re riding the old ones, and I’m what?” Ansem’s voice is practically a drawl, no hint of concern to be found.

Dilan looks at him and Axel exhales. Dilan’s gaze rests even more heavily than it used to. “You’re going to be making sure no one’s going too far. We can’t afford training injuries now. We’re all under the clock, but we have to be smart.”

“You’re picking the wrong twin for brains.” Ansem laughs. “But alright. This is what they’ve been adding to  _ Ethereal _ for then?”

“Engineering’s been putting any scanner they think is useful on it,” Dilan confirms. “Once they do the scan, we’ll be making a real plan.” He looks between them and then sighs. “There’s more I could say, but until we have real information, I want you two to focus on the next two steps:  _ Oblivion _ needs to be ready for engagement and  _ Tsunami _ and  _ Destiny _ need to be prepped for deep-sea excursion.”

Axel nods, but his knee has started bouncing up and down. “How long?”

Dilan’s gaze is hard, but incredibly tired. “The next attack is predicted to be within the next thirty-six hours.”

“Shit,” Ansem hisses. “And you’re telling us  _ now?” _

“Avery works better without that kind of pressure on him. He’s already got the  _ Oblivion _ pair running better than they were for the past two weeks. This afternoon I’ll tell the teams the plan. Avery, we need to know by tonight if you think they can’t take it.” Dilan folds his arms across his chest. “It’s rough, I know, but-.”

“But that’s war,” Axel interrupts. “I know, sir. I’ll, I’ll get them working as best I can before tonight.” He scrubs his hands through his hair.  _ Hell. A couple days my ass. _ Axel squeezes his eyes shut and makes himself exhale. War doesn’t allow for time to panic.

Stifling silence settles on the three of them. Axel can almost taste the tension rolling through the air. Ansem starts to pace and Axel sits up straighter. Roxas and Xion already had a better sim run after the morning’s work. If they know what’s at stake, if they devote the afternoon to bond strengthening exercises, they can do it. You never know for certain until a pair’s in actual combat, but seeing their determination, Axel knows they can do this.

His chair screeches slightly as he shoves himself to his feet. Axel snaps a salute to Dilan. “Anything else, sir?”

Dilan looks at him, his dark eyes impossible to read. Slowly, he shakes his head. “Eat,” he orders. “Have lunch and then we begin the first sprint.”

_ The first of many. _ Axel nods and turns to leave. Passing Ansem, the other man sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. Axel arches an eyebrow, but Ansem shakes his head and gestures for him to leave. Axel has too much on his own plate to worry about the trainer that’s been here much longer than him. With another nod, Axel leaves the office.

The door shuts and he can hear the muffled sound of Ansem’s voice. Whatever it’s about, he’s got his own shit to concentrate on. Mind spinning with plans and ideas, Axel heads for the mess.

* * *

Less than twenty-four hours later, Axel is barely able to stomach breakfast. Roxas and Xion were working well enough together at the end of the day that he gave approval to Dilan, but now he’s overthinking everything. Active combat, active fucking combat with the Kaiju is going to happen sometime today and if they get hurt or worse, it’s entirely on him.

So it’s not the best of days. The whole Shatterdome is buzzing like a kicked beehive so the oncoming attack is clearly common knowledge.  _ Oblivion _ and  _ Wayward _ are going through all kinds of checks right now, everything they can do to be prepared for the assault. Another team is buzzing around  _ Ethereal _ and finishing up its new scanning shit - not that Axel has gone to see it. He’s heard about it from the rangers, talking about how much it must weigh the mech down and how they haven’t seen anything of Xemnas or Isa since the plan was announced.

Isa hasn’t been entirely MIA. Axel’s seen him around - always striding down halls as fast as possible, his hair tied back tightly to keep it out of his face. He’s working, hard and focused on something, and Axel has mostly been wondering if he’s eating.  _ Isa knows how to take care of himself better than you do. _ At least, that’s what he’s been telling himself.

Regardless, there’s a Kaiju attack coming today and Axel is not fucking ready. It’s one thing to hear about them, to know they’re still happening. To be back in the dome, to see everyone racing to be ready, it sets his pulse to humming like a bird’s. There’s not much he can do to help. There’s no training on attack days; it’s not worth the potential injury to the pilots. So he can pace or he can lose his mind waiting in his room. Neither is really ideal, so he’s pretending he’s busy with something by heading for the hangar. 

Roxas and Xion are thrilled to finally be allowed to really engage, but he knows how first run jitters can be. If he’s helping them relax a bit before they go, then he can pretend to be a bit comforted too. Hearing Vanitas and Ven talking shit to each other will probably settle his nerves more than anything, and that’s just depressing. Those two idiots are all that’s between his new kids and real danger.

At least he knows they’re good in a fight. He checked  _ Wayward’s _ kill count and they’ve knocked off five Kaiju since they started. Not bad at all. Axel shakes his head and turns the corner. Maybe this is proof that he’s not a good fit to be her-. 

“Whoa!” He jerks to a stop, almost tripping over his own feet, as Kairi about slams into him.

She dances back a step, one hand going to her heart. “Holy shit, Axel!”

“Same to you. Were you waiting to scare me?” Axel tugs his shirt straight as if that’ll settle his heart as well. Kairi’s face is clearly not one of delighted mirth at having gotten the drop on him. In fact, she looks pretty stressed. “You alright, Kairi?”

Kairi shrugs and folds her arms across her chest. “I’m frustrated, but I can’t talk about it with Umoya.”

“Why not?” Axel’s seen enough in just a few days to know that Kairi has no problem speaking her mind to anyone.

“I’ll start shouting at him and get our whole team benched.” Kairi blows a frustrated breath out. “It’s just, why can’t we help today? They need us!”

“Because they need you tomorrow,” Axel answers immediately. “ _ Destiny’s _ going on the dive with  _ Ethereal. _ ”

Kairi glares up at him. “I  _ know _ , but it sucks. We could fight today and do the dive. I don’t see why we have to sit around and wait for things to go wrong when our Jaeger isn’t the one with all the new scanning gear.”

Ah, he shouldn’t be surprised. It used to drive him crazy, having to step aside to let someone else do a job he could handle just as well. Axel gestures down the hall. “Walk with me? I know it sucks, but you know better than I do why  _ Destiny _ can’t engage today. What if something happened?”

“It wouldn’t be that bad.” Kairi turns to fall into step beside him. Despite his long legs, she keeps up easily with his loping pace. “Wouldn’t having more of us out there be better for ending things quickly?”

“I’ve never fought with more than two Jaegers out there, but if you’re all aiming for the same Kaiju, things could get messy.” Axel waves his hands in the air, trying to illustrate. “You’re going for a hit,  _ Wayward _ is recovering from an attack, but whoops, here comes  _ Oblivion _ with a charge that slams the Kaiju right into you.”

Kairi grimaces. “I guess, yeah, but if we had a plan and kept up communications-.”

“Things change real quick in a fight.” Axel arches an eyebrow. “You’re all a team here. You’re all working toward the same goal, which means sometimes you have to step back. Let  _ Wayward _ and  _ Oblivion _ handle today. They’ll let you guys handle tomorrow.”

“I  _ know _ ,” she says, sighing. “I just...I’m not good at waiting to be included.”

Axel drops a hand to her shoulder. “You’re central to tomorrow. Think of the big picture.”

Her eyes meet his, such a pale blue that seems to look right through him. Kairi bites her lip and then spits out, “Why did you leave? If you care about the big picture-.”

“I’m only here  _ now _ because of the big picture.” Axel barely keeps the snap from his voice. Why can’t people leave it  _ alone? _ “I left because I couldn’t see it before.” Oh, but he could see it. He could see how Isa looked at the shape of it all and pressed the button.  _ ‘We have to.’ _ It was him who couldn’t handle that bigger picture. 

Axel takes a breath and pulls his hand away from her. “We all have our parts to play. Be patient, even if it’s against our genetics.” He waves at his hair, a few shades of red brighter than hers.

It takes any sort of reprimand out of his statement and Kairi cracks a smile. “I’ll try.”

“Good, that’s all we can do. Let’s get to the hangar. I want to talk to Roxas and Xi-.”

The alarm blares to life, shrieking and reverberating down the halls. At the next intersection, the light is spinning, bright red flashing over the metal plates. Every ranger knows the meaning of that sound in their bones - There’s movement in the Breach.

Kairi looks up at him and then she’s sprinting down the hall toward the hangar. Axel sucks in a breath even though his chest feels like it's clamped in a vice. He follows her at a run. Long legs don’t make up for her speed and he quickly loses Kairi in the flow of people moving in and out of the hangar doors.

“Whoa, Avery!” An arm comes out of the crowd, grabbing Axel’s, and yanking him closer to the wall. Ansem doesn’t let go even when Axel is clearly looking at him. “You’re going the wrong way. Come on.” He starts towing Axel down a different hall.

“I was going to do a last check with Xion and Roxas.” Axel tugs at Ansem’s grip on his arm. “And I know how to walk on my own.”

Ansem drops his arm, but doesn’t stop moving. “The rangers are already getting suited up and into their Jaegers. You can give them whatever last advice you want over the comms. We should be in command where we can actually be helpful.”

Right, trainers are supposed to be on hand in case anything gets tricky. No hiding from this fight. Axel nods and follows him, turning and climbing a set of stairs that sound extra loud as they climb up them swiftly. Ansem opens the doors at the top and waves Axel in in front of him. It’s hard to say if he’s playing it up or keeping Axel from running off. Axel steps inside and almost immediately slides against the wall.

Command is full of people and weirdly  _ blue _ . A number of them are working away at the terminals, looking at blueprints and maps and god only knows what else. At the front of the room are large windows looking down into the hangar and even from the back, Axel can see the large silhouette of  _ Wayward Soul _ being moved to the front launch bay. All of her lights are on and one hand flexes into a fist. Vanitas and Ventus are testing their sync and Axel can hear someone calling out about their handshake holding steady.

He scans the terminals, looking for  _ Oblivion’s _ specs. He can’t see anyone monitoring them from here and frowns. Axel takes a couple steps forward, squinting. Ansem moves to the front of the room, looking down into the hangar. 

“Handshake established.  _ Oblivion _ stabilizing at 96 percent.” Ienzo’s voice carries over everyone else’s and Axel moves his way. Ienzo is set right near the front, one of the bigger terminals in front of him. Three different displays track what looks like a million things to Axel. The important thing is the screen full of  _ Oblivion’s _ digital image. The bars on screen are both near the top and glowing green.

_ There you go. Hold onto it. _ Axel smiles.

“Good day to you too, Ranger Avery,” Ienzo says dryly. “Checking in?”

“Yeah. Looks like they’re doing good.”

“Well within our approved parameters,” Ienzo says with a nod. “If they maintain it while engaging, I’ll be impressed.”

Axel exhales heavily. “Let’s hope. Any information on the Kaiju yet?”

Ienzo gestures to the display to his right. Axel spares a second to wonder how well he can see it through his hair before actually reading the information Ienzo has compiling. “Category III, huh.” It looks like initial readings from the probes set near the Breach are deteching higher than average toxins. “Great,” Axel mutters. There’s nothing quite as annoying as dodging acid-flinging monsters.

“ _ Wayward Soul _ has launched. Ten minutes until probable engagement!”

“ _ End of Oblivion _ is finishing final checks. Ready for launch in two minutes.”

“Hey, Ienzo. Is there a comm line I can use to talk to them?” Axel puts a hand on the back of Ienzo’s chair and points at  _ Oblivion’s _ image. Ienzo sighs at him, but clicks a couple buttons and then shoves a headset at him. Axel settles it over his ear, tugging the microphone until it stops touching his cheek. “Can you guys hear me?”

“Hi Axel!” Xion sounds chipper and Axel relaxes somewhat. “We can hear you loud and clear. Are you also doing checks?”

“What could he check for? Ienzo’s got our numbers right there.” Roxas, on the other hand, sounds tense.

Axel snorts. “Yeah he does. And he’s giving me a look for taking up valuable time. But I wanted to check with you two before you went out, and not just about the drift. Feeling good? Want any tips?”

“What tips?” They chorus it at him and he could almost laugh.

“Duck when they swing a big clawed hand at you.”

Roxas breaks into laughter and Xion blows a raspberry at him. “You can give the line back to Ienzo now,” Xion says because they don’t appreciate a good tip when they hear one.

“Hey, that’ll save a few hours of repairs. I’m doing you a favor.” Axel glances down at Ienzo just in time to catch his eye roll...and his smile. “I don’t have long, I’m sure they want you to move out. I want you two to know that you’re going to rock it. Crush that fucker out there and make Ven and Vanitas look like the lazy ones.”

“Oh, I bet Vanitas that we could get the death blow. We’re getting that last hit.” Surprisingly, it’s Xion, with plenty of heat in their voice. “Thanks, Axel.” Roxas echoes their gratitude and then the line clicks off.

Ienzo’s holding a hand out for the headset. “Sorry, but they’ve got to go. If you’ve got something to say to them while they’re engaged, come back over.” He points toward Ansem and Dilan at the front, clearly the trainers waiting spot. Axel nods his thanks and goes to join them.

Aeleus is at the front console, a headset on and far too much information for one man to process in front of him. Seated next to him is Naminé. She has her own headset and her hands fly over the keys. Is she...the main contact? Didn’t she say she was an intern? Axel shakes his head - now’s not really the time to worry about it. If she’s there, she can do the job.

Looking down into the hangar, Axel watches  _ Oblivion _ move toward the bay  _ Wayward _ just departed from. In just a minute, they’ll be out there and facing their first Kaiju. The thought makes his stomach draw into a knot.  _ They’ll be fine. Dilan trained them and there was no better ranger in a fight. _

From this vantage point, he can see almost every Jaeger waiting in its place. The empty places for  _ Oblivion _ and  _ Wayward _ are strange gaps and he looks quickly away. He’s been in many fights before, he knows how this goes, but he feels like his skin is going to crawl right off his body. Axel’s eyes jump away from the empty places and down into the corner to the right of him. 

_ Eclipse _ can be seen, still slumped against the scaffolding and the wall. Seeing her makes the feeling settle, just a bit. He breathes in, deeply, and counts to ten. When he exhales, slowly and to a count, his head feels clearer.

“Avery, wanna place a bet?” Ansem leans against Axel’s shoulder, not quite tall enough to put an elbow there. “No one wants to play, but you seem like less of a stiff.”

“I’m good,” Axel says flatly. “I don’t think I’m relaxed enough for that.”

Ansem’s clear, bright gaze lingers on Axel’s face, appraising him. He pats Axel’s back. “Fair enough. How about if your trainees get the kill, I treat you to dinner in town?”

Axel rolls his eyes. “Sure, Ansem. Whatever you like.” He doesn’t need Ansem sitting here and fucking  _ judging _ him for being a loser who can’t even handle the stress of  _ watching _ a Kaiju fight.

“It’s a date,” Ansem says and moves closer to Dilan.

“Quiet in command,” Aeleus’s voice rings through the room and all buzzing chatter dies. “Focus communications on  _ Oblivion _ and  _ Wayward. _ Emergency only for all other lines. Time to engagement?”

“Three minutes, sir,” Naminé answers. “ _ Wayward _ is in position and scanning for movement at the surface. They’ve been briefed on concerns about acidic properties and will work with  _ Oblivion _ to keep the Kaiju in the bay and away from the city.”

Aeleus nods. “Progress on evacuation to the city shelters?”

“We’re still receiving reports,” another worker calls from a nearby station. “But so far reports are within our expectations. All citizens should be sheltered within seven minutes.”

“Good. Open lines to both Jaegers.” Aeleus waits for Naminé’s nod and then clears his throat. “Rangers, you all know what’s at stake, what is always at stake. We are here to support you, but the fight is yours to win or lose. Win, and we will see you celebrated.”

“Does that mean we get cake tonight?” Ven’s voice is all comfortable cheer. “I’ve been dying for cake, sir.”

“It’s amazing you have any teeth left in your stupid skull.” Vanitas is a grumble in comparison, but it’s his usual grumble. “We’ll be done in fifteen, Marshal.”

Someone clears their throat and then Xion says, “I believe you mean  _ we’ll _ be done in twelve, Vanitas.  _ Oblivion _ will be getting the kill this time.”

Aeleus chuckles. “We can do cake. Our hopes ride with you, rangers.”

“Sir!”

The lines click off, gone back to a primary contact for each of them. Axel exhales, his chest squeezing tight.  _ They can do this. They can do this. _ If he keeps saying it, it has to be true. It doesn’t stop the room from becoming something of a buzz of noise and light that he mostly blocks out to focus on breathing. He never expected it to be this hard to  _ sit _ through a fight on the sidelines. It’s easier, apparently, to be miles away instead of close enough that it feels like he could still intervene.

His gaze drops to  _ Eclipse _ again. 

“Sir,” a familiar voice says from close by. “Are we to be on standby?”

Axel lifts his head and Isa is standing beside Aeleus, one hand lifted in a salute. His gaze is focused entirely on the Marshal, but Axel feels his next breath come easier anyway.  _ He’s always known what to do. _

Aeleus doesn’t look away from the rader in front of him.  _ “Tsunami _ is on standby, Ranger Lunara. I doubt it will come to that, but we’re prepared just in case. Remain here in case circumstances change.”

“Sir.” Isa drops his arm and steps back. His gaze flicks to Axel for a second and then away. It puts steel in Axel’s spine. He takes another breath and stands up straight. He’s here because he can help, because he can  _ do something. _ Isa is not the only one who’s opinion of him matters, isn’t the only one who’s changed in the last five years.

“Visual on the Kaiju!” Vanitas’s voice snaps through the speakers. “Engaging!”

“Distance from  _ Oblivion?” _ Aeleus asks the room. 

Ienzo answers him rapidly. “A minute and they’ll be in range.”

_ “Wayward _ keep us apprised of its attacks.”

Ansem leans forward from his position by Dilan. “This thing got a designation yet?”

Ienzo looks at him, visible eyebrow raised. “Clawspitter.”

“Hrm.” Ansem shakes his head. “They’re always using ‘spitter’ for the acid ones,” he mutters to Dilan and Axel. Dilan, to Axel’s surprise, snorts. Ansem smirks. “They should let me name them.”

“We can’t publicize names that are dick jokes,” Dilan mutters back. “Shut it so I can listen.”

Still smirking, Ansem leans back and catches Axel’s eye. He winks and despite himself, Axel smiles back. Everyone here is competent and comfortable - this is normal and things will be fine.

_ “Oblivion _ is in range!”

Things might be fine, but it doesn’t stop his chest from clenching at the sound of  _ that. _ Axel crosses his arms and closes his eyes. It’s easier, just a bit, to listen solely to the reports and comms from the Jaegers.

“Watch its ugly mouth, it’s got dental problems.”

“Slash and burn tactics?”

_ “Wayward _ needs another minute to warm up their blades!”

“Don’t worry. We’ve got it.”

That crunch is so loud that it carries through the speakers and Axel looks toward Ienzo’s station in alarm. Ienzo is wincing and tugging at his headset. “Good job,  _ Oblivion _ ,” he says. “I think you cracked its skull.”

“Dead center!” Roxas whoops. “I knew putting in a hammer would be great.”

Axel exhales in relief and messes up his hair with both hands. A hammer, right. He saw that in the specs Ienzo sent him, but didn’t think about it. It seemed like a back-up weapon. Who wants to fight a Kaiju with blunt force?

His kids apparently.  _ Great. _

“It looks like its jaw is broken, but be prepared for other attacks.”

_ “Oblivion _ backing off.  _ Wayward?” _

“Ready.”

Axel looks to Ansem and Dilan. “What’re they using?”

Ansem snorts. “They call it their  _ wingblades. _ Stupid, over the top, and fucking perfect.”

“Wingblades?”

Ienzo hears and quickly motions him over. Axel goes and leans down. “What’s up?” He can hear the sounds of the fight through Ienzo’s headset and bites his lip.

“If you haven’t seen this, you  _ need _ to.” Ienzo taps a few keys and a video pops up. From the shaky quality, it’s clearly being captured off  _ Oblivion’s _ current feeds, jostling with their movements.

The Kaiju looks as if they’ve been rammed repeatedly into a wall and several cuts mar its body. Something oily and yellow is dripping from its skin, and from the hiss as it hits the water, that’s the acid. The Kaiju shakes, sending more acid flying and  _ Oblivion’s _ arm lifts to shield the conn-pod. 

Axel glances at the handshake graph, but Roxas and Xion are holding steady as can be. He looks back at the feed. “What am I-.”

_ Wayward _ was behind the Kaiju, the two Jaegers pinning it between them to keep it from the city, but the green Jaeger moves and moves quickly. Six white handles have extended from her back, the air around them wavering slightly.  _ Wayward _ leaps into the air, engines screaming, and reaches up to one of the handles.

A sword, glowing with vicious heat, is pulled and plunged into the Kaiju’s back with one smooth motion. The beast screams, but  _ Wayward _ isn’t done yet. A second sword, a third, the Kaiju is stabbed deeply on one side. It turns, trying to catch up, but  _ Wayward _ has leapt again, landing on its other side. Before the Kaiju can react, two more burning swords are plunged into its flesh. It screams, but it’s already on its last legs.

As a last act of defiance, it swings its tail around. The point jabs into  _ Wayward _ , but there’s one more sword left. The last slices the Kaiju’s tail clean off. It shrieks again, but  _ Oblivion _ moves now. With another crunch, the Kaiju is mashed into the water. It collapses, thoroughly bested.

Axel feels like his blood is  _ singing _ he has so much adrenaline coursing through him. He makes himself exhale as cheers and applause ring through command. Ienzo pats his arm. “Impressive, isn’t it?”

“How in the fuck can the Jaeger take that?” 

“Well…” Ienzo drawls. “It can only do it once. Superheating the swords takes time and too much more after that will all but kill  _ Wayward’s _ power supply. They might be nuclear-powered, but they need to  _ not _ make their damn core explode. So, it’s a last resort, meant to be a finishing blow of sorts. Incredibly impressive to watch though.”

“Yeah,” Axel says, feeling his heart pound in his chest. He hasn’t felt like this since...since he was last in  _ Eclipse. _ He glances Isa’s direction, but Isa is staring down into the hangar, not sparing him a thought. Axel exhales and picks up the extra headset Ienzo has. “Let me talk to them.”

“They’ll be back in a few minutes,” Ienzo argues, but connects the line.

Axel doesn’t try to hide his grin. “Good job, rangers.”

“Does that count as a win for us?” Xion asks. “It should, right?”

He has to laugh. “You all won. Next time, bet on something more controllable like how much of the godawful oatmeal you can make yourselves eat.”

Roxas laughs. “Oh man, Vanitas refuses to eat that. You could win that easily, Xi.”

“I could!” 

They both sound flush with victory and adrenaline and Axel’s smile softens. “Really, good work, you guys. I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks, Axel,” Roxas says, after a moment of quiet where he can imagine them grinning at each other. “We know they wouldn’t have let us go if you didn’t give the okay.”

“Eh, like you two couldn’t handle it. You were already great rangers before I showed up.”

“But you got us actually working like pilots,” Xion argues. “So thanks! And make sure the Marshal actually delivers on that cake!”

Axel laughs. “I’ll see it into the oven myself, alright? Make sure  _ Wayward _ makes it back with you.”

“Will do!” They chorus and Axel clicks the line closed. 

As he pulls off the headset, he can hear Aeleus speaking to everyone, announcing another victory and reminding them all that they’d never be able to succeed without everyone’s contributions. It’s standard Marshal post-battle fare, until it’s not.

“Reset the clock.”

Axel looks up at the digital clock displayed above the hangar windows. Mere  _ days _ were counted before this attack, and as the numbers roll back, Axel has to swallow hard. Victories are still victories, but most of their hope now rides on finding a  _ permanent _ solution.

Isa is still standing by the windows, his arms folded behind his back. His expression is flat as the numbers above his head drop back down to zero. For a second, the clock is reset, and then the count starts again.

_ 1, 2, 3… _

As the seconds tick higher, Isa turns and meets Axel’s gaze. For a long moment, they look at each other, and then Isa turns away. He moves to the Marshal’s side, listening to orders, being  _ the _ senior ranger, and Axel… Axel’s flush with victory for a fight he didn’t take part in, for a war he left behind, and he feels the gap between them crack just a hair wider.

It’s easy to celebrate victories when you’ve been gone for the hardest parts. Axel sighs, runs his fingers through his hair, and then heads for the door. He’ll leave the commanders to command, and go deal with the small piece of the war that he can actually handle. The kids deserve a celebration and he’ll give them that.

_ It used to be their little tradition after a won fight: the two of them seated somewhere high, watching the stars, and sharing a cake just big enough for two. _


	9. Chapter 9

**_[Neural Handshake Initiated]_ **

_ He’s small and playing in the garden, chasing after the cat and waving flowers in the wind. Someone laughs from the fence and he turns-. _

_ His twin brother is laughing as he holds a frog in his hands. “If you kiss it, it’ll turn into a prince! Come on, Xem-.” _

_ “-sa! That’s enough!” A hand tightens around his arm and pulls him back from the other boy, the one who started calling them awful names because they were holding hands. He growls through his teeth, unwilling to let it go. He’ll keep hurting him, just like the hurt throbs in his chest. He’ll use anything, even-! _

_ Teeth nip against his neck, a sting against sensitive skin, and he tangles a hand in that long hair. He tugs it, pulling his head up so they can see one another again. He smiles at Isa and pretends he isn’t just as overcome. “Should I expect this every time w-.” _

_ “-e win?” Xemnas’s voice is teasing and smug, despite the desperate light in his eyes. Maybe that’s what they have in common more than anything. Isa presses their lips together because it’s easier than lying with words. _

_ A metal fist meets monster flesh and they’re both flush with victory. _

Isa swallows his gasp as the initial rush of the drift fades and their handshake finds footing. It always steals the breath from his lungs, how powerful the memories are from both sides, how it feels to be himself and someone else all at once. Beside him, Xemnas exhales slowly and lifts his left hand. Isa feels the intention and they move in sync.

“Left hemisphere, calibrated.”

“Right hemisphere, calibrated.”

Xemnas moves through their final checks with ease, familiar and used to it. Isa lets him, moves with his intentions and watches  _ Ethereal _ respond to them. It’s easy now, very easy. Xemnas does their final preparations with  _ Ethereal _ and Isa cleans up his ends of the handshake. Anything that is unnecessary, anything that might be a distraction is carefully blocked off, pressed down until it will not interfere with their work. Xemnas’s mind is a clear pool and Isa won’t allow the things that cling to his thoughts to disrupt that.

_ “Ethereal Superior, _ you are cleared for launch.”

“Finally,” Xemnas mutters. “I would have thought we’d have time for a test run before we went down. I hope we don’t run into any issues with the additions.”

“We won’t,” Isa says. “No one knows  _ Ethereal _ better than you. We’ll be fine, even down in the trench.”

Xemnas smiles, clearly pleased no matter how often he hears similar praise. “Luckily for us,  _ Tsunami _ is the real babysitter while we work.”

Isa smiles back, just a curve up of his lips. “I’m glad for an escort, just in case of some wild emergency.” It’s impossible to relax in a drive suit, but he rolls his shoulders back. They have a bit of a trip before they’re dropped into the ocean and the real work begins.

“What should I be concerned about? A whale shark decides it doesn’t like the look of us?” Xemnas arches an eyebrow, obvious even through his helmet. “Or worse...they give Ansem our comms.”

“That is definitely of greatest concern.” Isa sighs.  _ Though it would make things more entertaining. _ He doesn’t say it, doesn’t let the thought slip between them. The handshake is based more on emotions and intentions, but he never lets anything slip that shouldn’t. This is how they work best.

The comms click on again, Naminé’s steady voice coming through their headsets. “All Jaegers prepared for launch. They’ll fly you out as far as they can without fully submerging you and then you’ll proceed to the trench. Any final questions?”

There’s silence on the line and Naminé clears her throat. “Very good. Comm lines will remain open for the duration of this trip. Please signal immediately if there is an issue. Good luck, rangers.”

Xemnas smiles. “Finally, we will truly learn something about where these monsters come from. You’d think Iskald would have picked up more in all of his studies. How many corpses does it take?”

“We know that they’re clones thanks to him,” Isa says before he can stop himself. Xemnas already knows that. Xemnas knows nearly as much as Isa does about everything. “But yes, it’ll be good to see the Breach for ourselves.”

“Precisely. And I understand the systems placed on  _ Ethereal _ more than Iskald’s tools.” Xemnas adjusts the suit around his wrist, unbothered.

There’s a  _ clank _ outside and then a jolt as  _ Ethereal _ is lifted from the bay. Isa switches his weight between his legs, but there’s no avoiding the sense of floating even with his feet locked into  _ Ethereal’s _ machinery. He hates flying in the Jaeger; it never feels comfortable. He feels an echo of his discomfort from Xemnas, but he knows very well that Xemnas dislikes any situation that removes his personal control.

After a few minutes of silence, Xemnas clears his throat. “How...are you doing?”

It’s such an out-of-the-blue question that Isa snorts. He looks at Xemnas, half-smiling. “Here at the end of the world? About as well as can be expected.”

Xemnas chuckles.”I suppose that is fair. I was referring more to the recent trainer acquisition. I heard the Marshal had  _ you _ escort him to his room that first day. Not very respectful of your feelings.”

Because Xemnas is the master of respecting others’ feelings. Isa presses his lips together before he laughs in the way that makes him feel like his face is cracking apart. “It’s fine. No other circumstances have caused us to interact and I’ll be keeping it that way. I have work to do.”

“Indeed,” Xemnas says, his voice practically humming around the word. “I would have thought he’d have the sense to stay gone after his failure, but apparently not.”

“I believe the Marshal encouraged him with the continuing safety of whoever he was living with. Everyone knows that if we fail, the populace will be decimated.” Isa stares forward instead of looking at Xemnas’s reaction to that. He doesn’t need to see the pity.  _ Poor Isa, always second-best. _

“More proof that he wasn’t fit for this.” Xemnas’s voice is cold. It should make Isa feel comforted, make him feel like someone else understands. Instead, Isa presses down the anger that suddenly flares toward Xemnas.  _ You think so too. Why be angry with him when he agrees with you? You’re being ridiculous. _

Xemnas doesn’t notice the anger, carefully contained in Isa’s head. Isa exhales and changes the subject. “How long are we expecting the scans to take?”

“It shouldn’t be more than thirty minutes. We won’t be able to transfer the data from that deep, so we won’t be waiting for transmissions to go through.” Xemnas pats the closest bit of  _ Ethereal’s _ comm board. “Everything will be saved to her hard drives to be extracted once we’re back.”

“All rangers, prepare for drop and dive.” Naminé’s voice comes through to them so suddenly, Isa has to wonder if the signal was out for a moment. They both straighten and there’s another jolt as they’re set down in the ocean. Just ahead is the drop-off. Two more splashes go up behind them as  _ Destiny _ and  _ Tsunami _ are settled.

Isa’s mouth opens and then shuts. Xemnas already has his finger on the comm button. “Sealing ports,” Xemnas says calmly.  _ “Ethereal _ is prepared to dive.”

_ “Tsunami _ ports sealed,” Terra says.

_ “Destiny _ ports sealed,” Sora cheerfully adds. “Prepared for dive!”

“We’ll maintain radio contact, but the signal might get choppy at Breach-level depths. Please keep us informed of any changes or concerns. You are cleared to dive.”

Xemnas looks at him and Isa nods. Together, they step forward. It only takes two of  _ Ethereal’s _ steps to reach the drop-off. They pause and then step over the edge. The water rushes past them, quickly darkening to pitch black. Prepared for the visual blackout, Isa taps their radar up onto the main display. Xemnas studies it as they continue to fall, a meter tracking how much further to the bottom. Two other dots follow them down.

It doesn’t take long. They adjust their stance and  _ Ethereal _ lands with a slight groan. The pressure around them is greater than anything they’ve fought in before, but well within the standards expected for Jaegers to endure. They take a step forward, out of  _ Tsunami _ and  _ Destiny’s _ landing space. Another minute and the three of them are standing closer to the ocean floor than any of them have ever been.

“Lights,” Xemnas orders through their comm lines and several beams split the darkness. It doesn’t illuminate much, but gives them something to work with beyond the radar. “Keep radar up and watch the ground for dangerous footing. We don’t expect anything to surprise us, but we are in new territory.”

“Yes, sir,” several voices answer him. Isa stays quiet. Xemnas has things well in hand and hardly needs him to add in anything. 

_ Ethereal _ takes the point position and they begin the hike to the Breach itself. Isa can feel the thrum of tension held taut between him and Xemnas. They’ve both wondered about this place, about the hole that allowed these monsters to slip into their world and cause near-endless destruction. That they’ll get to see it today… They keep a firm grasp on their emotions, but the anticipation colors both of them.

“Is this what it was like when you decided to do a week’s worth of training with a blindfold on?” Sora’s voice breaks through the oppressive atmosphere settling around Isa and he blinks. Xemnas sighs very quietly, but doesn’t reply over the comms.

Riku, however, does, despite being in the same conn-pod as Sora. “No, and it wasn’t a week. It was just an exercise.”

“But it was like being blind, right?”

“In a way…?”

“You guys are going to scare the fish off,” Kairi interrupts them. “Shush!”

_ Children. _ Isa almost rubs the bridge of his nose before realizing that  _ Ethereal _ isn’t quite made for such a motion. Xemnas looks like he was considering the same thing, curling his fingers into his palm instead. He reaches for the comm button, but Aqua speaks before he can. “The fish will be scared off by our size, not really our noise. And we’re not here to fish?”

“Yeah, but it’s a good reason for them to be quiet.” Kairi clears her throat. “Which I’m totally doing, because we should be focused, right?”

Two chuckles echo over the line. “It’s fine to talk a bit. This is an unusual mission. We just can’t get distracted,” Terra says kindly.

“So less fish, but maybe observations about the surroundings,” Aqua suggests.

Xemnas sighs again, but doesn’t tell them all to stick to talking off-comms.  _ Good _ , Isa thinks.  _ We can keep track of them easier like this. _ Again, he doesn’t say it - Xemnas already knows. That’s the easiest thing about being in  _ Ethereal, _ they both already know.

“The pressure down here is crazy.” That’s Sora again, but there’s a more serious edge to his voice this time. “I went diving a few times and they put the fear of pressure into you more than the gods. Is the decompression on the way up figured out?”

“They wouldn’t send us down here without it,” Terra says reassuringly.

Isa reaches for the button before he can reconsider. “Our conn-pods were all standardized to keep the effects of deep-diving from us. You have no need to worry about decompression sickness, Ranger Halili.”

“Oh good! I really didn’t want to bleed from my eyes or anything.”

“No,” Aqua echoes quietly. “I think we all prefer not to have to deal with that.”

Xemnas is looking at him, but when Isa looks over, his partner simply nods. Isa nods back and bites back an explanation:  _ It’s easier if I just give them the answers. It’s not because I crave the conversation with our fellow rangers. _ That sounds like a ridiculous denial, even if it’s the truth. The back of his neck itches with his unease at being so easily read. Xemnas knows plenty of Isa’s weak points - he covers them. There’s no need to be so sensitive.

“-ving over the reefs again once rebuilding starts. I’m going right to the conservation teams.”

“I had no idea you cared about the ocean life so much.”

Sora’s pride is obvious when he says, “Well, we’re islanders. The ocean is our life.”

“Even with the war,” Kairi adds, “the ocean is still our home and needs our care. The Kaiju can get out and stay out.”

“Speaking of…” Terra says. “Energy signature is maxing out ahead of us,  _ Ethereal.” _

Isa turns to their own meters and Terra is right.  _ Ethereal’s _ next step is faster as both he and Xemnas strive to see this thing for themselves.

The Breach glows ahead of them, like the embers of a fire burned low. It paints the darkness into a dull orange horizon - Isa is reminded of wildfires glowing everbright in the distance. Xemnas’s memories are of fire as well and they both forcibly remain in the present. Isa exhales and can hear other soft exclamations through the comms.

All three Jaegers slow, standing on the edge of another small cliff, and look down at the Breach. It crackles with energy, even now when nothing should be coming through for days. It makes all the hair on Isa’s body stand on end. He takes a breath that’s too shallow and looks over at Xemnas. “Do we need to be closer?”

Xemnas is staring down at the Breach, his expression a mix of fascination and disgust. He blinks and meets Isa’s gaze. “...I think it’s safer if we remain here. The sensors will reach fine.” He takes a breath and then presses the button to speak to everyone. “We’ll conduct the scans from this position. To complete them all should take about thirty minutes. We will let you know if there are any issues or complications.”

_ Tsunami _ and  _ Destiny _ give their acknowledgement and Xemnas goes to work. A number of commands have been added to  _ Ethereal’s _ systems and he moves through them, starting the first scan. Isa watches him instead of the Breach, trying not to think about the worst of things. If the worst comes to pass, if something crawls out unexpectedly,  _ Tsunami _ and  _ Destiny _ are here as backup. They could handle it.

It doesn’t stop Isa from looking again at the crack in space, flickering with eerie orange light like a strange open wound here at the bottom of the ocean. He makes his eyes close, makes himself focus on the hum of Xemnas’s mind as he sorts through the tasks he needs to finish before they depart. It’s not as comfo-, not as  _ distracting _ as he’d like, but it’s better than nothing. Isa opens his eyes again and tries to look beyond the Breach.

He hates the part of him that says it’d be easier if it was Axel beside him, saying things that might make Isa laugh even as they stared down at a nightmare place.

Isa shoves those feelings, those thoughts down, packing them tightly away from Xemnas, away from himself. He watches the radar, the gauges, and makes sure  _ Ethereal _ is as comfortable at these depths as she can be. Xemnas is focused on his work, flicking between scans with a few taps of the buttons. Isa quietly checks in with  _ Destiny _ and  _ Tsunami _ \- both teams are as awed as them...and sound like they’ll be as glad to leave as Isa.

They’re so close to it, so close to what could be a final, ultimate victory against the monsters that have terrorized them for years...and they can’t do a damn thing. It rankles Isa and he’d rather put distance between himself and the Breach until they can come back down and seal it for good.

Down near the Breach and a tad too close for comfort, a hydrothermal vent goes off, spewing boiling water upward.  _ Ethereal’s _ head creaks as both Isa and Xemnas look up, but the spray doesn’t come close to their team. Xemnas returns to the scans and Isa tries to slow his racing heart. He’s better than this, than these unnecessary reactions. This might be unknown territory, it might be irritating to be stymied from victory while being this close, but he is better at managing himself than this.

He’s been a part of this war too long to let emotions control him.

_ A freckled grin echoes with the same laughter that just rang through the air. The boy on the fence has bright red hair and even brighter green eyes. _

_ The man’s eyes are warm honey brown, nearly gold, and they make Isa feel like the only person in the world who matters. _

Even his memories make a mockery of him. Jaegers run on trust, on partnership, and to not feel anything would be worthless in a Jaeger. Still, Isa knows that some things are better left in the dark. This partnership is what matters, this work, this war, and what they can do to stop it.

“The scans are complete.” Xemnas’s voice breaks through Isa’s reverie. His partner sounds pleased. “We’ve gathered a lot of information. Let us return to the Shatterdome and begin to unravel all we’ve learned.”

“Yes, sir!” 

_ Destiny _ and  _ Tsunami _ turn to begin the long route back to the ocean’s surface. Xemnas turns to Isa, smiling. “Soon we’ll have our answers, Isa. Soon we’ll be able to return and seal the Breach forever.”

Echoing Isa’s thoughts, Xemnas must have heard them somehow. Or perhaps they’re closer than Isa thinks sometimes. Isa smiles back at him. “Soon, this will all be over.”

Xemnas nods and they turn  _ Ethereal _ toward the road back to base.

_ What, _ Isa wonders,  _ will happen to the two of us once this is over? _

Regardless of the importance of their partnership, Isa has never imagined a future beyond the war...that includes Xemnas beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're like me and like to overthink things like "Hey, isn't the Breach in the fucking Marianas Trench. How the hell would you get three giant robots out of there?" Good news! I put the explanation in my notes ages ago when I planned this part.
> 
> *clears throat* "Don’t look at me, audience. They found a way to leave the trench, okay"  
> So, there you go! Bested again, REALITY!


	10. Chapter 10

Power is heady. It gives him a rush of adrenaline and he can feel his heartbeat pick up. He is in control now, he is the one in command.

Axel claps his hands together twice and attracts the attention of every ranger in the training room. He grins at all of them, Dilan a few steps behind him to give him even more gravitas. Axel watches them look at him, look at Dilan, and then look back at him. This is true power. He claps once more and then rubs his palms together. “Good morning to you all. We’re changing things up today and I’ll be leading a special exercise.”

Ven’s hand goes up and Sora’s mouth opens, but Axel is faster than both of them. “Sora, Riku, Kairi, Xion, and Roxas, this exercise is required for you. Aqua, Terra, Ven, and Vanitas, you’re all invited to join us, but I don’t think you need it as much as the kids.”

“Fuck you!” Roxas shouts at him, not quite grown out of being a surly teenager.

“Cram it, Verville.” Dilan taps the end of his cane against the ground. “Novice rangers, you’re with Avery. No complaints.”

Axel waves a hand. “Since I’m sure curiosity will drive you all to join us and solve this excellent mystery, I’ll tell you now that we’re heading for the kitchen.”

Xion and Ven slump a bit. “A work shift? That’s not an exercise,” Ven argues.

“So you’d think.” Axel grins at him. “Like it or not, if you want to learn a bit about feeding yourself and help your fellow Kaiju War units, come with us to the kitchen. Novice rangers, let’s move out!” He claps twice again and fully deserves the finger Kairi shoots him. At least she and her fellow novices move out into the hall.

Axel looks to the others who are all staring at him. Vanitas has his arms crossed and is leaning against the bar he favors for flexibility exercises. One dark eyebrow arches at him and Axel laughs. “To tell you all the truth, I’m going to make the kids take a mental break. You guys have a lot to manage in these next couple weeks and it doesn’t do anybody any good to run your mind down worrying about it all constantly. Working with your hands at something new is usually effective at getting your mind off whatever has your focus.”

“That’s...quite wise of you, Ranger Avery.” Aqua smiles at him. “I wouldn’t mind a change in routine. There’s not much for us to do while the information from the scans is studied.” She looks at the other three pilots. “Let’s all go.”

Vanitas snorts. “Cooking with the babies, what a headache.” He dodges Ven’s automatic swipe at him and moves toward the door. “I’m in.”

“Asshole,” Ventus mutters, but follows his partner. Terra and Aqua nod to Axel and move that direction as well.

“Well, good luck with all that.” Dilan shakes his head. “I’ll be here reviewing plans. Make sure they come after lunch.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” Axel salutes him, less sarcastically than it could be, and heads after his students.

* * *

They’ve already spread out by the time Axel reaches the kitchen.

“I’ve never been in here before!” Sora is already pulling cabinets open, ignoring the slight shriek as the metal doors scrape against each other. “This is so much bigger than the kitchen at home.”

“They feed a lot of us,” Riku says, carefully positioned at one of the islands away from the stove. He looks stiff, arms crossed over his chest. Kairi is between the two of them, looking over Sora’s shoulder as he investigates.

Roxas is poking a big bag of rice to a rhythm, switching to slaps as he likes. Ven puts a hand to his ear, making noises like he’s hyping Roxas’s beat. Roxas grins at him and goes even faster. Their polar opposites, Vanitas is sorting through the pots and pans stacked on a shelving unit as Xion points at different ones and asks him questions. The oldest, Terra and Aqua, are simply waiting by the counter, watching the other rangers move about. Hopefully, they’re just as helpful with Axel’s actual goal.

Rolling up his sleeves, Axel steps into the kitchen and clears his throat. “Alright, rangers, like I said before, this is an exercise. We’re in charge of today’s lunch, but it’s about more than making food I can actually enjoy for once.”

The kids all straighten up and look his way, and the smile he uses with the kids in the camps comes easily. “You’re all very skilled in being pilots. Now it’s time for another valuable skill: distracting yourself with another activity. We’ve got at least a day before it’s back to the grind, so we might as well enjoy it. Normally, I’d use a break to sleep all day, but that’s not the best way to forget everything going on around you. Shit like that likes to sneak into your dreams.”

Vanitas snorts and several of the others chuckle. They all know how it is in a war. Axel nods and holds up a hand full of index cards. “So mental health, learning something new, all that good stuff is our goal for today. Anybody here know how to cook?”

Terra, Vanitas, and surprisingly, Sora lift their hands into the air. Axel nods to them. “Good, that’ll make this a bit easier.” He flips through the recipe cards he wrote up last night after a review of the kitchen’s stock, and then holds a couple out. “Vanitas, Terra, if you’re comfortable with these, you guys can go ahead and get started. I hope you and your partners will not start a fire?”

Vanitas grins and takes one of the cards. “I promise.”

“I don’t trust that, but please, for my sanity. I can’t lose any of my hair.” Axel lets him take the card, watching Ven immediately come over to see what Vanitas has. Terra returns to Aqua and the four of them move to the shelves to gather ingredients and tools. Perfect.

He turns to the others waiting for him. Riku lifts a hand slightly. “We know how to relax.”

Axel shuffles the recipe cards he’s still holding. “I’m sure you do. But this is more useful and you learn something. Ain’t that just grand.” He looks at Sora. “You know how to cook?”

Sora nods. “While we were in one of the refugee camps before we officially joined up, I spent a lot of time with one of the cooks. He was really nice and since I was always so nosey, he showed me how to help.”

Despite himself, Axel softens a bit. “Yeah,” he says, “I bet.” He clears his throat and then gestures from Sora to Roxas. “You and Roxas will work together. We’re doing  _ nikujaga, _ a stew, so start with chopping vegetables.”

“He trusts you with a knife,” Xion whispers to Roxas. “Don’t fuck it up.”

Axel cannot laugh. He presses his lips together and motions to Riku and Xion. “You two will work together on prepping the beef. You’re the responsible ones, so I think you can figure it out together.” Xion and Riku trade nods. Axel hands them a card with the instructions for proper slicing and frying. “Don’t start cooking it until we’ve got a good amount of vegetables chopped by those two. We don’t want it sitting around and drying out cause we’re waiting for potatoes.”

“You got it, chef,” Riku says, smiling slightly. “Where’s the meat?” He moves with Xion when they grab his arm and tug him toward the giant refrigerator. 

“If they don’t come back, do we assume they’ve found another land behind the fruit in there?” Kairi’s got her arms crossed, one hip resting against the closest counter. 

Axel laughs. “Maybe. You can go check on them if they don’t appear again in like five minutes.” He waves the last card in his hand. “But first, you feel up to helping me make noodles?”

Kairi blinks and looks around the kitchen. She’s got one eyebrow up when she meets Axel’s gaze again. “Did you do this on purpose?”

“I divided people into teams, didn’t I? Of course it’s on purpose.” Axel motions for her to follow him over to one of the shelves stacked with dry goods. “I know you guys love each other in your teams, but come on, it’s good to take a break from the norm right? I’m sure I’m not as fun as Sora, but it’s good for you guys to remember there’s life outside of Jaegers and your ranger teams.”

“We do hangout all together sometimes, you know.” Kairi follows and holds out her arm for one of the big bags Axel hefts off the shelf. Her arms are bigger than his, so he has no problem handing it to her. “We’re not  _ so _ focused that we don’t have fun together. We did a movie night like three...four days ago?”

Axel nods. “Good, good, but still, I might as well make this feel like it’s fun instead of work, right? So no regular teams.”

“Except for  _ Wayward _ and  _ Tsunami?” _ Kairi has that eyebrow up again.

“Hey, if you’re brave enough to get between Ven and Vanitas, you be my guest.” Axel picks up a smaller bag of salt and reaches to grab one of the big bowls. “They’re like magnets and I’m not getting slammed between them when they decide to come back together.”

Kairi shakes her head slowly. “Alright, fair point. So, noodles.” She adjusts her hold on the flour bag and follows Axel back to the counter.

“Noodles,” Axel agrees. “Egg noodles specifically. Plus I’ll do another small batch for anyone with egg or dairy allergies. This will be a good damn meal and I want everyone to be able to eat it.” He slaps the counter for emphasis.

She laughs at him and sweeps the edges of her hair away from her face. “Alright, alright. How do we make noodles?”

“We mix a fuckton of flour, salt, eggs, butter, and milk together.” Axel taps the edge of the bowl. “That’s step one. Then, step two will put your real skills to the test.” He waits for Kairi’s arched eyebrow and then continues. “We knead the dough.”

Kairi rolls her eyes. “Gee, a challenge.” She eyes him and then smirks. “Maybe for you.”

Axel flicks the air beside her ear. “Smartass, I hauled food all over the refugee camps, don’t try me.” He puts the recipe card he wrote down in front of her. “Start measuring out the first batch of salt and flour while I get the cold stuff.”

“Aye-aye, sir.”

He waits a moment to make sure she’s actually checking the measurements and then heads for the door to the walk-in fridge. Xion and Riku have made it out, the two of them hovering over the beef with a knife each. Axel quickly detours; he shows them the basic cuts to make and watches them settle into the motions. The awkwardness of Xion’s hold on the knife fades as they find a groove to work with. Riku’s motions stay carefully controlled, but his slices are no less clean than Xion’s.

Since he’s already checked in on one pair, he decides to do a round. Sora and Roxas are in the midst of chopping, Sora’s hand wrapped around Roxas’s as he shows him a safer way to chop. They laugh when Axel dryly tells them it would be easier to keep piloting with all ten fingers. Sora resumes his chopping and he’s quick, clean, and keeping an eye on Roxas at the same time. Axel won’t be doubting him again. He ruffles Roxas’s hair and moves on.

Vanitas and Aqua are chopping up ingredients for the dumplings while Terra and Ven lay out the wrappers. Axel checks with Terra about the wrapping and frying and he promises that they’ll be fine. “Vanitas and I have made them before, so we know what we’re doing.” It’s reassuring to have Terra there, especially since Axel sees Ven throw a wrapper at Vanitas’s head the second everyone turns away. Somehow, other things don’t get thrown and work continues.

Finally, he gets the eggs and milk from the refrigerator and returns to Kairi. She already has flour on her, but she grins at him. “So, noodles.”

“Noodles,” Axel agrees and starts to measure out the milk. “Think you can make yours straighter than mine?”

“I don’t know,” Kairi drawls. “Neither of us is that straight.”

“That joke is older than the war.” But Axel’s grinning. “Alright, alright, first we have to get this mixed.” He pours the milk in and Kairi goes to work on stirring it in. 

The kitchen is humming with work and talk, but it’s the kind of cheerful buzz that Axel remembers fondly from working the kitchen in the camp. The world might be in danger, a war might be going on, they might be smack in the middle of it, but there’s food to be made and there’s always joy to be found in that.

* * *

All eyes are fixed on him, breaths held as he lifts a dumpling from the tray. He turns it slowly from one side to the other. Axel glances at the rangers, all staring at him with varying levels of intensity. Finally, he takes a bite. He nods as he chews and swallows. “Delicious. Finally, everyone here will know what a palatable meal is. You’re all free.”

“Yeah!” Sora jumps in the air, one fist up, then turns and high-fives Roxas, both of them slapping as hard as they can. It rings through the room and several of their friends laugh. Vanitas rolls his eyes, grabs a dumpling for himself, and is out of the kitchen first. Riku is next, leaving all food behind him as his friends trail him in a line. They’re all chatting about lunch, about their work, and Kairi in particular is bragging about how her noodles are definitely the better shaped ones unlike Axel’s.

Axel rolls his eyes, but is pleased as all hell to see them relaxed and happy. War is a grim affair, stretching forward in front of them, but for now, they’re practically able to act their ages. He nods to Aqua, the last to leave, and she waves to him with a smile. “We’ll see you at lunch.”

That sounds like a standing invitation to join them. How nice. Too bad he’s got to finish preparing everything to be served and clean up the kitchen. Axel sighs and tugs his hair together into a ponytail. Nobody likes cleaning up, so he didn’t want to sour things by having the rangers help him. “Counter scrubbing, it’s the life for me,” he hums.

Someone’s footsteps tap into the kitchen when he’s elbow deep in sudsy water. Axel turns and stiffens as he takes in the man surveying the room. Unnerving gold eyes land on him and he watches Xemnas Conli slowly smile - it edges into a smirk the more he looks at it. Axel’s hands squeeze into fists, hidden in the water. “Ranger Conli,” he says politely. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“I had heard that the other ranger teams were here for an...exercise. Have they already left?” Xemnas’s tone is equally polite if less stiff than Axel’s. 

_ Why the fuck is he here? _ Axel doesn’t ask. “We finished a few minutes ago. They headed off to clean up before they came back for lunch.”

Xemnas hums and surveys the kitchen again. He’s just as aloof looking as he always was on the news reports. He’s handsome, but unlike his twin brother, there’s a coldness to his features. Ansem is almost always smiling or emoting in some way, but there’s none of that same animation on Xemnas’s face. His long silver hair, cut shorter than Ansem’s, hangs loose about his face, and maybe Axel’s petty, but he thinks his looks a lot better. His eyes, however...they’re captivating if not in a way Axel likes.

“You had them cooking then? That’s hardly a useful way to train them.” Xemnas’s face is a polite mask and Axel would love to grab a sponge, soak it, and throw it at him. Maybe that’d wipe off the mask and his face would match the smugness leaking into his tone.

Axel turns back to the sink and the dishes he’s loading in for a soak. “They have plenty of regular training going on. A break is good for mental health while the other departments sort through the information your scanners collected. Regular training while they’re under pressure could lead to injuries and an overall degradation in morale.”  _ Yeah, that’s right. I know my fucking shit and I know that it’s useful. _

“I suppose they are young enough that such interference would be necessary.” Xemnas takes the few steps necessary to look down at the waiting noodles and  _ nikujaga. _ It puts him back in Axel’s view. “You didn’t feel that neither I nor my partner need be invited?”

“I only required the two teams I was asked to work with.  _ Tsunami _ and  _ Wayward’s _ teams came since it sounded like a worthy exercise. I would never presume that your schedule needed my involvement, Ranger Conli.” Axel dunks a smaller pot on the water, his fingers clenching on its handles. He’s purposefully kept away from Xemnas. If Isa is happy with his current partnership, that’s all that  _ matters. _ Axel thought his partner might have the same sense of courtesy, but clearly, Xemnas has something to prove.  _ Or he’s just an asshole! _

Xemnas chuckles. “Good. Then you do know something about how things work here. The last thing Isa needs is for you to try and drag him down again. Everyone might trumpet about how  _ wonderful _ you were at the drift, but clearly, you were never the partner he needed. I mean, abandoning him after that last attack? You must not have cared for him at all.”

He says it so politely, the knife’s edge hidden under the veneer of calm discussion.

Axel is going to throw this pot at him for it. He whirls, scattering water and soap over himself and the floor, but does leave the pot in the sink.

“I didn’t leave because I didn’t care about him; I left because I knew he deserved better than me! So don’t you fucking  _ dare _ say I did it because I didn’t fucking care!” Axel jabs a finger toward him. Xemnas just lifts an unimpressed eyebrow. “Get the fuck out of my kitchen, Conli,” Axel spits. “You’re his partner now. Instead of trying to get under my skin, maybe you should go make sure he’s actually taking care of himself. Or do you think you’re already doing that?”

They stare at each other, Axel’s chest heaving from anger. Xemnas folds his arms across his chest, his eyes shine with some sort of twisted humor, and he opens his mouth to say-.

“Xemnas,” Isa says, appearing in the kitchen doorway like a silent wraith. His expression is the flat unreadable one, who knows how much he heard. He looks at Xemnas, not even a flick of his gaze towards Axel. “They need you with  _ Ethereal. _ They’re not entirely sure how you wove together the wiring for the regular scanner in her with the particle scanner.”

“Ah, of course. I will go stop them from breaking our dear  _ Ethereal. _ Thank you, Isa.” Xemnas unfolds his arms and moves Isa’s direction. He puts a hand to Isa’s shoulder as he passes him, squeezing it, but his gaze and his smirk flick to Axel as he does it. “Lunch soon, but perhaps we should go to the city for dinner this evening. It’s about time you and I had a break.”

Isa’s eyes move slowly to Axel even as he nods. “If we have time,” he tells Xemnas.

Xemnas smirks wider at Axel and then leaves the kitchen.

His hands are still dripping water and soap onto the floor. His hair is tied back into a messy tail and he’s still so angry. He is nothing like the put together  _ bastard _ of a great ranger that is Isa’s partner. Axel takes a breath and grabs a towel to dry his hands off. He doesn’t look at Isa directly, but he sees Isa move.

Isa grabs one of the dumplings, takes a bite, and nods. Axel meets his gaze for a second, but Isa is still so unreadable. With a squeak of his boot, Isa pivots on the ball of his foot and leaves the kitchen. Axel slumps forward, both hands on the counter. So much for being relaxed himself. He sighs. “What the fuck was that.”

Whatever Isa must have with Xemnas, Axel is going to keep himself far, far away from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm so yeah, there's Xemnas's jealousy issues for you lol


	11. Chapter 11

‘A Shatterdome never sleeps’ is an old PPDC adage. There’s too much to be done, too many sensors to watch, too many repairs to make for everyone to sleep through the night. Things might get quieter, but it’s nearly impossible to find a place where it actually feels like you’re alone in the world in the dead of night.

Axel doesn’t even have the excuse of work for why he’s up at two in the fucking morning. Nope, his brain just decides some nights that sleep is not and will not be happening and damn the consequences when he collapses of exhaustion later. Insomnia, it’s a beautiful fucking curse. Normally, he’d keep to his room and keep his little sleep problem to himself - but tonight, it feels like the walls are closing in and suffocating him. If he stayed in there another minute, he’d start screaming and he really doesn’t want to find out if the walls are thick enough for that.

Slipping out into the hall feels illegal, reminds him of his old ranger days where they were  _ encouraged _ to sleep through the night whenever they were able, and he failed every third night. Sometimes, a man just can’t sleep and the Marshal should recognize that. Remembering his old days, his steps turn down the hall before he can overthink. 

He stops by the kitchen, steals a few bottles that he’s definitely going to pay for in the morning, and then lets his feet carry him down the wider hall. The door to the hangar is wide open still - the work on the Jaegers only stops when they’re in perfect condition. Axel slips in and hugs the right wall. Passing through shadows, then light, then shadows, he circles the edge of the hangar.

The Jaegers are all illuminated, light up like stars ready for their next show as their work crews scurry around them with all the primping tools giant robots require. Axel snorts at himself and looks for the closest set of stairs as he reaches one dim corner. There must be a way up…

A rolling set of stairs with locks on has been placed at the bottom of the scaffolding and Axel taps it with a foot before he starts to climb up. It’d be pretty damn embarrassing to go up and not be able to get back down. But the stairs stay put and he’s able to climb and climb and climb. He climbs until he and  _ Eclipse _ are eye to eye, and then he sits.

The old Jaeger’s lights are off still. Only emergency orange lights give this area any sort of illumination. It casts her in a gloomy light and Axel twists the top off the first bottle. He toasts  _ Eclipse _ with the beer and then takes a long drink. The alcohol isn’t that strong, isn’t really that good, but it burns a bit and gives him hope for sleep in the next couple hours.

_ Eclipse _ watches over him with her dark visored gaze. The long spike on top of her head seems to point right at him, demanding answers. If he owes them to anyone besides Isa, he owes them to her.

He sighs and takes another long drink. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. It seemed like the right thing to do, but maybe...I never really believed he actually hated me. Maybe I thought we’d see each other and it’d be just like the fucking movies. Pilots reunited after one gone missing! Their beautiful love coming together to destroy the Kaiju forever! Wouldn’t that be fucking nice. Too bad I’m a fucking wreck.”

Another drink and his whole throat is burning. No one’s here to see him for the mess he actually is, no one but  _ Eclipse. _ She was inside his head, she already knows. She was there.

“It used to be easy, didn’t it?”

The first time, their very first time was like goddamn magic made real.

* * *

“We’re doing this, we’re really doing this.” Axel exhales, shaking his hands out since he can’t bounce in place. His feet are locked into the mechanics of the Jaeger, blocked from all movements until they put the effort in to try and walk. And they’re under orders to not walk while doing a test run in the hangar. “Isa, we’re actually doing this.”

“Did you think all the tests and training were a joke?” Isa lifts an eyebrow, but there’s humour tucked into the corners of his mouth. “We’ve done the simulations even.”

“That’s different,” Axel argues immediately. “That was a test. This is...this is really us  _ drifting _ in a  _ Jaeger. _ That’s real.”

Isa sighs. “You’re working yourself up. We know what it’ll be like. We know each other better than anyone else even without being in each other’s heads.” He looks forward, through the giant window that is  _ Eclipse’s _ eyes. Isa almost smiles. “Unless you have secrets you’ve been hiding from me?”

“Oh yeah, you’ll finally know about how I’m actually a vampire and that’s why my sleeping schedule is so fucked.” Axel grins at him. “Sorry I never bit you when we were thirteen.”

“There are other people who can hear us,” Isa points out, face flushing. “Or will be shortly.”

“Oops.” Axel rubs a hand over his helmet since he can’t rub his face. “Joking?”

Isa rolls his eyes. They’re both saved by the line clicking on and command telling them to prepare for the drift. They get a rundown of the rules, shit they’ve been told a thousand times, and Axel’s ready to vibrate out of his skin.

They’re doing this. They’re going to be in each other’s heads. He misses the start of the countdown, only tuning back in as he hears a clear voice say, “Two, one.” Lightning crawls up his spine and  _ then-. _

**_[Neural Handshake Initiated]_ **

_ She’s small, very small, and can crawl her way into places no one else can reach. It’s how she found her hideout! She’s hidden her favorite things there, including the best candy so no one else can take it from her. It’s her special place and there’s a gap in the tarp hanging over the top where she can watch the sky. _

_ He likes the corner of the library where nobody goes. It’s always quiet there, only one of the librarians ever comes back and she always smiles at him as she shelves books or takes them. It’s the best spot because he can peek through the shelves and see what time it is through the big window on the other side. If the sun is setting, it’s time to go home. _

_ The neighbors change a lot. People move in and out and sometimes they have kids, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they have a dog and those are the best people! Lea sits up on the fence every time someone moves in and keeps watch to see. This time, a kid is out in the backyard, lifting a flower and watching the wind tug at it. Lea laughs at his serious face. _

_ They hide their laughter in each other’s shoulders, both of them smeared with mud. “They’re going to kill us,” Lea chokes out into Isa’s shoulder. “We have to get the mud off before we go home and get caught.” Isa nods, but he holds on for another second, both of them still shaking with excitement. Lea’s nothing but trouble, but Isa wants to be-. _

_ A monster attacks the coast for days and they can only watch in horror. Five days before it came out of the ocean, Axel told Isa that he had finally decided on a new name. They had plans, so many plans for how to tell people, for what to do if people were awful about it. Now it all seems so small as they clutch hands and watch a monster finally, finally die. Isa looks at Axel and despite the trembling of their hands, Axel’s eyes are bright with anger. _

_ Finally, a monster they can fight with more than words. “Isa, what if we tried to be-.” _

Jolted back into his body and the present, Axel gasps. His head is full of memories, his and Isa’s, but they quickly roll back as he lets them go. There’s only the feeling, the presence of something pressed against his mind. He looks at Isa and Isa is staring down at his hands.

Axel curls the fingers of his left and watches Isa do the same. Isa looks up and he’s pale, but steady. Axel  _ feels _ it when Isa is going to curl their right fist and grins as they move at the same time. They don’t even need words, they can feel each other and the Jaeger. “Hey,” Axel says anyway. “We did it. We’re here.”

Isa smiles back. “We’re here.”

They turn their attention to command, to the first exercises and actions that every new ranger team must perform, but Axel’s whole chest is afire with the fact that he and Isa have done it.  _ Heliacal Eclipse _ is theirs. Hopefully, they do her proud.

* * *

“We did for a bit, didn’t we?” Axel swirls the beer in its bottle, not quite looking  _ Eclipse _ in the eye. “The three of us went out there and saved people. We killed Kaiju, killed the monsters before they could wipe whole cities out again. That’s something to be proud of, isn’t it?”

The Jaeger doesn’t answer. She has no power, no mind without the people inside her. Yet another thing he abandoned when he left.

Axel takes a drink and slumps forward, elbows on his knees. “Too bad I couldn’t last. I always knew Isa was better than me, smarter and stronger. I was just...the funny one, the one good at making sure we ate and that he remembered how to smile. That’s important, but...it’s not what he really needed.”

“It’s not what the world needed from us.”

He closes his eyes, but there’s no hiding the memories from himself. Not here, not with  _ Eclipse _ looking on.

* * *

It was a normal run. The alarms went off, they suited up, they climbed into  _ Eclipse _ , and they drifted together. They launched out into the ocean as command tracked the Kaiju, figured out its size and possible strength. It  _ was _ a normal run.

“Kaiju path has diverged! It’s moving faster than our sensors picked up!”

“It’s heading for the city from the other side!  _ Eclipse, _ move to intercept. Follow the route we’ve sent to you!”

“Fuck,” Axel hisses the word and thinks ten more that are worse. He and Isa pump their legs, moving  _ Eclipse _ as fast as she can go. It will take a Jaeger a while to get up to speed, but they make her move. She groans around them, voicing complaints, but they go.

“Kaiju has breached the surface.  _ Eclipse, _ how far-.”

“Two minutes,” Isa snaps. “We have visual.”

Axel presses his lips together. Evacuation is happening, has to be close to done. If the alarms go off in the Shatterdome, alarms go off in the city telling everyone to seek shelter. If the Kaiju knocks down a few buildings before they get there, those can be rebuilt. 

They can see the hulking shape of its back, curved with a line of spikes running down its spine. It can’t be very big to move that fast, so they’ll be able to stop it in no time.

They ram  _ Eclipse _ between the beast and its next targeted building, snapping their hands around its head. The Kaiju roars its displeasure and tosses its head, neck muscles bulging. It’s surprisingly forceful and they lose their grip. Isa mutters something rude and they activate the arm blades at the same time.

When they swing again, the Kaiju lifts a hand to try and stop them. It gets nothing but heated metal that cuts right through its claws. It screams as half of its hand falls to the ground. They don’t give it a second to recover. They swing their other arm, aiming for its neck.

The Kaiju snaps its head around, grabbing the arm in its jaws. The blades grind against its teeth and its thick jaw, whining as they get nowhere. Axel retracts the blades before they start snapping off as Isa gets their other hand on its nose. Slowly, they start to pry the Kaiju’s mouth open to free the arm. 

It fights them, other foreleg coming up to claw at the arm slowly prying its nose up. The damage quickly goes from surface scratches to the concerning hiss and spit of torn open tubes and wires. Errors pop up and Axel wants to spit. He has jaw clenched too tight to actually do it and they’ve got more important things to handle first. “Hey Isa,” he grinds out. “Remember what everyone complained about me when we were kids?”

He can feel Isa’s momentary confusion and then something that’s almost resigned humor. “I do,” Isa says.

Together they pull  _ Eclipse’s _ head back and then headbutt the Kaiju’s nose. Their horn rips the top of its snout and it lets go to roar in pain. They rip their arm free.  _ Eclipse’s _ arms swing out to her sides with a snap and a sizzle as both sets of blades pop out again. “You’re dead!” Axel shouts.

The Kaiju has blood dripping from its hand and its snout now. It snorts, shaking its head and blood splatters the surroundings with the telltale sizzle of toxin. Command is warning about the possibility of it running, but Axel and Isa already know. The smaller ones always try to disappear and ambush them. They lunge first.

Before they get a hit in, the Kaiju lunges within their reach _. _ The full force of its body slams into  _ Eclipse _ and they stagger, trying to correct for the weight before they hit the ground. Falling in a Jaeger is a death sentence and they plant  _ Eclipse’s _ feet before she can drop. The Kaiju wraps its whole clawed hand around their visor, claws digging into the metal with a shriek.

“Shit, shit,  _ shit.” _ Axel knows he’s the one swearing, but he can feel the same thing ringing through Isa’s head. They get their hands on the Kaiju, swiping at its hide with the heated blades. Blue blood sizzles against their hands, but the Kaiju refuses to release them and back-off.

Another alarm blares at them as something slams into their legs and digs in. The damn thing is hanging from their front, using all its force to crush their head. “Isa-.”

“Time for serious measures.” Isa looks over at him. “I’ve got it.”

Axel hates shoving the hold on Isa, but he needs a hand free. He nods sharply and drops active control. Isa growls, his arms shaking as he keeps hold of the Kaiju, keeping it from killing them both. He only has to endure it for seconds. Axel jabs two buttons on the control panel between them. “ _ Eclipse _ doesn’t like parasites,” Axel spits. “Get off!” He hits a third button hard and then grabs his half back from Isa.

With a whirring noise, spikes twist out from  _ Eclipse’s _ shoulders, upper arms, and one on each side of her head. They only have to turn their head slightly to jam one of them directly into the Kaiju’s hand. Its grip scrabbles for a better position, but now they’ve got plenty to work with to pin those claws on their shoulders.

The Kaiju shrieks and screams and slams a hand to the faceplate. There’s a concerning groan, but it holds. “We have to finish this.” Isa slashes at its neck, but the thrashing keeps both of them from landing a good hit. “Why is this damn thing so strong? Let’s just-.”

“ _ Eclipse!” _ Command is suddenly loud in their ears and they both flinch.

“What?” Axel snaps. “We’re a little  _ busy _ here!”

“Get Snakebiter back in the water! One of the evacuation alarms failed and the blocks to your right are still trying to get everyone to safety.”

It’s like plunging into the ocean mid-winter. Axel looks at Isa, but doesn’t have to see it in his eyes to feel the echo of his horror. There are people out here, people close to them while they’re in the middle of fighting a fucking Kaiju. “Quickly,” Isa says. “Push it back.”

Together they slam their arms around the now-named Snakebiter, holding it against  _ Eclipse. _ It thrashes and shrieks, not pleased with her spikes and blades cutting into its hide from all angles. They ignore it, focused only on holding the beast and dragging it back out to sea.  _ Eclipse’s _ leg groans as they lift it and force her forward one step, two. It’s painfully slow, but it’s more time for more people to get to safety with every second.

Snakebiter claws at everything it can reach, tearing through metal plates on their back with an awful scream. They ignore it, fixated only on moving it away. 

They didn’t think about the claws hooked into  _ Eclipse’s _ legs until too late.

The warning only pops up a second before the leg gives out.  _ Eclipse _ stumbles, jarring their grip on Snakebiter. One leg is spitting fluid like a broken dam and the other is close to shredded down to its workings. They have to put a hand to the ground to keep from full collapse and Snakebiter rips itself free.

The Kaiju jumps away, staggering over its own injuries. It would bleed out if they let it go, but they can’t. Axel grinds his teeth together. “What do we do, Isa?”

Isa is staring at the ground. He takes a breath that shudders through him. “What we have to. We have to stop it.”

“Right.” Axel is going to sleep for a fucking week after this, maybe a month.

They shove  _ Eclipse _ upright. The leg still spilling fluid won’t hold them, but the other is enough. Snakebiter shrieks at them, tail lashing and covered in its own blood. At least no Kaiju ever truly turns from facing a Jaeger. The threat is too great to put a back to. They limp forward and Snakebiter lunges at them. 

They slam a hand into its face, almost snapping its neck. They dig their fingers in, trying to get a hold.  _ Slash its neck open and this will be over. _ They bring the other arm up, but the damn thing thrashes. Their grip slips in the blood splattered over its face and Snakebiter’s teeth grab  _ Eclipse’s _ arm again.

“Dammit!” Axel tries to get the blades going, but the Kaiju already has its teeth dug in. It begins to crush the metal of the arm, the whole thing shrieking.

“This isn’t working.” Isa’s pale, pieces of his hair stuck to his cheeks, and Axel can feel the way his emotions are shaking. “Axel, we have to-.”

“Command,” Axel snaps. “How much longer to full evacuation?”

“We don’t know. With the alarm failure, we’re depending on people on the ground.”

Axel looks at Isa. “There could still be people out there. We just have to hold it.”

More metal shrieks as Snakebiter wrenches on their arm. Red light flashes over both of them as yet another warning goes off. The reflection hides Isa’s face for a moment. When it stops, Axel can’t feel anything from Isa except a hard stone of intention.

“We can’t,” Isa says firmly. “It’s torn us to shreds. There’s only one thing to do.” He drops control from his left arm and lifts a hand to the control panel. “A controlled blast will kill it.”

Axel struggles to hold Snakebiter as he tries to process the suddenly shaky connection with Isa.  _ No, we’re in this together. We’ve always been in this together. _ Axel shoves his emotions back at Isa: desperation and fear and hope that there’s still a way out. “Isa, we can’t do that. The fallout-.”

“We don’t have a choice!” Isa shouts over the shriek of metal, of jaws wrenching at their arm, and the alarms that spell their defeat. “We don’t have time to cut it apart.  _ Eclipse _ is almost dead, Axel!” His eyes are hard when he looks at Axel and despite all of his swirling emotions, Isa gives him nothing in return.

Snakebiter rips at their arm again and Axel bites back a scream as electricity sears through his arm. Isa hisses too, clenching his eyes shut. In another moment, they’ll be down an arm and a leg.

Isa opens his eyes again. They glitter despite the red light hanging over them both. Despite the cold knot of emotions Isa is holding in his chest, he looks at Axel with sadness. “We have to,” Isa says and then presses the button.

_ Heliacal Eclipse _ is powered by a nuclear reactor. In case of great trouble, as a final tactic, she can mimic the celestial bodies she’s named for. Her warning lights glow a burning yellow as her reactor heats. Axel closes his eyes as the roar shakes through their Jaeger and nuclear heat ejects from several ports.

Snakebiter is dead before it hits the ground.

Two city blocks around them are destroyed.

More suffer from the radiation.

Civilians dead, missing, and sick number in the hundreds, soon to be thousands.

Axel watches the number rise in numb acceptance that this will be their legacy. The alarm failure, the failure of the PPDC’s Jaeger team to kill the Kaiju before it made land, the dead and dying are all discussed, turned into fodder against them. The PPDC stands beside them, stands beside Isa’s decision, and truthfully, everyone else is thankful that the Kaiju wasn’t left to run rampant through the city. But logic is not the way people face tragedy. 

_ Eclipse _ is blamed, the PPDC is blamed, and Axel and Isa must face it all. They do, somehow, but Axel is unable to look anyone in the eyes. Isa takes it all with a face like stone. It’s only when they’re alone that Isa cracks - but only cracks, he doesn’t break. They lean against each other in a room that used to feel warmer and say nothing. They hold onto one another and Isa says, quietly, “We saved more than we hurt.”

It doesn’t feel that way. Axel hardly sleeps, remembering the city afterward, remembering the faces shown on the news, the pictures people desperately clutched as they looked for their loved ones. They did this - Isa pressed the button, but Axel knows, really, that there’s nothing else they could have done. It doesn’t stop the faces or the destruction from haunting him.

He has a panic attack the next time he and Isa step back into  _ Heliacal Eclipse. _ It’s not even for a run, just a bit of maintenance and testing, but Axel panics. All he can hear is the roar and imagine yet more lives ended by their actions. He can’t hold the handshake, can’t pull himself from the memory, and Isa...Isa doesn’t know what to say to him. It’s obvious that he wants to snap, to tell Axel that they had to, but he stays quiet and tries to help.

But there’s no helping this. They don’t have time for him to sort his head out. The PPDC, the world, and everyone in it needs them to be Jaeger pilots, needs them to be the heroic rangers that stop the Kaiju and save everyone. But they didn’t save everyone and Axel can’t  _ do it anymore. _

He tries. He fucking tries to do what the therapist suggests, tries to focus only on Isa and his memories, but every time he hears that fucking roar and falls apart. So, he does what he should have from the start - Axel leaves.

He gives the Marshal his resignation, refusing to look Aeleus in the eyes and see the pity there. He packs up his stuff while Isa’s down in the hangar looking after  _ Eclipse, _ and then he waits. Axel failed, but he owes it to Isa to explain rather than run off without a word. Before all this, they were best friends.

Isa turns the corner at the end of their hall and stops dead. Axel keeps his arms crossed over his chest, his bag at his feet. It’s probably pathetic that this will be the worst moment of his life despite the blood on his hands. He looks up to meet Isa’s eyes and can already see the anger building. “What,” Isa asks, shortly, “are you doing?”

“I’m leaving. I resigned.” Axel taps his foot against his bag and looks down. He deserves this, deserves whatever is coming because he’s doing the one thing he knows Isa will never truly forgive him for. “I can’t-I can’t do this, Isa. You did the right thing, but I can’t sleep, I can’t pilot, and I can’t keep holding you back when they  _ need _ you.”

“You expect me to pilot  _ Eclipse _ on my own?!” Isa strides toward him, but his hands are clenched at his sides. “Axel, what do you think you’re do-.”

Axel lifts his head and wishes he could make his voice snap, but all he has is exhausted acceptance. “I’m sorry, Isa. Really, I am. You deserve so much fucking better than me.”

Isa’s face is twisted up like he doesn’t know whether to start crying or scream in rage. It’s not the first time Axel has seen it, but it is the first time he’s been the central cause. Isa quivers with his emotions, they threaten to boil over, boil right out of his skin. Isa holds them, barely, as he glares at Axel. “So, you’d abandon everything over one incident. You’re leaving  _ me _ to do this because I’m  _ what?” _

“Strong enough,” Axel says quietly. “You were always stronger.”

Silence falls between them like a heavy curtain. Axel knows he should say more, but what is there to say? Isa made the call, made the  _ right _ call, but Axel can’t do it again. He can’t be there and see more people die because of them. It makes him a coward, but all his bravery was always a front anyway.

He shifts his weight between his feet and then picks up his bag. “I’m sorry,” he says again, turning away from Isa. “I know you’ll find a real partner.”

Isa says nothing and Axel refuses to look back. He gets to the end of the hall, pauses, and then steps around the corner.

Only then does Isa shout after him. “You blame me for it and  _ now _ you’re running away! Fine then,  _ leave!” _ It echoes off the walls, doing nothing to hide the way Isa’s voice cracks. He’s upset and it always seems to come out as anger for Isa.

Axel takes a breath and keeps walking. He can’t fix it, no matter how much he wants to. So he’ll find somewhere else to be useful. Anonymous and useful.

* * *

“Never really did get my head straight, but hey, somehow I figured out how to sleep again.” Axel tips the empty bottle back and forth on the platform. “You know...most nights.” He considers letting the bottle fall off, counting the seconds until it shatters on the ground below, but that’s treading into intrusive thought territory. He sets the bottle back a foot from the edge.

Leaning back on his hands, he stares at  _ Eclipse. _ He did right by Isa, if not in the way that would have been best for them. Isa’s got a new partner, one who can weather the war at Isa’s side. Sure, Xemnas seems like a  _ dick, _ but he’s gotta be a good ranger to be with Isa this long.

Axel sighs. “I wish I could do something for you. It’ll feel like watching my own arm go out when they send you out with some new team.” Maybe he won’t still be here then.  _ Ha! Yeah right. You’re in it till the end now, Avery. They gave you kids to care about and train. You’re fucked. _ “Yeah,” he mutters. “I definitely am.”

What was the point in this? The buzzing in his head is only a bit softer and he’s nowhere near tired. He’s not going to magically find an answer, a way to have Isa forgive him and make him the perfect Jaeger pilot again. He’s here to train the real pilots, to watch Isa save the world, and he has to be happy with that.

Is he happy with that?  _ Eclipse _ can’t ask, but he can pretend she’s aware enough to care. It would be her future if he managed to change.

Axel considers the beer bottle he has left and then twists the top off. “It’s better than it was before,” he says. “Let me tell you about the shit I’ve dealt with since I left.”

_ Heliacal Eclipse _ is a machine made to fight monsters, but Axel can appreciate someone here who’s willing to listen about his life since he left them behind.

_ “Do you ever hear something else while we’re drifting?” _

_ “No. Do you?” _

_ “Not really, but I like to think she’s happy to have us around.” _

_ “You would want the giant metal machine to be our friend.” Isa snorts a laugh and holds his fork towards Eclipse. “We’ll have to split the cake three ways then.” _

_ “Oh shut up!” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there it is! Thoughts? :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Fuck 2020, welcome to 2021! My goal for the year is to finish this fic which is in the realm of possibility, wooooo! 
> 
> I got the art/production book for Christmas so I'm so fucking pumped to keep building this fic out.

Pages and pages of data pile into impressive stacks of paper - their scans of the Breach gave them tons of information about its energy and its shape, and plenty more that it will take them ages to decipher. What it didn't tell them is how to shut it. There is nothing in the rows of numbers, the graphs, or the stark words that points them in a clear direction, that gives them a true lead. They will learn plenty, but it is the study of years.

Junior's latest prediction gives them mere weeks until humanity is ground into the dust - like the dinosaurs they will be extinct, fallen to a foe they cannot understand or stop.

To say that things are grim after Junior and Xemnas's presentation is to be too generous. The lab feels like a morgue, all of them waiting to be placed in the fire or the ground. Aeleus exhales heavily and dismisses them all. "We will find a way, but it won't come if we don't rest. Clearer minds will help us find another path."

None of them argue, but Isa stopped truly believing in the brighter side of things years ago. Xemnas places a hand on his shoulder, makes the offer for another dinner out, but Isa would rather lock himself in a room and scream than deal with the public. He turns Xemnas down politely and then goes to the only place he can really be alone.

_ Heliacal Eclipse _ has no reason to still be here whole. They have newer and better Jaegers, ones with active teams and constant maintenance. But she's here, surviving on despite that they both left her to rot. She sits in her lonely corner of the hangar, quiet and still, and gathers dust. At least no one ever comes back here to disturb her.

No one but Isa and he treasures that her company is the one thing that never disrupts his life. No matter what responsibilities swallow his time, no matter who needs his help next, he can sit in the quiet with  _ Eclipse _ and think about none of it.

He’s thinking entirely too much today as he finally settles on top of one of her feet. Isa slumps against her leg, uncaring of dust or oil spreading to his hair. He’s so very, very tired and he sees no way out now. “Clearer minds,” he says quietly. “I don’t think mine has been clear ever.” No, he pushes everything back, puts thoughts and feelings in their places, but he doesn’t ever forget them. They’re always there, waiting for the next moment he thinks he can breathe.

“Was it easier with you or was it that we understood less back then? I know I knew nothing no matter how much I learned.” Isa sighs and lets his eyes drop closed. “There must be a way. How could we fight this long and this hard and still be doomed? But what are we supposed to do if there’s no way to shut it?”

Like always,  _ Eclipse _ has no answers to give. She’s dead and empty, a relic of the past and a monument to when Isa stepped over the line from hero to ranger. Heroes are praised and celebrated - they save the world. Rangers kill monsters, do the hard things, and keep standing even when everyone is demanding more. Isa has to keep standing, he swore he would even when things began to crumble.

“There has to be a way to do this. There must be.” Blindly, he traces the parts of  _ Eclipse _ with a finger, letting his thoughts swirl without direction.  _ A clearer mind will help find the answer. There  _ **_is_ ** _ an answer. _

But how the hell are they going to find it?

* * *

The next day, Isa is arguably more clear-headed, but only because he focuses on things that he can easily accomplish. He checks with  _ Superior’s _ team, making sure that the scanners have been removed and she has passed her latest inspection. He checks on the other Jaegers, checks on the latest ranger health scans, checks on the supply lists that aren’t even his business.

He works and keeps busy and doesn’t think about how they’re still fighting blind.

“Isa!” The shout is loud and very obviously panicked, echoing down the hall. Isa isn’t the only one who turns to look, but the shouter, Even, is focused only on him. Even sprints to him, one hand grabbing Isa’s shoulder. “Go to the lab and keep an eye on Ienzo. I need to find Aeleus and Dilan.”

_ That’s bad. _ No shit, Isa wants to tell himself. He nods sharply to Even. “Last I saw, Aeleus was in his office. Dilan might be there too - I know they were planning to meet.”

“I pray they are,” Even mutters. He sweeps the hair that’s fallen from his bun away from his face and points back the way he came. “The lab,  _ please. _ I doubt Junior knows enough to keep him from hurting himself further.”

Isa nods and moves quickly down the hall. He can hear Even take off again, shouting for everyone to get out of his way. It’s not  _ unusual _ behavior for the scientist, so it shouldn’t panic anyone else. Isa feels like he should be running, but contains himself to a very fast walk. Whatever it is, whoever is hurt, it’s better that he finds out and then decides if it’s worth panicking other people.

Logic doesn’t stop him from slamming open one of the doors to the lab. “What happened?”

For a moment, he doesn’t see anyone. Then Junior looks up, glaring at him from over by the large specimen tanks. “Stop shouting. Iskald was bad enough already.” He looks down again, shoulder moving as he does...something.

Isa crosses the room quickly. Once he’s rounded Junior’s computer station, he can see just what has sent Even into a panic. Ienzo is slumped on the ground, back against one of the tanks, and patting vaguely at the blood trickling from his nose. He’s clearly dazed, a mess of machinery piled between him and the tank. Isa follows the wire lines from some sort of device packed with neural readers that is lying beside Ienzo’s hip into a machine still beeping some sort of warning. More wires curl from the other side, dropping toward the floor until they rise back up and into-.

“What the hell did he do?” Isa kneels down beside them, placing a hand on Ienzo’s shoulder. “Please tell me that is not what I think it is.”

“If you think it’s a neural bridge made out of scavenged Jaeger shit that he plugged into a Kaiju brain, congratulations, you’re correct. And he’s the dumbest person in this fucking base.” Junior takes Ienzo’s wrist and presses the towel he’s holding back to his nose. “Ienzo, I am going to kill you dead.”

“Thanks,” Ienzo mutters. His visible eye is clearly having trouble focusing. When he shifts, his bangs move and Isa can see that at least one blood vessel has burst in that eye.

Isa sighs. “Ienzo,  _ why?” _

“We needed more information.” Ienzo dabs at the blood from his nose, grimacing as he looks at the state of the towel. “So I went to the source.”

“The source being some bit of a brain Iskald got from who knows where,” Junior mutters.

Isa has a vague idea of where, but he’s not going to explain right now. He looks up at the tank, at the bit of brain floating inside it that has had a very large probe jammed into it that probably conducts brain waves enough for a godforsaken drift. He lifts his other hand and pinches his nose. “Dr. Iskald was quite upset. How are you feeling?”

Ienzo pulls the towel away from his nose and doesn’t look at it this time. He tries to meet Isa’s eyes, but blinks rapidly and tilts. Junior catches him from that side and gets him upright again. A master of humor, Ienzo says, “I’m fine.”

“He was having some sort of seizure when we got here,” Junior says with frustration. “He’s lucky his brain still  _ works. _ ”

“Drama king,” Ienzo mutters and rubs at his eye. “It was a bit more than I was prepared for, but I hadn’t entirely worked out how to implement the safety catches for a damn Kaiju brain. Next time, I’ll-.”

“Next time?!” Junior explodes.

Isa grabs him by the shoulder. “Get him a glass of water. He has lots of explaining to do.”

Junior glares at him, but stands up and stomps over to the sink. Isa looks at Ienzo who only sighs. “This,” Isa says slowly, “was not your best plan. Did you learn anything from it?” He adjusts Ienzo’s slump against the tank, making sure he’s not about to fall over. 

“Morally? No, I have no lesson to preach. Regarding our work, I learned a good bit, though not as much as I’d like.” Ienzo squints at him, but his nose has stopped bleeding for the moment. “I have a godawful headache, so I’d rather explain it to everyone at once. I’m sure that’s where Even ran off to.”

“You’re lucky he didn’t drag you straight to the Marshal’s office for an explanation and a lecture.” Isa smiles at him slightly.

“That’s going to happen either way,” Ienzo mutters and covers his eyes with a hand. “I had to do it. We needed more information, Isa. You know we don’t have time to sit around and  _ hope _ some scan finally gives us the information we really need to finish them all off.”

Isa presses his lips together. They do, they need actual answers and a direction. They have the right tools, hopefully, but no idea how to use them. “...And you thought the animal-like Kaiju would have enough understanding of their situation to give us the information we need?”

Ienzo lifts his hand enough to glare at Isa with one eye. “It’s more than we had before. Shut it.”

Isa holds his other hand up, not quite conceding the conversation. Junior returns, glass in hand, and completes their triangle. “You’re an arrogant idiot,” he says sharply to Ienzo and offers him the water. He keeps hold of it as Ienzo wraps a hand around it, all three of them aware of just how shaky Ienzo is.

He manages a few sips and they have perhaps two quiet minutes before hurried footsteps reach them from the hall. The doors bang open and Isa stands, leaving Ienzo to Junior. Even’s the first in, but Aeleus is right on his heels. “Isa,” Even snaps. “Where’s Ienzo?”

“Right where I found him, sir. He’s still conscious.” Isa gestures to the ground and steps aside as Even and Aeleus both hurry over.

Dilan enters last, breathing heavily, but he smacks the doors shut before coming over. He stops beside Isa, leaning hard on his cane. “Idiot, idiot,  _ idiot _ scientists,” he mutters. “If I could just get the kid to stick with Jaeger coding, this shit wouldn’t happen.”

“He’d probably try driving a Jaeger on his own, knowing him,” Isa mutters back. Dilan exhales through his nose and doesn’t argue. “He seems alright, just quite shaken up,” Isa continues. “He needs a brain scan done, but he could focus on us and speak clearly.”

“More than Even on a coffee bender then.”

Isa coughs so he doesn’t laugh. Junior has backed up to his computer now that Aeleus and Even are both here to look after their son. Ienzo seems a bit annoyed to have them hovering and touching him, but responds to Aeleus’s quiet questions. After a long minute where Isa feels very much like an intruder, Even drags a chair with arms over and Aeleus helps Ienzo up and into it.

They all find chairs and Ienzo straightens up as their attention settles on him. Despite the mess of his hair, the pale color of his skin, and the blood speckled on his lab coat, he looks like someone who knows what he’s talking about. He’s learned more than Kaiju anatomy from Even. Isa pulls up a blank screen on his tablet to take notes.

“The first thing I can confirm is that they are clones. The Kaiju are grown in something like labs and sent here to earth.” Ienzo takes a breath. “They’re grown by these...aliens, I suppose would be most apt. The important thing is that these commanders are intelligent. They grow the Kaiju, they send them through the Breach, and they order them to kill us.”

It’s like ice water replaces his blood. Isa clenches his hands into fists, the tips of his fingers gone cold. Everyone else looks stunned, except for Junior who has dropped his head into one of his hands. Intelligent beings, more than the Kaiju, are directly targeting them.

Ienzo swallows and looks down, fiddling with a button. “It’s not just that they’re sent here as some sort of test or something. They’re sent here to wipe us out. These, these masters are looking to colonize earth, and to do that, they need us out of the way. So they send the Kaiju who go for the largest cities and they wait for most of us to be dead. Except, we actually had a way to fight back, so they had to keep sending them.”

“And now we’re hitting our limit and they’re not. They have tons and tons of Kaiju to send at us until we don’t have anything to fight back with.” Ienzo looks up again. “They opened the Breach to take this planet away from us and they’ve almost succeeded.”

“But what about  _ closing _ it?” Dilan looks ready to leap up and start pacing, his hands flexing around the handle of his cane. “If you got this much from that, then-.”

Ienzo is already shaking his head. “I got a, a glimpse of it. It’s all colors and lights and they come through it with their orders-.”

“Ienzo,” Even says,his voice softer than Isa has ever heard it. “Did you see how they open it?” He leans forward slightly, resting his hand on Ienzo’s arm.

It works. Ienzo takes a shaky breath and nods, pulled back from the frantic energy that was building in his voice. “It looks different on their end, but the energy seems the same. It  _ does _ go both ways, so we could conceivably send something through if we figured out how.” He bites his lip, hard enough that it goes white. “But I don’t understand the mechanics of it. It was only part of a brain, so I only got a flash of most things.”

Even nods and then trades a look with Aeleus and Dilan. Isa looks at them in confusion. Why does that make them look...hopeful? Aeleus moves closer to Ienzo, rubbing his arm, and speaking softly again. Isa looks away before it gets more personal than that. He stands and moves to Junior’s side. “Thoughts?”

“What the hell kind of bullshit is this.” Junior scrubs at his face and then up into his hair, tugging his bangs flat against his skull. “We’re literally the prey of these things - they want to wipe us out? This is  _ bullshit.” _ He stares blankly forward as Isa tries to think of something to say beyond just agreeing. This  _ is _ bullshit. But then Junior grins. “But if we can get it closed, think of how pissed they’ll be. You thought you could wipe us out and take the whole planet? We beat them with giant robots and then we smash them right back through their damn dimensional rip.”

“Indeed,” Even says from behind them. He has a card in his hand, a plastic one that Isa can only just spot the PPDC logo on. “But we’ll need more information.” He grimaces. “Unfortunately, that means we need to do the same thing again. We need another Kaiju brain.”

Isa and Junior stare at him. “Even,” Isa says slowly. “You want Ienzo to-.”

“I do not  _ want _ to,” Even snaps, pointing the plastic card at him rather threateningly. “But he did it once and I’d rather he do it with official equipment in a situation I have control over. I will be working with the Jaeger coders to put in safety measures while another brain is fetched.”

“How are you just getting another brain?” Junior squints up at Even. “Where do you get your samples from anyway?”

Even arches an eyebrow and waves the card. “You get to find out. I expect you to be on your best behavior.” He doesn’t hand the card over, but Junior straightens up, expecting it. “You and Ienzo will go meet my contact with the Kaiju parts black market and put in a request for a fresh brain. Return once Demyx has confirmed that he will have it delivered here as soon as possible.” 

He holds the card out and then flicks it back the moment Junior reaches for it. Junior scowls at him. Even smirks slightly. “Not yet. Ienzo needs time to recover first. But, when the two of you do go, Ienzo gets the card because he knows what to ask for. You’re going with him to make sure nobody stabs him.”

“Babysitting,” Junior grumbles. “Fine, only because I want to see the shady business you have your hands in.”

Isa shakes his head. He knew, of course, that most of their samples came from the black market. They don’t have the crew to salvage a Kaiju corpse and they needed the boost in their funding that Even’s contract with the market gets them, but to send his son to get a second Kaiju brain to drift with it again… These truly are dire times.

But maybe they’re finally seeing the right path before them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Junior is YMX if he was his own person in case you're confused. Little Bastard, I love him so much.  
> Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

Not for the first time in his life and probably not for the last time, Axel has to ask himself how in the hell he got here.

In one way, it’s a question born out of happiness. How did he get to a place in life where he can walk down the streets of Hong Kong, breathing in the smell of a million delicious foods? He can’t wait to stop and eat - hopefully before his stomach decides to climb out of his body and do its own food tour. Hong Kong Island is a marvel beyond the food. When the island was attacked by the Kaiju Reckoner in 2016, it was thought that it would be uninhabitable for decades. They might have managed to kill Reckoner, but its blood spilled over the island, contaminating every bit once it got into the soil.

But people are hardy and not easily stopped. They moved back in and used the bones of the damn Kaiju itself as their building materials and supports. It’s not the same city it was before Reckoner came at it, but it’s not a ruin either. So, Axel’s fucking impressed to be able to walk the streets and see it for himself.

On the other hand, he’s being escorted through Hong Kong by Ansem Conli while the man is wearing a shirt that has maybe three buttons done up, but at a glance it’s probably only two.

Axel shoves a hand through his hair as he makes himself look away from Ansem’s shirt. Isn’t he  _ cold? _ Why are they even doing this? Ansem should not be able to cash in on a bet that Axel made only to get him to go away. This is extortion, an agreement made under duress, something! And yet he didn’t really argue when Ansem caught him in the training room today and said they were doing dinner tonight.

_ “You know, since I won the bet that Oblivion would get the kill.” Ansem’s grin had been roguish and annoying and Axel felt any argument die in his throat anyway. _

He doesn’t have to ask himself what that says about him. Axel’s well aware that he’s hit pathetically lonely more than once in the last five years. Still, Ansem’s not making it a date-date...probably. And if he tries, Axel can definitely steer it out of that territory. Which he will do. Definitely. He needs to stop thinking about this.

“If they expect me to eat in the mess after tonight, they’re fucking wrong.” Axel is going to focus on food. Safe, reliable food that has never done him wrong. His stomach is the reliable organ. “Tell the Marshal to make my checks out to the various chefs of Hong Kong because I don’t need a cent of it anymore.”

Ansem snorts. “I think you’re a snob. The food’s fine considering we’re basically without a real budget.”

Axel frowns. “Maybe so, but the people in the kitchen need training from me more than the kids do. I’ve worked with shit budgets where we’re stretching every bit of it and we still ate better than this.”

“You’re a bit of a priss about food, huh?” Ansem is smirking at him, arms folded over his chest. It does nice things for his pecs, but Axel decides not to notice. He can feel the instinctive spike in his temper from hearing the insult, even as...benign as Ansem might be about it.

“Don’t call me that.” Axel pointedly looks at the signs around them. “Where are we going?”

He can’t read Ansem’s face when he’s not looking at him, but he can still feel the man’s gaze. He refuses to turn. If Ansem wants to flirt and tease, he can learn the line Axel’s not willing to let people cross. Ansem exhales quietly and points into Axel’s view. “There. Best place in the city no matter what you’re hungry for. And they know me, so they saved us the best table in the house.” Ansem steps forward and now Axel can see his grin - and the way his eyes watch his face.

It doesn’t seem like Ansem’s going to be an ass about it. Good. Axel’s not opposed to flirting when they’re both doing it just for fun. And there’s no reason to spend the entire night in a bad mood. Axel arches an eyebrow at him. “Does that mean a dark corner or a private room?”

“It means a table with a view and not just of your dining partner.” Ansem sticks the tip of his tongue out and then takes the lead across the street. “Come on since you’ve been  _ starving _ for weeks with us.”

Axel hasn’t even been here more than two weeks; it’s been ten days maybe? Still, he’s definitely been starving. He follows Ansem, catching up easily with his longer legs. He wouldn’t call Ansem short or stocky, but Axel has yet to meet more than a couple men that can actually match his height. Aeleus is both tall and broad and Axel’s pretty sure the man walked out of a mountainside whole. Ansem’s built like a model, tall enough to bring him to people’s attention and then broad through the shoulders in direct contrast to his waist.

He’s definitely heard Roxas and Sora call Ansem a dorito, but it’s not  _ that _ exaggerated. Ansem’s nice looking from top to bottom.

_ Why am I still thinking about this like it’s more than dinner? _

Dinner, it’s time for dinner! Axel focuses on the rumble in his stomach and the way the neon lights all around them contrast nicely with the cozier inside of the restaurant. Dark wooden tables catch the lamp and candle light, making the space feel smaller. It’s definitely a place for couples, none of the tables seat more than two or three. Axel exhales and then immediately inhales. Whoever they’re selling to, the food smells  _ amazing. _

He grabs Ansem’s shoulder. “Take me to the table before I walk right into the kitchen.”

It gets another laugh out of Ansem and he leads Axel through the tables to a set of stairs hidden from the front door. There’s nothing blocking them from going up and there are more tables set upstairs. Ansem heads for the one closest to the windows looking out on the street and pulls out a chair for Axel. “Your seat, sir.”

Axel rolls his eyes, but plops down. Ansem takes the other chair and then leans over and pushes the window further open. The air outside smells like food and people, but a breeze blows past and Axel arches an eyebrow at the smell of the ocean and a building storm. “Is it going to rain?”

“Not for a bit, and I always get so damn hot in here.” Ansem flips his hair so it doesn’t get caught between his back and the chair. He puts his elbows on the table and rests his hands together. “Hence the shirt.”

“Oh sure, that’s why it’s like that.” Axel rolls his eyes. “Not because you know people will look.”

“Art comes in many forms and it’d be criminal not to share it.” Ansem smirks. “Make sure you don’t get anything too alcohol heavy or you’ll be out before we hit dessert.”

Axel snorts. “A subtle thirst joke, but I don’t think so, Conli. I know how to manage myself and having you drag me back drunk and messy is not the image I’m going for.” He looks down at the menu and flips to the drinks. Does he want to drink? Does that invite the wrong impression? No, it’s fine - he knows his limits.

“I suppose you have to maintain the professional image in front of certain eyes. I stopped caring years ago.” Ansem rests his chin lightly on his fingers. “Lunara though, he never unwinds in the public eye.”

It stings against his skin, but it's not so easily waved away as a biting fly. Axel looks up at Ansem without lifting his head. “Exactly.”

Ansem exhales a laugh and taps one of the drinks on the menu. “Try that one.”

“You know, I don’t need a man that tells me exactly what to do.” Axel arches an eyebrow. Too bad Ansem has good taste and that was the drink he was going to order. “I thought your brother was the commanding type and you’re the laid back one.”

Ansem snorts. “Which brother? Xemnas is certainly the one with certain...habits. Junior’s a mess.”

“I knew he was related to you two.” Axel leans back in his chair. “Apparently he’s a genius  _ and _ an asshole from what I hear from the kids.”

“Oh he is.” Ansem waves a hand back and forth. “Genius and good looks, our whole family is blessed with both. Junior’s a mess because he can’t figure out how to ask out Iskald’s boy.”

It’s a good thing they don’t have drinks yet, because Axel would spit everywhere. “Junior’s got a crush on  _ Ienzo? _ No fucking way.” Axel hasn’t spoken much with either of them, but he’s heard plenty from Naminé and Xion about everybody in the K-Science Lab. Xion gets everywhere, how do they do that… Axel shoves a hand through the top of his hair, trying not to laugh. “How?”

Ansem puts a hand to his chest, actually touching skin because said shirt is still hanging open. “The heart wants what it wants - and Junior’s stupid for anyone who picks a fight with him. He has shit taste.”

“Does that run in the family too?” Axel asks cheekily.

“Do you consider yourself shit taste?” Ansem smirks at him across the table.

Axel hums and then looks away as a server approaches their table. “Maybe I do.”

Ansem shakes his head. “Then I’ll just have to convince you otherwise.”

Any reply Axel can think of is thankfully kept behind his lips - he’s not flirting in front of the waiter. They place their orders including the drinks, and Axel leans one elbow on the table. He’s in no rush to resume the flirtation, not when there’s so much else in his head. 

He looks out the windows at the city, at the neon signs and the people weaving amongst each other in the street below. If the buildings weren’t so close here, he’d be able to see the skyscrapers further off, towering over the bay and glowing with a steady light as people went about their work. It’s a different energy than the Shatterdome, very different from the refugee camps he’s been in and out of these last few years. People are living here and maybe there’s some struggle, but it’s a damn step closer to normal than he’s known.

Axel sighs and looks up at the sky. “It’s definitely going to rain.”

“We’ll be fine.” Ansem is leaning back in his chair, his gaze pointed somewhere else in the room. “A little rain won’t hurt us and we can always get a car back to the base.”

“Do you ever worry about anything?” Axel has to ask it, even though he’s  _ seen _ Ansem worried. Was it only days ago that Dilan told them both about how little time there really is? Maybe they both needed this dinner.

Ansem’s honey-brown eyes find Axel’s again. He studies Axel and then smirks. “Only about the important things.”  _ It’s a mask. If he’s relaxed, others can draw from it or he finds his own comfort in it. _ They all cope in their own ways. “Of utmost importance today is this dinner,” Ansem continues. “I wouldn’t want you to think I was the type to leave others...wanting.”

Clearly, Ansem can make anything an entendre if he wants. Axel scoffs. “I would have been fine without. You made that bet with me while I was dealing with a stressful situation.”

“It was a reassurance,” Ansem argues. “I knew they’d be fine, but if your new little charges got the kill then you’d feel even better.” He grins. “I’m a very smart man.”

“I’m sure you are,” Axel says. “Especially since I know you’re the one who fixes up the drift simulator and got it to run new simulations at the Marshal’s request.”

Ansem waves a hand as if to dismiss the work entirely. “A simple computer program isn’t hard to tweak. Xemnas and Junior are the ones who really work with such things - I’m a trainer.”

He is, Axel’s seen him work with Riku and Vanitas especially. But that’s definitely not all there is to Ansem Conli. Axel leans into his palm and pretends to be distracted by the waiter bringing them their drinks. He doesn’t remember Ansem from his days as a ranger, but Xemnas and Ansem must have been around. Xemnas was qualified to be Isa’s next partner afterall. Recent graduates of the academy maybe? Hm.

It’s not really that important, but Axel finds himself wondering anyway. Where did these people come from, the ones that filled the holes left by him and the others who were lost in those five long years? He’s begun to hear from the kids about how they joined up, but he’s curious about the others just as much. Axel sips from his drink - absolutely delicious, damn Ansem for having the same taste as him - and wonders if he should let the conversation go. But it’s meant to be a dinner between co-workers, maybe even a date, and he’ll lose nothing by asking.

“How’d you end up in the program?” Axel sets the glass down, still leaning into his hand. He knows how it looks, his hair falling away from the line of his neck. It used to always catch Isa’s eye and he can see Ansem’s eyes dip to his shoulder. He’s relaxing, just like Ansem’s open shirt is because it gets hot in here.

Ansem flicks his gaze back up to Axel’s face and shrugs. “We were both driven. We had our goals and our desires, and the PPDC was the place to be if you wanted to see something done. A shame it isn’t still, but we’ll know in a few weeks if they should have trusted us all along.” Ansem’s tone is very flat and he takes a drink. It relaxes his face and his tone is lighter as he continues, “But, like I told you, the drift wasn’t for me. So I turned to other things while Xemnas trained and looked for another partner.”

“I’ve always been good at physicality and had an eye for others’ forms. One thing led to another and now I’m Umoya’s second in command. I wonder if that makes me third overall?” His smile grows into a full smirk and Axel rolls his eyes. “Maybe fourth if Iskald has anything to say about it.”

“How’s a man so lucky as to have two husbands?” Axel sighs. “I guess they’re both highly fucking weird, so maybe it balances out.”

Ansem laughs, one that rings through the room. “The Marshal’s got the patience of a saint, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t looked at Dilan and thought about it.”

“Gross.” Axel sticks his tongue out. “He’s been around since I was a teenager, I’m  _ definitely _ not thinking about it.”

“Suit yourself.” Ansem’s still chuckling as he leans back in his chair again.  _ “Stalwart Tempest’s _ pilots used to be the ones every teenager had on their walls, but that changed when you and Isa took the stage.”

Axel almost chokes on the air. He coughs and shoots Ansem a look. Shouldn’t it be obvious that Isa is off-limits when they’re on a maybe-dinner date? Ansem’s face is all bland nothingness, even though his eyes are darker and hard to read. Axel frowns, feeling how deeply it tugs at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, I guess. But-.”

“But then you left, so now it’s all about just how he and my brother look beside each other. Oh, the sordid romances that go on in a Jaeger.” Ansem’s eyes seem to shift colors, the brown going black as he leans back in the chair and then going back to that bright honey-brown as he tips forward again. “Of course, half of it is true.”

He’s not going to ask. Axel drops his hands to his lap and digs his fingers into his legs. He knows, he suspected that Isa and Xemnas were close. There was no denying the way Xemnas  _ wanted _ him to see how he could touch Isa that day in the kitchen. Axel exhales and keeps his voice flat - but he can’t keep some of the heat out of it. “It’s like you said, it’s like losing yourself in someone else while you’re in the drift.”

Ansem hums and drops his arms on the table. “True. I have another question.”

A headache is beginning to pound at his temples and Axel knows his look has become a glare. “If it’s about Isa, fuck off. I thought you were trying to get me to relax.”

“I was, but a man can’t help but be curious.” Ansem holds one hand up. “But it’s not about Isa or my family.”

_ Small fucking blessings. _ Axel rubs a temple and picks his drink up again. “Fine, shoot.”

“Would you ever get in a Jaeger again?”

The glass stops before it can touch his lips. Axel looks over it and the table at Ansem. Ansem’s arms are loose at his sides and his eyes are openly curious - a sharp contrast to the shifting darkness of a moment ago.  _ A man can’t help but be curious. _ Axel exhales and takes a sip from his drink, more to give himself time to think than anything.

Would he ever get in a Jaeger again? There’s more than one question there. He sets the glass down with a tap, one finger resting on the rim. “I would be able to step inside one. I don’t hold anything against the Jaegers - the reason I left is a fault in me. You know what happened. I couldn’t take it and I knew harder choices would be coming.”

“I’d get back in a Jaeger. Hell, I’d get back in  _ Eclipse _ just to do it. But I don’t think I can do the drift. Anyone who might take me on would be taking on a mess. Sure, I’ve made some peace with it in the last five years, but to be back in the pilot’s spot and drifting? I think all that shit would bubble out before I could take a damn step.”

Axel sighs and looks out at the city. “Rangers make the hard choices. They fight and they win and they let lives settle on their shoulders more than any medals they might cook up for us if we do this. And that’s the thing I couldn’t take - all those lives were lost because we weren’t fast enough. We won, but I wasn’t strong enough to keep going with that weight on me.”

It’s quiet at their table, the noise from the street below echoing up to them in a cacophony of shouting people and honking bike horns. The buzz of the neon lights is somewhere below that, a constant pulse in the air. Ansem sighs and tips his head back, catching Axel’s attention again.

“I understand,” he says, much more sincerely than anything else Axel’s heard from him. Ansem rubs a hand over his mouth and meets Axel’s gaze again. “But, when we’re between the rock and the extinction event, you might not have a choice. We only have so many pilots and they didn’t keep your Jaeger as a decoration piece.”

He wants to bristle at that, to get angry that no one will listen to him and he’ll be forced back into the pilot’s spot, but he knows the truth. Axel exhales heavily. “Until it happens, I’m giving my all to training the great pilots they do have. I’m better served there and  _ Eclipse _ will be a better weapon in someone else’s hands.” He takes a large gulp of his drink and lets the alcohol burn chase away the bitterness.

Ansem nods. “Well, you better think about it some. Because this won’t be easy, especially when we still don’t know how we’re going to close the damn Bre-.”

Shrill alarms blare outside, loud enough to cover any other noise. A voice starts to speak over them, a warning, but Axel doesn’t need to understand the language to know what’s going on. Ansem throws money on the table as he stands. Axel scrambles to his feet and they both race for the door.

A Kaiju has left the Breach and is headed for the city - it’s headed right for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaiju ruined dinner out in Hong Kong  
> Can't have shit in the PPDC


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: typical Pacific Rim style violence while fighting Kaiju. Nothing too graphic in description, but burns, bone breaks, and acid all come up.
> 
> LET'S GO!!

_ “Movement in the Breach. Double event. Two signatures, category four.” _

If the robotic voice of the computer is unnerving, Aeleus’s voice is a comforting command, reassuring in its seeming lack of nerves. He looks over them all in Command with a gaze that says that they are prepared, they can handle this. One Kaiju or two, they will fight and win again.  _ “Glorious Tsunami _ and  _ Destiny’s Guard _ are to be our front line.  _ Wayward Soul _ will back them up.”

“The Kaiju will reach Hong Kong within the hour. We’ve given them the names Otachi and Intimidator.” Naminé’s fingertips are white as she grips her papers, but her gaze is almost as steady as Aeleus’s. “The readings we’ve gathered from our probes tell us that Intimidator’s large enough to be causing minor seismic disturbances while Otachi seems to be more agile. Both set records for size. Your contacts will convey more information to you as we receive it.”

“Rangers to your Jaegers,” Aeleus orders.

“Sir!”

Preparing three Jaegers for launch turns the hangar into a kicked hornet’s nest of activity. Crews scramble around for final tweaks and checks as others help the rangers into their suits, electronics and armor clicking into place until the pilots can climb into their equally armored Jaegers. Terra and Aqua are ready first, well practiced at suiting up efficiently together.

_ Glorious Tsunami _ moves to launch - her pilots taking up the handshake like dance partners who have always moved together. She strides out into the sea as  _ Destiny’s Guard _ is moved to launch. Kairi, Sora, and Riku’s handshake is a technical wonder, three minds touching and memories mixing until they move as one. Aqua and Terra are partners who have trained together for a long time, who know every step -  _ Destiny’s _ pilots are three friends who’ve tied their legs together for a race and laugh as they find themselves in sync because they know each other so well.

The rain has started by the time they reach the miracle mile.  _ Tsunami _ stays feet ahead of  _ Destiny, _ her crowned helm sliding back and forth as they scan for any sign of the monsters headed their way. 

Sora taps his fingers against his leg. He’s half-focused on the displays in front of them, half-focused on the clouds quickly building above them. It’s going to rain for hours from the looks of things. Sora lifts his hand and presses the button to open their comm lines. “Why does it always seem to rain when the Kaiju come?”

Kairi hums and Riku sighs, but Terra actually answers. “They think the excess energy thrown out by the Breach when a Kaiju comes through carries more precipitation into the air. It makes for quick storms if it’s true. It’s a good thing we can’t really slip.”

All five of them laugh lightly and Sora smiles. “Not us, but I bet Ven and Vanitas will...if they ever get here.”

Ventus’s voice comes over the line then. “We’re on our way. Someone has to guard the city itself.”

“We won’t let it get that far,” Aqua says, her tone slightly teasing. “Enjoy a relaxing break with Vanitas.”

“Ugh!” It’s hard to tell if it’s Ven or Vanitas who groans but they all laugh again.

Naminé’s voice brings them back to business. “Kaiju are now approaching.  _ Tsunami, Destiny, _ be prepared.”

“Ready,” Aqua says calmly.  _ Tsunami’s _ arms fall to her sides and twin blades slide out from her wrists. They’re twice as long as her hands, but almost as dark, making them hard to spot before they cut into their target.

“We’re ready,” Riku adds.  _ Destiny’s _ systems hum to life, all three arms stretching out and then relaxing as the rotation programming prepares for action. Kairi and Sora roll their shoulders, the holographic displays around their wrists that they use to note weapon activation brightening as their hands move. They release the locks on the arms, letting them swing back and forth as they search the ocean for any sign of movement.

_ Tsunami _ takes another step forward. Every bit of distance matters when it comes to keeping the Kaiju from the cities - they need to catch them here.

With a roar, a giant form breaks through the water between  _ Tsunami _ and  _ Destiny. _ It slams into  _ Tsunami’s _ back, forcing the Jaeger to bend forward. It’s a hulking shape with a broad head that seems made for charging and bashing.  _ Tsunami _ is a credit to her name however - she bends with the force, then uses the extended rotation on her arms to hook the Kaiju. Using its momentum,  _ Tsunami _ flips the Kaiju over itself and down into the water again. The impact sends shockwaves through the water, shaking the ground under their feet.

“Eyes on Intimidator,” Terra says, only slightly tense. “It’s definitely big.”

“You two must share a nutrition plan,” Aqua says, panting slightly. “We won’t be able to do that again.  _ Destiny-.” _

Before she can give an order, another shriek comes as the second Kaiju breaks through the water. Otachi grabs  _ Destiny’s _ shoulder in a clawed hand and its tail swings around to slam into her side.

“Oh no you don’t!” Sora shouts the words and  _ Destiny’s _ arms are already moving. Two catch the tail and the third slams into Otachi’s face. The palm is buzzing with electricity and Otachi screeches as the voltage goes off against its skin. Otachi pulls free and dives under the water - spots on its back glow for a second before it dives deeper and then races away.

_ Tsunami _ only has a moment to observe before Intimidator is slamming that hard head into their chest. They shout in surprise and then slam both blades into its back. Intimidator doesn’t flinch. Its skin is thick and it lifts its head enough to slam into their middle again.  _ Tsunami’s _ legs are made to keep them braced, but it's only a combination of them and the blades that keep her on her feet.

_ “Destiny _ , do you see Otachi?”

“Negative,” Kairi says. “It dived under the water and disappeared. Backing up  _ Tsunami!” _

_ “Wayward _ is almost there. If we can locate Otachi, they’ll focus on it.” Naminé’s voice is firm, most of the shake hidden as she conveys the information she can give them.

_ Destiny _ charges for Intimidator. The bull-headed Kaiju is still bashing into  _ Tsunami’s _ middle, pulling back just enough to build up some force before crashing in again. It’s not giving them enough time to retaliate. Two of  _ Destiny’s _ hands curl into fists - the third stays open, the rain sizzling as it hits the surface of a palm that’s been heated to sear any Kaiju flesh it touches. They ram into Intimidator as it pulls back again, slamming one fist into its eye and hooking it under its neck with the superheated hand.

Now Intimidator bellows in pain, its front legs flailing as it tries to fight back.  _ Destiny’s _ other fist swings around to punch it in the face again. Intimidator wrenches its neck and then slams its head into  _ Destiny. _ They stagger back, losing their grip.

_ Tsunami _ has had enough time to recover and darts in. One thick leg catches Intimidator’s side in a kick, keeping it off balance. Then they slash at its face and eyes, trying to get a solid strike on the neck. Intimidator bellows again and turns to run further out into the ocean. “You’re not getting away!” Aqua’s voice is a fierce shout and the engines in  _ Tsunami’s _ legs kick into high gear. They race after the Kaiju, closing the distance.

“If you can, pincer it from the side,” Terra orders as they close in.

“On it.” Sora and his friends reorient,  _ Destiny’s _ arms settling into order again. The third hand activates, the palm filling with coolant just waiting to be vented. They charge after  _ Tsunami, _ intent on the kill.

_ Tsunami _ is almost close enough to strike when Intimidator slams its weight onto its front legs. Before they can react, its hind legs kick out right into  _ Tsunami’s _ chest. Metal crunches as the Jaeger is knocked right off its feet, slamming down into the ocean. The motion is fierce, sending both pilots ricocheting from side to side. Aqua bites back a scream as her arm goes the wrong way and something cracks. The pain reverberates between her and Terra, but they both fight to get  _ Tsunami _ back on her feet.

Luckily, they’re not alone.  _ Destiny _ hits Intimidator from the side, wrapping all three arms around the Kaiju. The coolant ejects from the ready hand, freezing any skin and muscle it touches. Intimidator roars and thrashes -  _ Destiny’s _ rotating arms allow them to absorb some of the motion as their feet spread to keep the Kaiju from knocking them down next.

“Hold it,  _ Destiny!” _ That’s Vanitas’s voice snapping through the comm lines.  _ Wayward Soul _ is charging through the water toward them.

“Working...on it,” Sora grinds out. “Watch for the other one!”

_ Tsunami _ gets their feet under them and Aqua grabs her arm. “We might be out of it. My arm’s broken.” She takes a breath and her eyes are steel. “But we’ll pay this bastard back for that.” She and Terra step forward,  _ Tsunami’s _ blade held at their side. 

Intimidator sees them and struggles harder, but  _ Wayward _ has arrived. They grab Intimidator too, forcing the Kaiju to stay still enough. “After you,” Ven says, all playful politeness as they wrestle the monster into place. 

“Say goodbye!” Terra’s voice is full of heat, but  _ Tsunami’s _ motions are completely controlled.  _ Tsunami’s _ arm lifts, her blade catching the light off the Jaegers.  _ Wayward _ and  _ Destiny _ tighten their grip and the blade comes down, slicing cleanly through Intimidator’s throat. Their other arm comes up and the blade plunges right into the Kaiju’s chest. The heat that is a given for all Jaeger weapons keeps the blood from spilling everywhere - but Kaiju Blue sizzles on both blades as  _ Tsunami _ steps back.

Despite the mortal wounds, Intimidator fruitlessly thrashes. It only takes a minute and the beast’s strength is gone. They drop it into the ocean, all of them breathing a sigh of relief. Aqua’s turns into a hiss of pain. She can push through a lot, but her arm is well and truly broken. “I’m out, I’m sorry.”

_ Destiny _ pats  _ Tsunami’s _ shoulder. “It’s just one little Kaiju now. We’ll take it down quickly,” Riku assures her. “Go, get patched up, and then we can have dinner.”

“Only if Sora promises to cook.” Terra chuckles.

“We’ve got to find the other one first.” Ven flicks through their screens. “It dived into the ocean and then what?”

An answer comes not in the form of Naminé’s voice, but in the form they appreciate least: bright red text flashes across all of their visuals  **‘Kaiju has breached city limits.’**

“Shit,” Vanitas spits. “Shit, shit,  _ shit. _ ”

_ Destiny _ doesn’t spare a word. They turn and begin to sprint through the water. With their bright blue color and their speed, they’re a wave racing for the shore.  _ Wayward _ isn’t as fast, but they start after them. Vanitas jabs the button for comms. “Locent, what the fuck? Why didn’t you say it was heading for the city?”

Naminé’s voice is slightly shaky, but she swallows her horror. “It was under the water until it got right to the island. It jumped out and went right for the civilian districts. It seems to be...hunting.”

“Hunting?” That’s Kairi, slightly out of breath. “Aren’t they supposed to just wipe out everything human in their path?”

“It’s supposed to, but this one...it’s moving through the city without destroying things. We’re not sure what’s going on.” Naminé takes a breath. “And even worse, Intimidator’s movements set off a small earthquake. The power’s out for almost the entire island.”

Vanitas spits something very unfriendly. “Fantastic. The shelters?”

“They’re doing what they can, but you have to be fast.”

“We will be,” Ven and Vanitas say simultaneously. Ven jabs a button and heat begins to draw from their nuclear core to the blades on their back.

_ Destiny’s Guard _ reaches the city in a matter of minutes. They slow to a walk, scanning for any sign of the Kaiju. “How far into the city?” Sora asks, other hand pressing the buttons necessary to prep their swords. Kairi flexes her hand and the sword shoots out.

“It’s not th-go straight down this street and then left at the intersection with the overpass  _ now!” _ Naminé switches from advisor to commander in a heartbeat and the three of them respond just as quickly.  _ Destiny _ charges ahead, stopping before they crash through the overpass. Otachi is a mere twenty feet from them, head pressed to the ground. It takes them a minute to take in the broken ground, the way its claws dig at the edge, trying to widen the opening.

“No!” Kairi reacts first, pulling  _ Destiny _ forward before the Kaiju can do anymore harm to those trying to shelter underground. Sora and Riku quickly catch up, but it's Kairi’s arm that swings. Her sword catches Otachi under the throat and rips it away from its prey. The Kaiju tumbles over from the force, catching itself on its claws and tearing up the road. 

It shrieks at them, mouth opening widely. They step between it and the broken open shelter. Riku’s blade slides free next, Sora keeping his hand open for any grappling. “Let’s go,” Riku says and they charge.

_ Destiny’s Guard _ is a modern marvel. She’s the sleekest Jaeger ever built and the fastest currently in existence. She can use heat, electricity, and the freezing cold against the Kaiju, burning them three ways over. She has swords as backups, all three sizzling with the heat required to combat Kaiju Blue spills. She’s quick, she’s armed, and her pilots are the kind that take hope into their hands and shape it into a weapon that cuts a path to a brighter future.

Otachi doesn’t respond quick enough, its head swinging briefly toward the shelter, and then it can only scream. One sword slams into its shoulder, a glancing blow, and the other cuts into its side. Otachi hisses and its clawed hands come up to slam against the  _ Destiny’s _ head. Their free hand grabs one wrist and wrenches it off.

But the Kaiju isn’t deterred. Otachi hisses again and then its mouth opens wider, swelling under its chin. The hand still on their head slams them back. The swords are free and the Kaiju releases them.  _ Destiny _ only staggers, but then Otachi spits. Bright blue acid sprays at them, a controlled jet that sends up immediate alarms.

“Dodge!” Someone screams, but there’s only a breath of time.

The acid slams into  _ Destiny’s _ face, eating through the armor in mere moments. Alarms blare as their visuals spark wildly and then go dead. The armor plating is thick, but the acid is more corrosive than any they’ve dealt with before. 

“Dammit,” Kairi pants, resisting the urge to run a hand through it like she’d wipe sweat from her face. “What do we do?”

Sora is already moving. His eyes are closed as he swings the arm he has control of up and then vents the coolant again. It hits their face, freezing everything it makes contact with - especially the boiling hot acid. They hold their breath and then exhale as none of it comes dripping through and into the conn-pod.

Riku jabs the comm button. “Visuals are entirely down. We can’t see a damn thing!”

“We’re here,” comes  _ Wayward’s _ quick answer. A ping goes off, an old radar signal that tells them that another Jaeger is near them. “Nice work,  _ Destiny, _ but we’ll finish it off.” Ven’s voice is calm despite the situation. Sora sighs quietly and drops direct control of the arm to press his hand to his helmet.

_ Wayward _ isn’t slow, but  _ Destiny _ got ahead of them as they primed to finish things very, very quickly. They pull two swords glowing with heat from their back and lunge in. The first goes for Otachi’s head, swinging towards its mouth. Otachi tries to bite the sword and then leaps back, shrieking from the burn.  _ Wayward _ doesn’t let them get further, swinging the other sword.

But Otachi twists its tail around and grabs  _ Wayward’s  _ wrist. It yanks the Jaeger off-balance and the sword slams into the ground instead. It sticks, the asphalt melting around it into a mire that hisses and pops.  _ Wayward _ lets it go, yanking her arm free of the tail claw. Her other sword swings for Otachi’s side again.

The Kaiju hisses, dodging under the blade, and then leaps up. It spits more acid, but  _ Wayward _ was watching for the swell of the sacks under Otachi’s jaw. They dodge aside and the building behind them gets to melt a bit instead.

“Bastard,” Vanitas spits. “How the hell is it this big  _ and _ this fast?” They jab the sword forward again, a feint, but Otachi grabs for their arm and they have to move back. “We’ve got to pin it.”

_ “Destiny?” _ Ven calls over the comm lines. “Any luck?”

“Still dark,” Riku answers. “We’re getting radar pings from you, but anything visual beyond that is down.”

Ven’s quiet for a minute. “Audio’s working?”

“Yeah,” Sora says. “We can hear it hissing and spitting.”

“And us,” Ven says, starting to grin. “Stay there. When we give the signal, charge forward with your swords out. You’ll drive it right into our swords or yours.”

“Now there’s a plan!” Kairi cheers. “Prepping weapons for pincer maneuver.”

Vanitas grins. “Damn, Ventus. Sometimes you do use that lump of matter in your skull.”

“I like to air out the cobwebs sometimes.” Ven grins right back. “Let’s get this fucker turned around.”

Otachi is looking past  _ Destiny _ again, but it only takes pulling another sword to grab its attention. It hisses and  _ Wayward _ takes a step to the left. Otachi follows, eyes focused on them. That damn tail undulates behind it, ready for anything  _ Destiny _ might do or to grab their weapons again.  _ Wayward _ takes another step, almost directly across from  _ Destiny. _

“Okay, okay,” Ven whispers. “Just a bit more then…” They lower their swords slightly, but keep the ends pointed up. “We’re open,” Ven says quietly into the comms, as if even their voices can be understood by the Kaiju now. “Charge.”

_ Destiny’s _ arms come up, three swords pointed right at Otachi, and they lunge in. Otachi shrieks, tail snapping out, but it’s out-armed with five swords pointed at it. But the creature isn’t done doing its damnable thinking. Instead of running blindly away from  _ Destiny _ , it leaps at  _ Wayward _ , higher than the swords are prepped for.

It slams into them like a bullet train, sending  _ Wayward _ slamming back into the building behind her. Vanitas and Ventus shout in alarm, the machinery holding them in place struggling against the force as Otachi’s momentum crushes them into the ground. One clawed hand grabs their helmet and they struggle, trying to make sense of dropping a sword, grabbing the Kaiju, and getting their feet back under them.

_ “Wayward!” _ Their swords retract and  _ Destiny _ follows after them, dependent on sound alone. There’s plenty of that to be had, crashing and crumbling and then, a godawful crack.

Someone screams in pain and then  _ Destiny’s _ reaching hands find flesh. All three hands dig in, hooking around Otachi’s body. It snaps at them, but they grit their teeth and drag it off of  _ Wayward. _ With a heave, they fling the Kaiju away, earning a precious few seconds to recover.

_ “Wayward?  _ Are you good?” Sora bites his lip, his other hand clenched into a fist as he stares desperately at the dead screens. If only they could  _ see! _ There’s a crackle through the lines, what could be someone’s voice, but their precious seconds are already up. 

Otachi grabs  _ Destiny _ from the side, its jaws already open. More acid is sprayed directly into their face and chest, eating rapidly through the Jaeger’s armor and mechanics. More systems go dead,  _ Destiny’s _ arms dropping to hang at their sides. Some of it breaches the conn-pod, dripping around them and Sora grabs the front of his helmet with a shout.

Pleased with its efforts, Otachi shoves them aside -  _ Destiny _ drops to her knees, acid dripping from her front. With a shriek of what almost sounds like triumph, Otachi spreads its arms. Skin unfurls, stretching between its fingers and elbows in another horrific advantage.

“It’s got wings,” Naminé whispers. This one can fly, can get far out of their reach and then the acid… She grips the edge of the console and sends her voice to all of them, any of them that might be able to do  _ something _ . “Don’t let it get into the air! We’ll never be able to stop it!”

“It’s already fucking dead!”

_ Wayward _ launches from the shadows of the building debris, her visor shattered and the pieces falling away to expose the conn-pod within, but with two white-hot swords in her grip. Ventus and Vanitas’s voices both scream pure rage, a shrieking duet to the engines’ roar in her legs.  _ Wayward Soul _ leaps into the air and comes down hard. Both swords pierce through Otachi’s wings, pinning it to the ground like an insect waiting for display.

“Too slow,” they spit, pulling one more sword. Otachi doesn’t have time to swing its tail up, to wrench itself free. It shrieks, its vivid eyes rolling to look back at them, and then-. The last sword spears it through the heart, the final pin on the whole gruesome display.

_ Wayward _ grips the last sword as the Kaiju shudders - they make sure it won’t move again and then climb off the body. They walk over to  _ Destiny _ and tug her back up onto her feet. Besides the groan of the Jaegers and the clatter of pieces tumbling to the ground, silence rings through the streets.

“Status, rangers?” Aeleus has taken the comms and there is a subtle quiver to his voice. “Can you confirm both targets down?”  _ Has our luck run out again? How many of them did we just lose? _

“Otachi is down, sir. We killed it. We will return to the Shatterdome under our own power.” Ven or Vanitas, it’s hard to tell when they speak quietly, emotionlessly. At this point, they don’t really care about the difference.

Aeleus doesn’t let himself exhale. “Good.  _ Destiny?” _

It’s quiet for a scarily long moment. Then someone groans. “Still here,” Kairi says. “Our poor Jaeger is basically dead, but we’re all still here.”

“I can’t see anything; it’s so dark,” Sora complains. “I think we’ll have to be picked up.”

Aeleus’s sigh of relief makes him slump. “That’s alright,” he says. “ _ Wayward _ stay there until the crew arrives to collect  _ Destiny. _ You’ve done...incredible work tonight.” He pauses and then says, in a voice heavy with grief, “I wish I could promise you a long rest and recovery, but I’m afraid there is precious little time. I’m grateful that all of you are still with us, but I will have to ask more of you again soon.”

“That’s war, sir,” Riku says tiredly. “We know.”

“Then you should also know that the people of this world owe you their lives -  _ we  _ owe you our lives. And we are grateful for your work and your sacrifices. Tonight, you will have a good meal and what time we can spare for rest.” Aeleus looks over his shoulder at the rest of Command. “All of you, we would not be here without your work and it deserves what celebration we can manage.”

But time grows so incredibly short and they all know it. Aeleus faces forward again. The hangar stretches before him and he knows that many of the hundreds of people below are looking up at the windows to Command. They look up and listen, hoping for good news. He has it, but only for the moment. Aeleus switches to the internal PA line. “Both Kaiju have been eliminated. All rangers have survived.” Aeleus takes a breath as a few cheers echo through the hangar. He lets them have this moment of hope.

Then he brings the hammer down. “Reset the clock.”


	15. Chapter 15

They make it back to the Shatterdome just as the confirmation comes in that Otachi is dead. Things are incredibly chaotic, people running down the halls as they shout over one another, but Ansem simply clasps his arm and then disappears into the madness. Axel takes a breath, looks around, and, for a minute, considers disappearing back to his room until he hears that the kids all made it back.

But he can’t. His hands are shaking with the need to be in motion, to contribute in some way. Axel strides toward the hangar before he can overthink it. Mostly likely Xion and Roxas are already there in case extra backup was needed. _Isa too, unless he’s up in Command._ Axel shakes his head. There’s nothing he can do about Isa - Isa has a better handle on how to help fight this war than he does. _It’s time I focused on myself again. I haven’t spent the last five years fixated on Isa on purpose._

As he moves down the hall, Axel picks up bits and pieces of the fight and the damage, but nothing concrete.

“-ompletely melted. It’s a miracle the core survived. There’s no way we’ll get _Destiny_ repaired fast enough.”

“It should only take a week to get _Wayward’s_ visor repaired, but ha. You remember when we had mont-.”

“At least _Tsunami_ and _Superior_ are still in one piece.”

“Don’t forget about _Obliv-_.”

It doesn’t help his heart or his stress levels.

The hangar is busier even than the halls. Crews move back and forth, shouting in any number of languages to one another as they secure _Tsunami_ and prepare the bays for the damaged Jaegers that will limp or be hauled back to the Shatterdome. Axel moves toward _Oblivion_ and can just barely make out two armored figures leaning against the rail and staring toward the main bay door. Xion and Roxas are fine.

Axel shoves his hands through his hair and moves out of the way of a hauler stacked up with sheets of metal. He’d know better what was going on if he’d gone to Command. Ugh. _C’mon, stop being a coward._

“I’m fine, really. Please go speak to the Marshal. I want to know that the others are alright.” Aqua’s voice is surprisingly clear and Axel looks around. She’s being rolled past on a gurney, Terra walking beside it as they both ignore the medics. Axel falls into step beside them.

“Otachi’s down if you didn’t hear before they hauled you out,” he says. “Chatter in the halls said _Wayward_ and _Destiny’s_ teams are okay, but not in perfect shape.”

Their eyes flick to him in surprise, but then Aqua smiles slightly. “Thank you, Ranger Avery. Did you come straight from Command?”

Axel shakes his head. “No, we actually just got back. Trainer Conli and I were actually in the city when the alarms went off. Bad timing on our part - we didn’t realize the window was that tight for the next attack.”

They’re staring at him in obvious astonishment. “You...didn’t seek out a shelter?” Terra asks.

“Ah, no, we headed straight back here. Ansem drove.” Axel smiles sheepishly. “I didn’t even think of it really. We’re supposed to be here when attacks happen, so we came back.”

“You could have been killed,” Aqua says. She lifts her arm, the one not shoved into a sling and pats his arm. “But it’s good to see how serious you are. There were concerns among a few of us about how committed you really were. The Marshal spoke highly of you, but…”

Axel laughs, ending in a smile that’s plenty self-deprecating. “I get it, trust me. I spent years telling myself that I didn’t deserve anything. But hey, trauma, am I right? I might not be able to pilot, but I’m no slouch either.” He sets her hand back at her side. “Trust me, I take this as seriously as any of you. I know the stakes here.”

“Probably better than some of us,” Terra murmurs. Axel doesn’t answer, doesn’t nod. Everyone here has seen how his history ends in a burn scar across a city. Aqua stays quiet as they continue to move.

They make it out of the hangar and bang through the medical ward’s doors. Axel is ordered out immediately, but Terra gets to stay close. Aqua calls back that ‘it’s just a broken arm, don’t worry,’ but if he could please send updates about the others back to them... Axel chuckles quietly and drops into a chair by the doors. Honestly, if half the hallway shouts are true, all the other pilots who went out will be here soon enough.

He could still go to Command and find out what happened, hear all the gorey details and see what the hell was going on in the city. But at a certain point, it’s all just words. He’d rather hear the story from the rangers who were out there fighting. 

Axel runs his hands through his hair and exhales. “They’re still alive,” he whispers to the empty hall. “Remember such blessings, because they are few in these times.” It’s something Elizabeth always said. Things weren’t easy, couldn’t even really be called good, but she was always determined to hold onto those things that were better than the rest. Remember the good, because it means something when everything else is so bad.

“We’re fine! God, fuck off already!” Vanitas’s voice sounds like glass scraped over concrete. For once, there might even be a reason for it. Vanitas’s helmet is shattered, only a few shards of the faceplate are still in the frame. It looks like several pieces cut into his face before they fell out - one gash beside his eye is bleeding quite freely. 

The medic with him says something and Vanitas glares up at them. “Yes, we know who we are! You think we’ve never drifted before, you fucking moron?” The medic looks less than impressed by this and turns to the third person with them.

Ventus has Vanitas pulled against him, both of them still in their drivesuits and armored all the way up. His helmet is whole, but there’s plenty of scratches and dents that shows that something managed to get them in the conn-pod. Ventus grimaces as the medic looks at him. “We’re fine,” he repeats. “We just need a little bit to, to clear our heads.”

“Some fucking peace and quiet,” Vanitas adds and then spits blood on the floor.

“You can have it once I’ve stitched up that cut, Ranger Jourdain,” the medic says flatly. “Come on then. Dr. Iskald’s orders are to-.”

“To keep us together,” Ven says. “We know. It’s easier when we can see each other.”

The medic sighs and then moves to the doors, holding them open for the two rangers. “Straight in, take the first bed on the right.”

Ven and Vanitas start moving again, passing right by Axel. He sees Ven’s eyes flick to him and he smiles slightly. Ven’s mouth twitches, but then they’re through the doors. Axel sighs and slumps down. “We had to be out the time they all got beat to hell, didn’t it?” It’s not like he or Ansem could have stopped it, but he feels at loose ends that he wasn’t even here to get updates and offer advice.

_If there are now two Kaiju coming at us each event...we’re almost out of time. What the fuck are we going to do?_ The Marshal must have a plan. The science team, Isa, Dilan, they must have something they’re working on. If only he knew what it was, then maybe he could fucking relax a bit! Axel drops his hands, letting them dangle between his knees. “But why would they?” he asks the empty hall. “You left and you’re not a ranger - you don’t _need_ to know.”

He should be doing more than this.

“Axel!”

His head snaps up again at the sound of Kairi’s ragged voice. He stands up at the sight of them. Like the others, Kairi and her friends are still fully suited up, but they have their helmets off. Kairi has Sora’s arm tugged over her shoulders, Sora leaning against her as they limp down the hall. Riku is being supported by Isa. Axel’s gaze meets his eyes for a moment and then looks at Kairi. Her hair is stuck to her face with sweat and there’s a strange set of red dots scattered amongst her freckles, but she manages an exhausted smile for him.

Axel takes Sora’s other side, wrapping an arm around his back. “What happened?”

“Did you miss the two Kaiju brawl?” Kairi arches an eyebrow. “Really?”

“I was off base actually. We only got back as you guys sent confirmation about Otachi being dead.”

Kairi grimaces. “Ugh, that wasn’t even us. Ven and Vanitas killed it.” She looks at Sora, who is weirdly quiet, and then up at Axel again. “Otachi was an acid-spitter. It got us _twice_ . _Destiny’s_ going to take forever to repair and there’s...complications.”

“Complications?” Axel glances between Sora and Riku. Isa doesn’t say a thing, helping Riku to the doors and then shouldering one open. Axel helps Kairi and Sora follow. Treatment is more important than his questions.

“We’re not sure exactly what triggered it, but the second spray got into the conn-pod. It didn’t hit the three of us directly, obviously…” Kairi shrugs. “We’re not sure if it was an overload from _Destiny_ as her systems went down, but Sora and Riku can’t see. I’ve got spots, but I’m okay.”

Axel mutters a few choice swears. They’re lucky to not be half-melted. “That could be it,” he says as they stop and wait to be directed to beds. “The neurological stuff is always tricky. The systems are loads better now about feedback between the Jaeger damage and ranger injury, but our brains have always been complicated. Still, I’d put money on it not being permanent. Their minds just need to understand that there’s no injury to their physical eyes.”

Something held tense in Kairi’s face relaxes minutely. “You think?”

He nods. “I do. After my last run, I’d have long minutes in the morning where I had phantom pains in my legs. I thought I couldn’t walk because they’d been so ripped up, but it was really just lingering feedback from _Eclipse._ After a few weeks, it faded.” _But we don’t have weeks now, do we?_ Axel doesn’t say it. These kids don’t need that kind of pressure on them from him.

“Rangers Vidales, Avery, bring Ranger Halili over here please!” Another medic is waving from down the ward in a curtained off section. She smiles, somehow, and Axel smiles back on reflex. If she can stomach all this and still pull up a smile, he can do his best too.

“Let’s get Sora laying down. He okay otherwise?” Axel looks down at him and his eyes are closed, but he’s moving his feet so he’s not entirely unconscious.

Kairi is focused on the medic and hums, “Hm, yeah, he’s just worn out. He usually has to go lie down for a bit after we do a full test or active combat. It’s a lot, you know?”

“I do,” Axel says with a smile. “Come on, Sora, just a bit further and then you can relax.” They get him over to the bed and Kairi sits him down. Sora sighs and flops back onto the pillow, dropping a hand over his eyes. His thumb pops up for a second, so he’ll be alright. The lights are obnoxiously bright in here, but Axel’s pretty sure Sora would be glad to see them soon. He pats Kairi’s shoulder and then steps out between the curtains before the medic can order him out.

There are plenty of voices murmuring quietly behind the fabric walls dividing the ward up for limited privacy. Axel stands in what counts for the middle and just listens. They’re injured and banged up, but no one’s dead - the voices, lacking any volume or tension that makes them ring through a room, help the relief settle into his skin. They’ll be fine...given actual time to heal.

_Remember the good._

With a sigh, Axel shoves his hands into his pockets and moves toward the doors. No doubt Terra will check on Ven, and Kairi will find them if they don’t just start shouting past the curtains. All of them will know how they’re each doing; there’s no reason for him to linger.

“Axel.”

He stops immediately and looks over his shoulder. Isa is standing there, arms crossed over his chest, and frown firmly in place. His tone was carefully flat, no angry tinge or edge to it. It could be called civility, maybe. Axel tips his head slightly. He’s been civil since he got here. “Yeah?”

“The Marshal wants all upper level staff to meet as soon as possible in Command. Let’s go.” Isa starts walking, passes him, and Axel just blinks. He stares at Isa’s back, watching his ponytail sway back and forth, and then shakes off the fugue. A meeting, okay, sure.

For the first time since he returned, Isa acted like Axel was another person instead of his enemy. Axel shakes his head again and pushes through the medical ward’s doors. Was it because he was here, checking on the rangers he’s been helping train instead of hiding somewhere? _Maybe I should stop worrying so much about what Isa thinks of what I’m doing and more about how I feel about it._ But that’s a consideration for when it’s quiet and he’s had time to let the tension unwind from his shoulders. For now, he apparently has a meeting to attend.

* * *

The doctor with the long blond hair and the cold green eyes is right by the door when Axel follows Isa into Command. Axel swears he learned the man’s name, but hell, it’s probably his last name. Iskald, if he’s remembering right. Axel glances at him as he passes, but it’s clear that he’s focused on the phone pressed against his ear. “The equipment should be there shortly. Listen to Demyx and he’ll let you know when the Kaiju is prepped. Yes, Ienzo, listen to _Demyx!_ He is the expert and I don’t care how rude you think he’s being.”

Yeah, definitely not a conversation for him. Axel follows Isa toward the front. Everyone’s sitting in chairs pulled away from the stations and no one looks energetic. Isa wasn’t kidding about it being a meeting for all the upper staff, but it’s still a startlingly small group overall. The PPDC used to span continents. Aeleus is here, of course, but so are Dilan, Ansem, Xemnas, Naminé, and now he and Isa. Isa takes the seat waiting between Xemnas and Naminé, nodding to both of them. Axel grabs another of the chairs and swings it around to sit beside Ansem. A moment later, Iskald joins them with a tired sigh.

“Everything alright?” Dilan arches an eyebrow, tapping the top of his cane. 

“They’re fine considering what a mess that all became.” Iskald rubs his temples. “The crew we sent with the equipment will call once everything’s done. I don’t expect Ienzo to be coherent enough to remember.”

“This is still a stupid plan.”

Iskald glares at Dilan. “But it’s the best we’ve got. Cram it.”

Aeleus clears his throat. “Thank you all for joining me. I know we’re all more than a bit worn thin, but I wanted to have a discussion about our next steps before we all dare breathe a sigh of relief.” He looks around their circle and Axel folds his arms across his chest. He gets the feeling he’s only here because he’s part of the training team. Aeleus’s gaze lands on him and he nods. “Right, yes, to those who have not been directly introduced. Ranger Axel Avery is part of our training team. Ranger Avery, you haven’t been formally introduced to Doctor Even Iskald, our head Kaiju scientist.”

Even looks at him, nods, and then goes right back to Aeleus. Axel nods back and then rolls his eyes. He gets it - he’s not a giant monster worth studying. “I’ve met Naminé along with Ienzo,” he tells Aeleus. “Seems like she wears more than one hat around here.”

Naminé smiles slightly at him. “I assist with Dr. Iskald’s work, but I’m the Marshal’s assistant during active combat too. That’s it.”

“Our primary contact and information distributor,” Aeleus adds with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He leans back in his chair, arms dropping as he sighs. “To business. We’re awaiting news from Ienzo and Junior. With any luck, Ienzo will be able to repeat his experiment and gain more information about the Breach. Once we have a better grasp on that, we’ll be able to finalize our plans. But that does not remove our problems.”

“ _Wayward Soul_ and _Destiny’s Guard_ will need extensive repairs before they’re ready for combat again. _Wayward_ less so, but they will not be available for the next engagement. That leaves us with three Jaegers: _Glorious Tsunami, Ethereal Superior,_ and _End of Oblivion._ And with Ranger Lai’s broken arm and the other injuries, we’re down the rangers we need as well. However, _Ethereal Superior_ is key to any plan we have to close the Breach.”

Aeleus looks around their circle and it feels like his eyes linger on Axel. He frowns. Aeleus moves on, pressing his hands together. “So, if _Tsunami_ does not have the rangers needed to pilot her, _Superior_ is needed for our final plans, and our other Jaegers are too broken to be in active duty in time for the next attack, we have but one option.”

Ah, he really should have known. Axel closes his eyes.

_“Heliacal Eclipse_ is being examined as we speak to identify any issues she may have developed during her retirement. I don’t expect many, our engineers say that she’ll be in a fine state once they’ve cleared out the dust.” It’s almost a joke, an attempt to break the tension. Axel can appreciate that even if it feels like his skin is sitting wrong at the thought of her being brought to life once more, of her being someone else’s.

_I made my peace with that when I left._ Or did he breathe a sigh of relief when _Ethereal Superior_ was made public? Now’s not really the time for him to try and figure that out. There’s just not enough time. The clock at the head of the room continues to tick up, marking the seconds they’ve managed to live past yet another attack.

“While I appreciate the help another Jaeger can provide, Marshal, who will pilot it?” Xemnas’s voice is calm, professional. There’s no hint of ire or derision about _Eclipse_ in his tone. Axel bristles anyway. _Eclipse_ isn’t just ‘another’ Jaeger. He opens his eyes, but presses his lips together to keep them from a scowl. Xemnas isn’t looking at him; Isa is looking at his lap.

Aeleus nods to Xemnas. “A reasonable question, Ranger Conli. If push comes to shove, we will evaluate which rangers are well enough to pilot and can take over with _Eclipse._ But, my thinking is that she will be an alternate if we need you and Ranger Lunara in combat. _Eclipse_ is a reliable Jaeger - the two of you did test runs in her if I remember correctly.”

Xemnas nods. “We did, yes, but the Mark-4’s were being completed by then. We moved on and she was retired from active duty.”

_We moved on._ Axel digs his fingers into his arms and fights to keep his face expressionless. Is that what he wanted for Isa? Yes, he wanted someone who was Isa’s equal, who could keep up with him in this terrible war. But hearing Xemnas say it that way? It sends sparks through Axel’s veins. What does _he_ know about _Eclipse?_ Why should he be given her to pilot if she’s nothing but a spare to him?

_What? Are you going to offer to be her pilot again?_ Axel can’t, he knows he’d fall apart the moment another mind brushed his memories, but dammit...he almost wishes he could. Ansem’s words, faded in the rush of a disaster bearing down on them, come back to him. _“When we’re between the rock and the extinction event, you might not have a choice.”_ If he gets a chance before they reach that point, what would he choose? Axel shifts in his seat.

“We will work out the details once we have more information. Junior’s calculations will need to be adjusted now that we’ve had our first double event. Plus, what information Ienzo can gather for us could change the entire plan.” Aeleus looks at Axel and this time holds his gaze. Dread quickly winds Axel’s gut into a knot. “I have one thing more that needs to be done as we prepare for this next stage. _Eclipse_ needs her drift systems tested. I would prefer that her original rangers do this as they would be most familiar with any oddities.”

Axel exhales and can feel every single eye on him. He doesn’t look around, instead turning and meeting Isa’s gaze alone. It’s impossible to read anymore, the distance between them so much farther than the mere feet that they’re physically apart. But there’s a flash of something in Isa’s gaze, something quick and dismissive that makes the sparks Xemnas set into his blood burst into flames.

_He thinks I won’t do it._

“If Ranger Lunara would be comfortable with it, I have no objections.” Axel holds Isa’s gaze as he says it, daring him to be the one to object. He doesn’t want to do it, it’ll be messy and awful, but damn _both of them_ for thinking that he’s too much of a mistake to step up and do the things that are asked of him. He and _Eclipse_ are history, but they are not _gone._

Isa’s head leans back slightly, the slightest rock in his composure. “I have no objections,” he says flatly. “When would you like this done, Marshal?”

“Within the hour.” Aeleus nods as Axel’s head snaps around to look at him. “They’ll have her up and running soon and we don’t want to put this off. Once we’re done here, both of you report to the hangar. The teams have drivesuits prepared.”

How long has he been planning this? Axel only exhales and leans back in his chair. “Yes sir, Marshal.”

“Very good. Now, Even, how long until Ienzo has done his experiment?”

The conversation turns to predictions and tests that Axel doesn’t listen to. Whatever nonsense the science department is up is their mess to deal with. He has less than an hour to wrangle his emotions and his memories into place before his mind touches Isa’s for the first time in five years.

He looks across the circle again. Isa has one leg crossed over the other at the knee. He leans forward, his hands resting on his leg, and he tips his head. Xemnas is leaning forward as well, whispering something to him. As Axel watches, both of their gazes flick to him. Xemnas’s gaze turns into a glare and he shifts forward as if he needs to block Isa from his view.

Isa meets his gaze and holds it. Even as Xemnas shifts forward and his long silver hair blocks Isa’s face, Axel can feel his eyes burning holes into him.

For better or for worse, they’re finally going back to what they were. For one drift, they’ll be partners, rangers, co-pilots again.

In the hangar below, _Eclipse’s_ core lights up with a roar that shakes through Axel’s bones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in it now guys! The next chapter draft is practically finished because this AU consumes my waking thoughts and it's already over 5k. The PacRim train just keeps on going.
> 
> For my PacRim canon familiar folks, I'm stretching the timeline out a bit to give me and the characters a few more experiences. So, here's where we leave the movie's timeline behind basically!


End file.
